Impuls

– Really? – Emily catches her breath.

Charlie nods.

He feels her – there's a reason Charlie Clarke chose this path. Johnson knows that she is now an open book for a psychiatrist, as she has always been. And the whole atmosphere–the blind trust, the talk, the colored glass–the whole atmosphere is as if it were made for her.

It's as if he's been waiting and preparing for her.

Charlie looks relaxed, but his eyes are sharp, just like Lorraine's, missing only the scalpel in his hand and the biting lips.

– Dr. Clark said you grew up in an orphanage," Emily said cautiously.

She doesn't hope for anything – you can't come and say hello and learn the whole life story of people she will never be on the same step with; but some shards, scraps of phrases, bits and pieces of past or present can be collected.

To cherish.

But it's time she got used to it-the world is always against her, even if there are occasional exceptions, but that's more to confirm the rule.

– We all have our own story, Emily," the psychiatrist says softly. – If you want to hear mine, you'll probably have to tell me yours.

Emily looks at him in surprise:

– What could possibly be interesting about my life?

– You can start at the end, if the begi

– I would like to be a doctor," Emily answers after a while.

– But you're already a doctor," Clark says with surprise.

– Well…" Emily crumples her pillow, "yes. But not like this. I want to be different. Not that kind," she repeats.

– Like what?

– Like your sister or you," the nurse exhales. – Successful, rich, so you can have di

Charlie Clark's face turns into one big question mark.

– You have a strange way of thinking about doctors, Emily," he says after a moment. – It's strange that in all that list you didn't mention such qualities as professionalism, understanding, knowledge.

Johnson's cheeks blush.

– Why such a desire to become successful in the field of medicine? Why not business, not law?

And again, those palms triangle, the stare and Clark-which-brainwalker.

Emily shrugs her shoulders:

– I've wanted to since I was a kid.

– И?..

– And that's it.

Charlie raises his hands:

– Okay, my turn. – He sits back and makes himself comfortable. – You know, I went into medicine because I wanted to give people hope. That sounds romantic as hell. – He laughs. – I wanted to be for others what Laurie was for me – she was the one who turned a troubled teenager into a human being. But I still don't have enough! – He raises his finger.

– So that is why I am here! – Emily exclaims. – That's why you gave me the chance, isn't it?

Charlie nods:

– Exactly. A year ago my assistant was a student with a lot of debt, and she came in for a job interview as a joke, and now, look – now I'm without her. I even know what time my workday starts, and I used to come every time at a different time. If you can, why not help? Everybody needs a little bit of magic sometimes. Especially in our town. – He winks.

Adding up two plus two, Emily has no time: in the pockets of her jeans crackles-ringing old, still broken phone. After apologizing, she presses the call button, but before she can even say "Yes?" the phone explodes and cuts into familiar notes:

– Johnson, to my office, now!

Emily jumps up from her seat; spilling her coffee, setting it right on the sand in the Japanese garden, muttering:

– Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me! – and storms out, miraculously not blowing down the paper door.

Charlie Clark looks sadly at the ungodly ruined composition, at the coffee stains sprawling across the carpet, and, taking out his phone, quickly dials a message:

Catch a bird.

Chapter 11

Just wait. In the black coat of mist,

For yourself, for others who are not,

The black dot floats stubbornly to the goal.

I'll get there, and we'll light the dawn.

Riley laughs and pats Dylan on the shoulder; there are stray, lively sparks in his green eyes; just the same in his bright ruby hair. The white robe is lost against the surgeon's dyed-up, yellow T-shirt, blue-blue jeans, green sneakers; Riley is the living embodiment of the rainbow, a blob of energy and light.

Under the wide sleeves of her robe, she sees a dozen tattoos, from constellations to portraits, from hieroglyphs to runes, and the anesthesiologist Kemp, sitting nearby, pokes fun at them, saying, "What's the point of your pictures?

– I," he says proudly, "have a mermaid on my shoulder. Because I love the sea and women! And who's that, Queen Elizabeth?

Dylan is swarthy, tall, whipping; he hides dark curls under a bandana, now and then touches a scar on his lower lip, as if he is not used to it; thin eyebrows, protruding cheekbones – an anesthesiologist looks like a pirate who just came ashore; and black hirsute suit, worn contrary to all rules of sterility, only adds resemblance to this image.

In front of Clark sits Sara – a senior operating room nurse: Asian appearance, haughty look even a neurosurgeon would envy; black hair gathered in a high ponytail, leopard-rimmed glasses, thin fingers tapping impatiently on her knee. Sarah yawns into a tiny fist, waves her long eyelashes, and gracefully throws her leg over her leg, exposing a thin strip of snow-white skin beneath her short skirt.

The varnish of her high-heeled shoes reflects the light for a second as Emily enters the office.

Four people in white coats stare at the nurse as one – still the same stretchy turtleneck, still the same oversized jeans; no hint of belonging to their society.

Clark – now out of habit – grimaces disapprovingly, and the comparison to the squashed cockroach reappears in Emily's mind.

She slipped sideways behind the counter just outside the entrance, trying to hide between the closet and the wall, but she got confused in her own feet, almost fell on her side, and, holding the still unpacked hirsute suit against her, she pressed her shoulder blades against the door.