If at Faust You Don't Succeed

Yes, somebody was pla

As soon as he realized this, Azzie's foul mood fell away and he became positively cheerful. Because if there is one thing that makes a demon feel good, it is exposing a conspiracy plot and proving himself smarter than anyone else.

Azzie welcomed the opportunity. He had been underemployed of late. Since he'd been expecting to be chosen to set up the contest he hadn't set up anything else for himself in the way of interesting work. This would do nicely. And he had a pretty shrewd idea where to begin.

Casting a last look at the site of the Witches' Sabbat, and finding it up to standard, he rose into the air, spi

CHAPTER 13

His flight (conducted more soberly once he was in the aether) took him to the familiar regions of South Hell, where the Office of Infernal Records was located. These records were not open to the general hellish population, but Azzie knew a way by which he might get a look at them.

Avoiding the great gray Records Building with its ranks of damned souls tapping at computers, condemned to an eternity of mind-boggling boredom, but allowed an occasional cigarette break, since Dark is prepared to be lenient as long as you want to indulge in something harmful, he went to the little rustic tavern behind Records and slightly to its right. From here he telephoned Winifred Feyye, a pretty little imp of his acquaintance, who was a floor manager in the Protocols Division.

"Azzie! It's been ages since I've heard from you!"

"You know how it is, baby. If you really want to do bad in this universe, it's a full-time job."

Now they sat in a comfortable booth in the corner and the tavern keeper served drinks, a stinger for Wi

"Oh, Azzie," Wi

"Me too," Azzie said. "Who knows, maybe it'll become possible? Wi

"I know just the one you mean," Wi

"I'd much appreciate a look at it."

Wi

"I'll bring it here on my next break."

"Wi

The pretty little imp departed in a swirl of short skirt and a flash of thigh. Azzie sat and waited in the tavern as the slow hours passed. From time to time a worker from the Office of Infernal Affairs would come in for a quick one. The lighting here was perfectly even: both day and night it was the color of a rainy winter afternoon. A few drops of rain fell from time to time, speckling the tavern's leaded windowpanes. Azzie found a two-week-old copy of the Infernal Internal Times, house organ of the Office of Infernal Affairs. He read without much interest about raffles, a picnic, and the new Infernal Affairs a

"I've got it! But I have to bring it back soon." She handed him a thick manila envelope.

"I'll just need a moment," Azzie said. He took out the roll of parchments, and, with Wi

The basic terms were laid out with a fussy exactitude that paradoxically seemed to invite quibbling. It began, "Be it herein agreed that Joha

Azzie skipped down to where the contest rules were set forth: This Faust (which Faust? there was the ambiguity again!) will present himself for five situations, which are further set forth in the codicil. In each of these he will be given a choice of actions and, with no further coaching, will decide for himself what course to take. The judging of these events will be solely in the hands of Ananke, who will consider them from the viewpoint of Good and Bad, Light and Dark, or any other paired contraries as may express to the weighing of this contest. And it is furthermore stipulated that this Faust will act in this contest of his own free will as that term is commonly understood…"

Azzie put down the parchments and asked Wi

"That's exactly who," Wi

"I didn't think he was capable of such quibbling. There are ambiguities here that would delight the professors at the Institute of Advanced Prevarication."

"In fact, Michael has been studying casuistry," Wi

"That's quite a fine quibble all by itself. Hmm." Azzie looked over the document again. "All this talk in here about free will… Do you suppose it might be a red herring? And if so, what is it intended to direct attention away from?"

"I haven't a clue," Wi

"Perhaps not, my dear." He rolled up the parchment and returned it to her. "But I know someone who might."

CHAPTER 14

The person Azzie had in mind who might know was Lachesis, eldest of the Three Fates, and some say the wisest. These are the ladies who spin, measure, and cut the thread of human destiny. It is Lachesis who does all the real work, however. Clotho, who spins the thread out of the flax of undifferentiated being, is a cheerful old lady whose fingers do the work all by themselves while she lives in daydreams of a former time. Atropos, who cuts the thread, works entirely under Lachesis' directions, snip, snip, cut it here, dearie, and that one there, another life predestined to go down the drain. This was not very demanding work and Clotho and Atropos had plenty of time left over for interminable card games and the serving of the tea and pound cake on which the Fates lived. Only Lachesis needed to use judgment, determining how long a man should live, and, some say, in what ma