Myth Alliances

"Hey, stop!" I shouted.

But I was too late. Wensley threw himself on his knees in front of the eldest Pervect.

"Dear lady," he pleaded, "I most humbly apologize."

"What is this?" I demanded. "Wensley, what are you doing?"

He looked up at me. "I had no idea how hard we were making it for them. We are not used to having anyone give us direct orders. Let us say that… we didn't take it well."

"I'll say, so

"I am, truly," the Wuhs vowed. "I'll do anything I can to help make it right." "Well, for a start, you can tell your hired gun here to stop interfering in our business ventures!" the skirt-suited one insisted. She walked over and whacked me on the chest with the back of her hand. "We're doing all this for your benefit. You people have been making it almost impossible for us to live up to the terms of our agreement. We're businesswomen. We have a reputation across thirty different dimensions of being the Pervects to come to when you need something done right in the minimum possible time, and you're doing a hell of a job of undoing years of hard work in a matter of weeks."

"I'm really sorry about the misunderstanding," I informed them, rubbing the sore place with my fingertips. "I didn't realize until I saw one used that those Pervomatics really were food choppers. But if it's so straightforward, why were you concealing from the Wuhses what they were working on? It looked pretty suspicious."

"Because these sheep, in case you haven't noticed, have all the morals of jackdaws," the eldest sighed, sinking down into a chair. "They'll take anything and rationalize that it's okay as long as no one else knows they're taking it. But why didn't you come to us in the first place and just ask us what we're doing, instead of putting us out of business in two dimensions?"

I heard a contrite little noise behind me, but I ignored it. I had been wrong enough times on my own in my life that I didn't have to ruin a second reputation to make my explanation.

"I got some advice I didn't understand properly," I shrugged. "It's all my fault."

"Don't let him take the blame, dear Pervects," Zol put in from behind me. "He came to me, and I inadvertently gave him a wrong steer. Please forgive us all."

I glanced over my shoulder. The little gray man stood in the doorway flanked by Bu

The skirt-suited one pointed a finger. "Aren't you Zol Icty?" The Kobold bowed. "I have that honor."

She smiled, showing four-inch long teeth, an expression which was repeated on the faces of all of the Pervect Ten. "We have all your books."

"I'm sorry about your workroom," I told them, as the female in the business suit broke out a keg of wine to toast the new spirit of cooperation. "I think the alteration may be permanent. You can't do magik in here any more."

"As long as the computer runs, who cares?" the little one declared. "I'm Caitlin, by the way. I've been checking the archives on you around the dimensions. You've got a pretty hot reputation, for a Klahd."

"Thanks, I think," I replied.

Tananda shifted impatiently. "Hey, handsome, are you going to let us in, or do we have to stand here and watch you drink in front of us?"

I had to transit through the brilliant flash of light twice, once to open the fire spell outward, and once to accompany the rest of my companions into the room.

"Tananda's one of my former partners," I introduced my associates. "Bu

The tallest Pervect eyed Bu

"I was on one occasion," Bu

"You are?" Oshleen continued in astonishment.

I remembered her now. (For those of you who missed our previous encounter please see that fine volume Myth-Told Tales, available from your finer stockists.)

"So am I. What do you think about secured investment in growth industry?"

"Depends on the track record of the companies involved," my assistant replied, instantly falling into the se- cret language of finance. "Are we talking seasonal or year-round value?"

I instantly lost track of the thread of conversation. Money management was not my long suit.

Vergetta, the eldest, waved an admonitory finger at Gleep, who regarded her with utter i

"He's not going to… you know… again, is he?"

"Oh, no," I assured her, mentally crossing my fingers. I exchanged glances with Gleep. I think I saw understanding in those round blue eyes that now was not the time to upset the delicate balance.

"Good. You I remember," she turned to Tananda. "You and a couple of big lugs were the ones who ruined our plan in the Bazaar."

"You bet we did," Tananda declared, holding her ground, "extortion's not welcome there."

Vergetta sighed. "It wasn't supposed to go that far. We were just offering services. You think it's easy, after spending a day arguing with creditors, to go and clean a dozen offices and shops? You think I like scrubbing toilets?"

"But, five gold coins a week?"

"Pervects always charge top coin for their services," Zol explained. "They believe they're worth it. You should have paid it."

"Too much," Tananda disagreed, shaking her head. "We did the right thing putting you out of business there."

Vergetta patted me on the arm. "You're right not to follow this little guy's advice, So

"I'm in your debt," Wensley told her, leaping to get the carafe off the table and fill it for her. He hadn't left her side since he had been freed from the snow globe. "I'd like to help undo the mess I made."

Vergetta didn't hesitate. She frowned at him. "From what we've been able to find out about your hired gun here, this guy is Mr. Co

"Me?" Wensley squeaked. "Why?"

"Because you hired him, Bubby. If he's got any advice to pass along, you have to ask for it."

Wensley turned beseeching eyes to me. "Will you, Master Skeeve?"

I felt guilty about my part in the enterprise, too, so I thought hard for a moment. "Why not the Bazaar?" I suggested.

"Why not?" Vergetta echoed. "Because your little Trollop friend there got us ba

"And I'd have done it for longer, too," Tananda growled, her cat's eyes glowing. "You should have seen the black eye she gave me! And poor Chumley was sore for a week! Nobody beats up on my big brother but me!"

"Only two of you have been ba

"Storyteller goggles," Monishone, the robed one, put in shyly. "My invention."

"That name's got to get changed," Paldine, the business-suited female, interjected briskly. "I'll come with you to handle the negotiations. When? We want to get some black ink back in the ledgers."

"As soon as we're done here," I assured her.

"We could have used that Bub Tube," Oshleen was saying passionately to Bu

"Don't play dumb with me," Tenobia was telling a wide-eyed Gleep, who was gnawing on a table leg. "I was a dragon-tamer when I used to work for the circus. You guys are much more intelligent than you let anyone know."