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All these colors could be found in the hologram formed by the Bible along the temporal axis. In conjunction with sections of text, complex messages formed, permutated, re-formed. Emman- uel never tired of gazing into the hologram; for him as well as Elias it was the master hologram, surpassing all others. The Christian-Islamic Church did not approve of transmuting the Bible into a color-coded hologram, and forbade the manufacture and sale. Hence Elias had constructed this hologram himself, without approval.
It was an open hologram. New information could be fed into it. Emmanuel wondered about that but he said nothing. He sensed a secret. Elias could not answer him, so he did not ask.
What he could do, however, was type out on the keyboard linked to the hologram a few crucial words of Scripture, where- upon the hologram would align itself from the vantage point of the citation, along all its spacial axes. Thus the entire text of the Bible would be focused in relationship to the typed-out information.
"What if I fed something new into it?" he had asked Elias one day.
Elias had said severely, "Never do that."
"But it's technically possible."
"It is not done."
About that the boy wondered often.
He knew, of course, why the Christian-Islamic Church did not allow the transmuting of the Bible into a color-coded holo- gram. If you learned how you could gradually tilt the temporal axis, the axis of true depth, until successive layers were super- imposed and a vertical message-a new message-could be read out. In this way you entered into a dialogue with Scripture; it became alive. It became a sentient organism that was never twice the same. The Christian-Islamic Church, of course, wanted both the Bible and the Koran frozen forever. If Scripture escaped out from under the church its monopoly departed.
Superimposition was the critical factor. And this sophisticated superimposition could only be achieved in a hologram. And yet he knew that once, long ago, Scripture had been deciphered this way. Elias, when asked, was reticent about the matter. The boy let the topic drop.
There had been an acutely embarrassing incident at church the year before. Elias had taken the boy to Thursday morning mass. Since he had not been confirmed, Emmanuel could not receive the host; while the others in the congregation gathered at the rail Emmanuel remained bent in prayer. All at once, as the priest carried the chalice from person to person, dipping the waf- ers in the consecrated wine and saying, "The Blood of Our Lord Jesus Christ, which was shed for thee-" all at once Emmanuel had stood up where he was in his pew and stated clearly and calmly:
"The blood is not there nor the body either."
The priest paused and looked to see who had spoken.
"You do not have the authority," Emmanuel said. And, upon saying that, he turned and walked out of the church. Elias found him in their car, listening to the radio.
"You can't do that," Elias had said as they drove home. "You can't tell them things like that. They'll open a file on you and that's what we don't want." He was furious.
"I saw,"Emmanuel said. "It was a wafer and wine only."
"You mean the accidents. The external form. But the essence was-"
"There was no essence other than the visible appearance," Emmanuel answered. "The miracle did not occur because the priest was not a priest."
They drove in silence after that.
"Do you deny the miracle of transubstantiation?" Elias asked that night as he put the boy to bed.
"I deny that it took place today," Emmanuel said. "There in that place. I will not go there again."
"What I want," Elias said, "is for you to be as wise as a serpent and as i
Emmanuel regarded him.
"They killed-"
"They have no power over me," Emmanuel said.
"They can destroy you. They can arrange another accident. Next year I'm required to put you in school. Fortunately because of your brain damage you won't have to go to a regular school. I'm counting on them to-" Elias hesitated.
Emmanuel finished, "-Consign anything they see about me that is different to the brain damage."
"Right."
"Was the brain damage arranged?"
"I- Perhaps."
"It seems useful." But, he thought, if only I knew my real name. "Why can't you say my name?" he said to Elias.
"Your mother did," Elias said obliquely.
"My mother is dead."
"You will say it yourself, eventually."
"I'm impatient." A strange thought came to him. "Did she die because she said my name?"
"Maybe," Elias said.
"And that's why you won't say it? Because it would kill you if you did? And it wouldn't kill me."
"It is not a name in the usual sense. It is a command."
All these matters remained in his mind. A name that was not a name but a command. It made him think of Adam who named the animals. He wondered about that. Scripture said: ... and brought them unto the man to see what he would call them... .
"Did God not know what the man would call them?" he asked Elias one day.
"Only man has language," Elias explained. "Only man can give birth to language. Also-" He eyed the boy. "When man gave names to creatures he established his dominion over them."
What you name you control, Emmanuel realized. Hence no one is to speak my name because no one is to have-or can have -control over me. "God played a game with Adam, then," he said. "He wanted to see if the man knew their correct names. He was testing the man. God enjoys games." "I'm not sure I know the answer to that," Elias said. "I did not ask. I said." "It is not something usually associated with God." "Then the nature of God is known." "His nature is not known."
Emmanuel said, "He enjoys games and play. It says in Scrip- ture that he rested but I say that he played."
He wanted to feed that into the hologram of the Bible, as an addendum, but he knew that he should not. How would it alter the total hologram? he wondered. To add to the Torah that God enjoys joyful sport ... Strange, he thought, that I can't add that. Someone must add it; it has to be there, in Scripture. Someday.
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He learned about pain and death from an ugly dying dog. It had been run over and lay by the side of the road, its chest crushed, bloody foam bubbling from its mouth. When he bent over it the dog gazed at him with glasslike eyes, eyes that already saw into the next world.
To understand what the dog was saying he put his hand on its stumpy tail. "Who mandated this death for you?" he asked the dog. "What have you done?"
"I did nothing," the dog replied.
But this is a harsh death."
"Nonetheless," the dog told him, "I am blameless."
"Have you ever killed?"
"Oh yes. My jaws are designed to kill. I was constructed to kill smaller things."
"Do you kill for food or pleasure?"
"I kill out of joy," the dog told him. "It is a game; it is the game I play."
Emmanuel said, "I did not know about such games. Why do dogs kill and why do dogs die? Why are there such games?"
"These subtleties mean nothing to me," the dog told him. "I kill to kill; I die because I must. It is necessity, the rule that is the final rule. Don't you live and kill and die by that rule? Surely you do. You are a creature, too."
"I do what I wish."
"You lie to yourself," the dog said. "Only God does as he wishes."
"Then I must be God."
"If you are God, heal me."
"But you are under the law."
"You are not God."
"God willed the law, dog."
"You have said it, then, yourself; you have answered your own question. Now let me die.
When he told Elias about the dog who died, Elias said:
Go, stranger, and to Lacedaemon tell
That here. obeying her behests, we fell.