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I listened. With every pore, I listened. Aahz didn't call me by my given name often, and when he did, it was serious.
"The problem is that to travel the dimensions, even using pentacles for beacons-gateways-requires knowing your destination dimension... knowing it almost as well as your home dimension. If you don't, then you can get routed into a dimension you aren't even aware of, and be trapped there with no way out."
He paused to take another drink from the wine pitcher.
"Now, you've only been in one dimension besides Klah," he continued. "That was Deva, and you only saw the Bazaar. You know the Bazaar well enough to know it's constantly changing and rearranging. You don't know it well enough to have zeroed in on the few permanent fixtures you could use to home in on for a return trip, so effectively, you don't know any other dimensions well enough to be sure of your destination if you tried to jump magikally. That's why you can't travel the dimensions without using the D-Hopper! End of lecture."
I blinked.
"You mean the only reason I can't do it magikally is because I don't know the other dimensions?" I asked.
"That's the main reason," Aahz corrected.
"Then let's go!" I cried, leaping to my feet. "I'll get the D-Hopper and you can show me a couple new dimensions while we're waiting for the rain to stop."
"Not so fast, kid!" Aahz interrupted, holding up a restraining hand." Sit down."
"What's wrong?" I challenged.
"Do you really think that possibility hadn't occurred to me?" he asked, an edge of irritation creeping into his voice.
I thought about it, and sat down again.
"Why don't you think it's a good idea?" I queried in a more humble tone.
"There are a few things you've overlooked in your enthusiasm," he intoned dryly. "First of all, remember that in another dimension, you'll be a demon. Now, except for Deva which makes its money on cross-dimension trade, most dimensions don't greet demons with flowers and red carpets. The fact is, a demon is likely to be attacked on sight by whoever's around with whatever's handy."
He leaned forward to emphasize his words. "What I'm trying to say is, it's dangerous! Now, if we went touring and ran into trouble; what do we have to defend ourselves? I've lost my powers and yours are still so undeveloped as to be practically non-existent. Who's going to handle the natives?"
"How dangerous is it?" I asked hesitantly.
"Let me put it to you this way, kid," Aahz sighed. "You spend a lot of time griping about how I keep putting your life in jeopardy with my blatant disregard for danger. Right?"
"Right." I nodded vigorously.
"Well, now I'm saying the trip you're proposing is dangerous. Does that give you a clue as to what you'll be up against?"
I leaned back in my chair and stretched, trying to make it look nonchalant.
"How abut sharing some of that wine?" I suggested casually.
For a change, Aahz didn't ignore the request. He tossed the pitcher into the air as he rose and strode to the window again. Reaching out with my mind, I gently grabbed the pitcher and brought it floating to my outstretched hand without spilling a drop.
As I said, I am the court magician of Possiltum. I'm not without powers.
"Don't let it get you down, kid," Aahz called from the window. "If you keep practicing, someday we can take that tour under your protection. But until you reach that level, or until we find you a magikal bodyguard, it'll just have to wait."
"I suppose you're right, Aahz," I conceded. "It's just that sometimes..."
There was a soft BAMF! as the ether was rent asunder and a demon appeared in the room. Right there! In my private quarters in the Possiltum royal palace!
Before I could recover from my surprise or Aahz could move to intervene, the demon plopped itself onto my lap and planted a big, warm kiss full on my mouth.
"Hi, handsome!" it purred. "How's tricks?"
Chapter Two:
"When old friends get together, everything else fades to insignificance."
-WAR, FAMINE, PESTILENCE, AND DEATH
"TANDA!" I exclaimed, recovering from shock sufficiently to fasten my arms around her waist in an energetic hug.
"In the flesh!" she winked, pressing hard against me.
My temperature went up several degrees, or maybe it was the room. Tananda has that effect on me-and rooms. Lusciously curvaceous, with a mane of light green hair accenting her lovely olive complexion and features, she could stop a twenty-man brawl with a smile and a deep sigh.
"He isn't the only one in the room, you know," Aahz commented dryly.
"Hi, Aahz!" my adorable companion cried, untangling herself from my lap and throwing herself into Aahz's arms.
The volume of Tananda's affections is exceeded only by her willingness to share them. I had a secret belief, though, that Tananda liked me better than she liked Aahz. This belief was tested for strength as their greeting grew longer and longer.
"Um... what brings you to these parts?" I interrupted at last.
That earned me a dark look from Aahz, but Tananda didn't bat an eye.
"Well," she dimpled, "I could say I was just in the neighborhood and felt like dropping by, but that wouldn't be true. The fact is, I need a little favor."
"Name it," Aahz and I declared simultaneously.
Aahz is tight-fisted and I'm chicken, but all bets are off when it comes to Tananda. She had helped us out of a couple of tight spots in the past, and we both figured we owed her. The fact she had helped us into as many tight spots as she had helped us out of never entered our minds. Besides-she was awfully nice to have around.
"It's nothing really," she sighed. "I have a little shopping to do and was hoping I could borrow one of you two to help me carry things."
"You mean today?" Aahz frowned.
"Actually, for the next couple days," Tananda informed him. "Maybe as long as a week."
"Can't do it," Aahz sighed. "I have to referee a meeting between Big Julie and General Badaxe tomorrow. Any chance you could postpone it until next week?"
"Ummm... you weren't the one I was thinking of, Aahz," Tananda said, giving the ceiling a casual survey. "I was thinking Skeeve and I could handle it."
"Me?" I blinked.
Aahz scowled.
"Not a chance," he declared. "The kid can't play step-and-fetch-it for you. It's beneath his dignity."
"No, it isn't!" I cried. "I mean, if it wouldn't be beneath you. Aahz, how could it be beneath me?"
"I'm not the court magician of Possiltum!" he argued.
"I can disguise myself!" I countered. "That's one of my best spells. You've said so yourself."
"I think your scaly green mentor is just a lee-tie bit jealous," Tananda observed, winking at me covertly.
"Jealous?" Aahz exploded. "Me? Jealous of a little ..." He broke off and looked back and forth between Tananda and myself as he realized he was being baited.
"Oh-I suppose it would be okay," he grumbled at last. "Go ahead and take him-even though it's beyond me what you expect to find in this backwater dimension worth shopping for."
"Oh, Aahz!" Tananda laughed. "You're a card. Shopping in Klah? I may be a little flighty from time to time, but I'm not crazy."
"You mean we're headed for other dimensions?" I asked eagerly.
"Of course," she nodded. "We have quite an itinerary ahead of us. First, we'll hop over to-"
"What's an itinerary?" I asked.
"Stop!" Aahz shouted, holding up a hand for silence.
"But I was just-"
"Stop!"
"We were-"
"Stop!"
Our conversation effectively halted, we turned our attention to Aahz. With melodramatic slowness, he folded his arms across his chest.