Phule's Company

"Is... is Captain Jester there?"

That voice was clearly recognizable to the commander as Brandy's, which meant the other voice had to be...

"The Great White Father, or Big Daddy, as he's sometimes known, is not available at the moment, Top. He's done tippee-toed off to feed his face, thereby giving lie to the belief that the man never eats or goes to the bathroom."

"Who... who is this?" the voice of the company's first sergeant demanded.

"You got Rose at this end, Super Sarge... that's Rose as in Rose-alie? I am faithfully and alertly monitoring our dazzling communications network this evening, as is my sworn duty according to the duty roster you signed and posted this very morning."

"That Rose?" Tusk-anini rumbled, but Phule waved him into silence as he listened for the next exchange.

"Rose?" Brandy's surprise was clear in her voice. "I don't... Well, tell the captain when he gets back that I want to talk to him."

"Hold on a second there, Brandy-Dandy. Before I tell him any such thing, perhaps you might want to reconsider your request? The Main Man is tryin' to keep going on potato chips and two hours sleep, and I was kinda hoping he'd have a chance to fall on his face and die for a couple hours when he got back-that is, if there isn't an emergency hangnail or something to keep him up all night. You don't suppose that just maybe this busy old universe of ours could stagger along without him until morning, do you?"

"Rose, have you been drinking?"

Phule fought back a snicker and kept listening.

"Not a drop that wasn't as pure as a maiden's virtue, O' Ramrod of the Masses... and don't you go trying to change the subject. Is it absolutely, positively cross-your-heart-and-kiss-your-elbow necessary that you talk to the Cheez Whiz tonight, or can I maybe leave him a love note for when he wakes up?"

"Well, Rose-alie. Since you put it that way, I suppose it can wait until the dawn's early light. I can work around it for now."

"Whoa back there, Brandy-wine. You know, you've been keeping the pedal to the metal yourself there lately. Now, realizing that you have to be in top sergeant shape to kick some sense into our merry band when the officers aren't looking, don't you think it might be a good idea to catch a few winks yourself while the tide's out?"

"What are you? My mother?"

"Just your average loyal Legio

Brandy's laugh was clear over the communicator.

"All right. You win. I'll get some sleep and pick it up from here tomorrow. Good night now... Mother. Brandy out."

"That Rose?" Tusk-anini said, repeating his earlier question as the communicator went dead.

"It sure as hell was." Phule gri

The commander flew back up the stairs, nearly breaking down the door of the penthouse in his enthusiasm and eagerness.

"I overheard that last exchange, Rose," he exclaimed, bursting into the room. "You were fantastic!"

"Uggle mpt."

Stu

"I... I'm sorry. Didn't mean to shout," he said carefully. "I just wanted to compliment you on your handling of Brandy's call. "

Rose blushed and shrugged, but kept her eyes averted.

"Well, I guess I'll follow your advice and get some sleep now. Oh. I told Tusk-anini he could do his reading up here. He'll be up in a few minutes."

That got him a nod, but no more. After a moment's hesitation, he retreated through the co

Once within his sanctum, Phule leaned back against the now closed door and thought hard for several long minutes. Finally, with careful deliberation, he raised his hand and punched the proper key on his wrist communicator.

"This is the all-night voice of Com Central," came the now familiar voice. "How may we help you decide what to do with the rest of your life?"

"Rose? Captain Jester here," Phule said, sinking into a chair with a smile.

"Why you High-ranking Rascal. Didn't you promise me you were going to go beddie-bye?"

"Truth to tell, Rosie, I just couldn't doze off until I told you one more time how much I appreciate your golden tones brightening the airwaves."

"Well, thank you, Captain. My lonely night here at Com Central is brightened considerably by your tribute."

"And also," Phule continued quickly, "I've just got to know why you're so much different than when we meet face-to-face."

"Hmmm... I suppose I can light that one little match of enlightenment for you, since things are so slow tonight-but only if you promise to go right to bed when I'm done."

"You've got a deal. So, what's the story?"

"Not much to tell, really. I had a terrible stutter when I was a kid. I mean, it could take me fifteen minutes just to say 'Hello' to someone. The kids at school used to tease me something awful about it, so I got so's I wouldn't say anything just to keep them from laughing at me."

The commander nodded his understanding, so wrapped up in Rose's tale he didn't pause to think that she couldn't see his reaction.

"Anyway, finally somebody got around to ru

"And so you joined the Legion," Phule finished for her thoughtfully.

"Well, there were a few things I did first, but that's about the size of it. Now, don't you go feeling sorry for me, Big Daddy. I'm a grown girl now and I made up my own mind to join."

"Actually," the commander said, "I was thinking seriously of offering you permanent duty at Com Central-that is, if you can forgo the pleasure of standing duty in the swamp."

"Now, that's a thought. Let me mull it over and get back to you on that one. Meantime, I believe you were going to get some sleep? Seems to me I recall someone making me a promise to that effect a little while back."

"Okay. I'll do it." Phule gri

Clicking off his communicator, the commander rose, stretched, and headed for the bed. All in all, it had been a pretty good day. It looked like he had found himself a new clerk and a communications specialist. If things worked out, he'd have to see about getting them each an extra stripe.

It wasn't until he had disrobed down to his shorts that he remembered that he never had gotten anything to eat.