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The bank manager gave us a weak excuse for an understanding smile.
"As you can see, many of us in this dimension who owe our good fortune to Mr. Hoos have taken it upon ourselves to protect him from u
"... After you've benefited from that generosity yourself," I added i
That got a cackle of laughter out of Hoos.
"That's right. Big Fella," he said. "Don't think too harshly of the boys. though. There's nothing quite as honest as a reformed criminal. Would you like me to tell you what the manager here was doing before I bailed him out?"
"I'd rather you didn't," the manager huffed, but there was a pleading note in his voice.
I saw that mischievous glint in the old boy's eyes again and found myself wondering for the first time who had really framed Weasel just before he decided to reform. I think little sister caught it too.
"I don't think any interest will be necessary, Mr, Hoos," she said, taking the bag from him. "I'm sure my client will be happy with the payment as is."
"Are you sure? Can't I give you a little something for your trouble?"
"Sorry. Company policy doesn't allow its agents to take tips. Weasel, you'll send me a bill for the damages to your place?"
"You got it, sweetheart," the bartender waved.
"There, now," Hoos said, reaching into his cart. "I can cover that expense for you, at least."
Tananda shook her head.
"It's baked into our operating budget. Really, Mr. Hoos, I'm already working legit. I really don't need any extra boosts. C'mon, Chumley. It's time we were going."
Waving goodbye to the others, I took my place beside her as she started the gyrations to blip us through to our home base on Deva.
"Perhaps I shouldn't mention it, little sister," I said softly, "but unless my eye for damage has deserted me completely, isn't that bill going to come to more than our company's share of the collection?"
"I said I'd cover it personally, and I will," she murmured back. "The important thing is that I've completed this assignment in record time ....nd if you say anything to Bu
Chapter Three:
"It's all a matter of taste."
-B. MlDLER
"I REALLY HAVE to compliment you, dear. It never ceases to amaze me how much you do with so little."
That was Bu
"Why, thank you. Bu
It occurred to me that it was nice that these two were getting along as well as they did. Our operation could be a real mess if the two of them took to feuding.
It also occurred to me that there were an awful lot of teeth showing for what was supposed to be a friendly meeting. I decided it was time to move on to other subjects before things got too friendly.
"Things have been pretty quiet around here while you've been gone, Tananda," I said. "Not much new at all. How about it. Bu
Bu
Right away, this alerted me. You see, I know that Bu
"Welll..." she said slowly. "The only thing I show at all is an appointment with somebody named Hysterium."
"Hysterium? Why does that name sound familiar? Wait a minute. Didn't I see a letter from him about a week back?"
"That's right. He's a land speculator and developer who's been trying to get in to see you for some time now."
"That shouldn't be a problem. What time is the appointment for?"
Bu
"Actually, I was thinking of postponing the meeting, if not canceling it altogether," she said.
"Why would we want to do that?"
I was a
"It's like I was trying to tell you before, Skeeve. Your time is valuable. You can't just give it away to any fruitcake who wants an appointment."
"... And you figure this guy's a fruitcake?"
"He must be," she shrugged. "What he wants to talk about simply isn't our kind of work. As near as I've been able to make out, he wants us to serve as interior decorators."
That brought Tananda into the conversation.
"You're kidding. Interior decorators?"
Bu
"That's right. It seems he started building a motel complex counting on the fact that his would be the only lodging available in the area. Since he's started construction, though, four others have either a
"That's bad," Tananda winced. "So what does he want us to do about it?"
"Well, apparently our outfit is getting a bit of a rep for being miracle workers... you know, ‘If you're really up against a wall, call THEM!'? Anyway, he wants us to come up with an alternate design or a gimmick or something to catch people's attention so that his place will fill up before the competition rents out room one."
"Us? The man must be crazy."
"Crazy or desperate," Bu
I waited until they were done laughing before I ventured my opinion.
"I think we should take it," I said at last.
I suddenly had their undivided attention.
"Really? Why should we do that?"
I steepled my fingers and tried to look wise.
"First off, there's the fee ... which, if I remember the letter correctly, was substantial even by our standards. Then again, there's the very point you were raising: we've never done anything like this before. It'll give us a chance to try something new... diversify instead of staying in a rut doing the same types of jobs over and over again. Finally ..."
I gave them both a lazy smile.
"... As you said, it's an impossible job, so we won't guarantee results. That means if we fail, it's what's expected, but if we succeed, we're heroes. The beauty of it is that either way we collect our fee."
The women exchanged quick glances, and for a moment I thought they were going to suggest that I take an extended vacation... like, say, at a rest home.
"Actually," Bu