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"I am sure. He ees the third...no, the second from the right!"
"What?"
Resisting the urge to grin, I went to work again, this time changing everyone in the lineup so they were identical images of me.
"But... but thees ees imposs-ible!"
"MISTER Skeeve. If you don't mind?"
"Excuse me, captain?" I said i
"We'd appreciate it a lot if you'd quit playing games with the witnesses!"
"That makes us even," I smiled. "I'd appreciate it if you quit playing games with me! However, I think I've made my point."
I let the disguise spell drop, leaving the policemen in the lineup to glare suspiciously at each other as well as at me. "What point is that?"
"That this whole lineup thing is silly. We'll ignore the bit with putting all of your colleagues up here with me for the moment and assume you were playing it straight. My point is that I'm not the only one who knows how to use a disguise spell. Anyone who's laid eyes on me or seen a picture of me could use a disguise spell well enough to fool the average witness. That invalidates the lineup identification as evidence. All you've established is that someone with access to my image has been seen by the witness... not that I personally, was anywhere near him." There was a long silence beyond the lights.
"You're denying having had any contact with the witness? I take it you recognize his voice."
"That's a rather transparent catch question. Captain," I laughed. "If I admit to recognizing his voice, then at the same time I'm admitting to having had contact with him. Right?"
I was starting to actually enjoy myself. "As a matter of fact, I'm willing to admit I've had dealings with your witness there. Also with the doorman and bellhop, as well as the other people you've dragged in to identify me. I was just questioning the validity of your procedure. It seems to me that you're putting yourself and everyone else through a lot of trouble that, by itself, won't yield any usable results. If you want information about me and my movements, why don't you just ask me directly instead of going through all this foolishness?"
The floodlights went out suddenly, leaving me even more blinded than when they had been on.
"All right. Mister Skeeve. We'll try it your way. If you'll be so good as to follow me down to one of our ‘interview' rooms?"
Even "trying it my way" was more hassle than I expected or liked. True, I was out from in front of the floodlights, but there were enough people crowded into the small "interview room" to make me feel like I was still on exhibition.
"Really, Captain," I said, sweeping the small crowd with my eyes. "Is all this really necessary?"
"As a matter of fact, it is," he retorted. "I want to have witnesses to everything you say as well as a transcript of our little conversation. I suppose I should inform you that anything you say can and may be used against you in court. What's more, you're entitled to an attorney for advice during this questioning, either one of your choice or one of those on call to the court. Now, do we continue or shall we wait for a legal advisor?"
My feeling of control dimmed a bit. Somehow, this seemed much more serious than my last visit. "Am I being charged with anything?"
"Not yet," the captain said. "We'll see how the questioning goes."
I had been thinking of trying to get in touch with Shai-ster, one of the Mob's lawyers. It occurred to me, however, that just having access to him might damage the image I was attempting to project of an i
"Then I'll give the questioning a shot on my own," I said. "I may holler for legal help if it get's too rough, though."
"Suit yourself," the policeman shrugged, picking up the sheaf of papers he had brought in with him. Something in his ma
"Actually, Captain, I'm a little surprised that I'm here. I thought we had covered everything pretty well my last visit."
The police who had picked me up in front of my hotel and delivered me to the station had been extremely tight lipped. Beyond the simple statement that' ‘The captain wants to see you," they hadn't given the slightest indication of why I was being pulled in.
"Oh, the IDs were just to confirm we were dealing with the right person," the captain smiled. "A point you have very generously conceded. As to why you're here, it seems there are one or two minor things we didn't cover the last time we chatted."
He picked up one of the sheets, holding it by his fingertips as if it were extremely fragile or precious. "You see, just as I promised, we've run a check on you through some of the other dimensions."
My confidence sank right along with my heart... deep into the pit of my stomach.
"For the record," the captain was saying, "you are Skeeve, sometimes known as ‘the Great Skeeve'... originally from Klah with offices on Deva?"
"That's right."
"Now it seems you were somehow involved in a war a while back ,...omewhere around Possiltum?"
There was nothing for me to duck there. "I was at that time employed as Court Magician of Possiltum. Helping to stop an invading army was simply a part of my duties."
"Really? I also have a report from Jahk that says you were part of a group that stole the Trophy from the Great Game. Was that part of your duties, too?"
"We won that fair and square in a challenge match," I flared. "The Jahks agreed to it in advance... and darn near beat our brains out before we won."
"... Which you did with much the same team as you used to stop the aforementioned invading army," the captain commented dryly.
"They're friends of mine," I protested. "We work together from time to time, and help each other out when one of us gets in a jam."
"Uh-huh. Would you describe your relationship with the Mob the same way? You know, friends who work together and help each other out of jams from time to time?"
Whoops! There it was. Well, now that the subject was on the table, it was probably best to deal with it openly and honestly.
"That's different," I dodged.
"I'll say it is!" the captain snarled. "In fact, I don't think different begins to describe it! In all my years on the force I've never heard of anything like it!" He scooped up a handful of paper and held it up dramatically.
"From Klah, we have conflicting reports. One source says that you were instrumental in keeping the Mob from moving in on Possiltum. Another has you down as being a sub-chieftan in the Mob itself!"
He grabbed another handful.
"That's particularly interesting, seeing as how Deva reports that you stopped the Mob from moving into that dimension. What's more, you're being paid a fat retainer to maintain the defenses against the Mob, even though it seems that much of that retainer is going toward paying off your staff... which includes two bodyguards from the Mob and the niece of the current head of the Mob! All of which, of course, has nothing to do with the fact that you own and operate a combination hotel and casino and are known to associate with gamblers and assassins. Just what kind of game are you playing, MISTER Skeeve? I'm dying to hear just how you define ‘different!' "
I considered trying my best to explain the rather tangled set of relationships and circumstances that define my life just now. Then I considered saving my breath.
"First, let me cheek something here. Captain. Does your jurisdiction extend to other dimensions? To put it another way, is it any of your business what I do or don't do away from Perv, or did you just pull me in here to satisfy your curiosity?"
Pursing his lips, the Pervect set the papers he was holding back on the table and squared them very carefully. "Oh, I'm very' curious about you. Mister Skeeve," he said softly, "But that's not the reason I sent for you."