Myth-Nomers and Im-Pervections

"Not well... and, after last night, not often," I returned.

That earned me a curt nod.

"Good. A girl's got to watch her reputation." It never even occurred to me that she might be referring to her way with me. She was stating quite simply that if anything happened to me while she was on guard, her professional status would suffer. What's more, she didn't want to risk that reputation on a fool. As one inclined to talk too much, I was impressed with how much she could communicate with so few words.

"Ever work with a bodyguard before?"

"Yes. I have two back on Deva. They were... busy elsewhere, so I came to Perv alone."

There was a flicker in her eye and a slight tightening of her lips, which was as close as she came to expressing her opinion of bodyguards who let their principal come to Perv unescorted, then she continued with the subject at hand. "Good. That means you already know the basic drill. The way I work, I go where you go and sleep where you sleep. I go through any door ahead of you unless I'm covering your exit, and I taste everything before you put it in your mouth. Clear?"

"I don't think you have to worry about poison on this one," Edvick said, "just muggers and..." She cut him off with a glance.

"If he pays for the full treatment, he gets the full treatment. Clear, Skeeve?"

"On covering my exit... how do we handle it if we don't know what's on the other side of the door?" I was thinking of how I got mousetrapped sneaking out of the last bar I was in.

"I cover you as far as the door, then you stand beside me while I check the exit. If there's trouble, I'll tell you which way to move... in or out."

"Clear."

"Any other questions?"

"Just if you'll be available for anywhere from a few days to a week, "I said. "If so, I'd like to retain your services."

"Don't you want to know what I charge?"

I shrugged. "Why? I'm impressed. I'm ready to pay whatever it costs." I paused, then smiled. "Besides, you don't strike me as the type to either up the cost for a well heeled client or to haggle over prices." That earned me a brief, flat stare.

"I'll take the job," she said finally. "And you're right. I don't haggle or pad the bill. Those are two of my more endearing traits."

I wasn't sure if that last was intended as a joke or not, but decided it was as close as she was apt to get, and chuckled appreciatively.

"One more thing... what's your name?"

"Pookanthimbusille."

"Excuse me?" I blinked.

She gave a small shrug.

"Just call me Pookie. It's easier."

"Pookie?"

At first it struck me as a ridiculously silly name for her. Then I ran my eyes over her again, and allowed as how she could be called anything she wanted to be called. If anyone laughed, it wouldn't be me.

"Pookie it is then... just checking to be sure I had the pronunciation right. Shall we go?"

I had Edvick drive us back to the hotel. While I hadn't gotten a lot accomplished today toward finding Aahz, what I had done had left me feeling a little drained. Besides, there was another little matter I wanted to take care of. For a change, luck seemed to be with me. As the cab pulled up in front of the hotel I could see J.R. at his usual place by the entrance. I figured that was fortunate since I wouldn't have known where to find him otherwise. I caught his eye through the window and waved him over. Unfortunately, Pookie didn't see me wave. All she saw was a street vendor moving to intercept us as we emerged from the cab. "Pookie! NO!"

I was barely in time.

My bodyguard had a sinister looking weapon out and was drawing a bead on J.R. almost before I could say anything. At the sound of my warning, however, all movement froze and she shot me a vaguely quizzical look. "It's all right," I said hastily. "He's a friend of mine. He' s coming over because I waved at him as we pulled up."

The weapon vanished as she gave the street vendor a hard, appraising look.

"Interesting friends you have."

"He was the one who saved my bacon-in last night's encounter with the local wildlife. Hang on a few... I've got a little business to transact with him." Pookie nodded and began sca

"Interesting friends you've got," he said, staring at my bodyguard.

"Fu

"No problem. What's up?"

"I paid a little visit to the bank today," I explained, holding up my checkbook. "Now I've got the funding for that little venture of ours."

"Hey! That's terrific! That's all I need to start making us some real money."

"Not so fast," I cautioned. "Let's settle the details and paper this thing first."

"What for? You've already said you trust me and I sure trust you."

"It's cleaner this way. Contracts are the best way to be sure we're both hearing the same thing in this arrangement... not to mention it documents the split at the begi

"Thanks, Skeeve," the vendor beamed, stuffing one copy of each translation into a pocket. "Believe me, this is a sure money maker."

"Any idea yet where your storefront is going to be?"

"No. Remember I said I was going to start out small? Well, I figure to start by supplying the other street vendors, then using the profits from that to lease and stock the store front. It'll probably be three weeks to a month before I'm ready for that move."

A month wasn't too bad for start-up time. I admired his industry and confidence.

"Well, good luck!" I said sincerely. "Be sure to leave word for me at the bank when you have a permanent address. I'll be in touch."

He gathered his wares and headed off down the street as I joined Pookie once more.

"I'd like to apologize for that mix-up," I said. "I should have let you know he was coming over."

"I figured he was okay," the bodyguard replied, still watching the street. "He didn't move like a mugger. It just seemed like a good time for a little demonstration, so I did my thing."

"You really didn't have to put on a demonstration for me. I don't have any doubts about your abilities."

Pookie glanced at me. "Not for you," she corrected. "For them... the folks watching here on the street. It was my way of a

That possibility had never occurred to me. "Oh," I said. "Well, I guess I should stick with my business and let you handle yours."

"Agreed," she nodded, "though I'll admit the way you do business puzzles me a bit. Sorry, but I couldn't help but overhear your dealings there."

"What? You mean my insisting on a contract? The reason I pushed for it there and not for our deal is that it was a long-term investment as opposed to a straight-forward purchase of services."

"That isn't it."

"What is it then? Is it the contract terms? Maybe I was a little more generous than I had to be, but the situation... ." I broke off as I realized the bodyguard was staring hard at me.