Phule Me Twice

But Lieutenant Snipe had not trained with Omega Company. In his eyes, the company's officers were unpardonably slack in their duties; he'd been sent here to put things right again, So when the rotation came around to him, he spent his OD duty exactly as the Legion academy had taught him: at the desk, alert and prepared for any emergency. After all, as the major kept pointing out (not that anybody seemed to pay attention), this planet was technically a war zone. Anything could happen, and somebody had better be ready to deal with it. According to the books, tonight that somebody was Snipe.

The only other human in Comm Central was Mother, hunched behind her console, keeping tabs on the minimal late-night comm traffic: mostly routine messages from offplanet mixed with perfunctory "all's well" reports from the unlucky legio

Having finally abandoned his futile attempts to intimidate Tusk-anini, Snipe found a challenge more worthy of his efforts: keeping himself from dozing off. He was well on his way to losing that battle, as well, when something in the faint buzz of comm traffic brought him to full alertness.

"What was that?" he said, staring in Mother's direction. "I could have sworn I heard something about intruders."

"imperthnthnthn," explained Mother, sinking lower behind her console.

"I hear it, too," said Tusk-anini. He marked his place and set the book down on the desk, then stood up and walked over behind Mother, looking over her shoulder at the readouts on her console. His piggish countenance took on even more of a frown than it usually wore.

Lieutenant Snipe stood and made as if to join him, but the Volton raised a huge paw and shook his head with unmistakable meaning. Snipe managed to resist the impulse to point out that, as an officer, he should be giving the orders. Instead, he asked in a somewhat timorous voice, "What's going on?"

"Don't know yet," said Tusk-anini. "Snipe be quiet; Mother listening."

Snipe opened his mouth to protest, but before he could say a word, all hell broke loose.

Chapter 16

Journal #600

My employer had thought that getting inside the Legion camp would put him in position to untangle all his remaining problems. He would find the robot and reprogram it verbally to act as liaison to the Nanoids, then take its place-his own proper place-as a Legion officer. From there, he could present his solution to the Zenobians' problems and possibly use the prestige of that accomplishment to regain command of his company. It would take some politicking and an end run around the Legion brass, but with patience-and the liberal use of a Dilithium Express card-it ought to be possible.

Little did he realize just how fast events were already moving.

"Where you want to go now, Captain Clown?" Flight Leftenant Qual asked in a reptilian whisper. Once inside the Legion camp's perimeter, the group had taken cover behind Chocolate Harry's supply depot, a Legion-issue prefabricated metal shed across the compound from the MBC where most of the company were undoubtedly sleeping.

"I'm not sure," said Phule. Then, after a pause, he said, "I should probably try to find the robot so I can reprogram it and take its place. Does anybody have any idea where it's quartered?"

"Officer's quarters, I'd think," said Sushi, peering around a corner of the shed. "You don't want to go there. You're likely to run into the major."

"That's no problem," said Phule. "He'll just think I'm the robot. No, he doesn't know about the robot, does he?"

"None of us knew about the robot until you told us," said Sushi. He chuckled. "I know a few people who're going to feel pretty weird when they find out it wasn't really you they were talking to. I heard a couple of fu

"Shhh! Something's happening," said Brick, who'd been keeping lookout for the party.

"What?" said Phule, instantly alert. But the answer came not from Brick but from the MBC, where a Klaxon began to blow. The legio

"What do we do, Captain?" asked Sushi. Already, armed legio

Phule didn't miss a beat. "You know what you're supposed to do, all of you. You've all got your equipment. Now get to your battle stations and be ready for action."

"But...we just snuck into the camp," said Brick. "They must have us all listed as AWOL."

"They aren't going to argue with you as long as you're where you're supposed to be," said Phule. "Go ahead, it's the one place nobody'll pay any attention to you."

"He's right," said Sushi, giving Brick a shove. "If we stay here, we'll stick out like half a dozen sore thumbs. Come on, everybody head for your stations. Captain, you know where to find us when you need us."

"Right," said Phule. "Now, hurry up before somebody notices we didn't all come from the same place as everybody else."

The legio

"First thing I have to do is let Beeker know what's up so he can get under cover," said Phule. "If the camp's on alert, somebody's likely to pick up the hoverjeep on the sensors and assume he's a hostile. I'm sure Beek can talk his way out of almost any kind of trouble, but I have a hunch he'd be willing to forgo the added excitement of people shooting at him while he's doing it."

"Yes, that would be congruent," said Qual. "What might I do to assist you?"

"Maybe you can find out where my robot duplicate is," said Phule. "I ought to reprogram it before anybody figures out there are two of me. And if you can keep the new CO off my back, that'll be even better."

"I do not think he will get on your back," said Qual with his reptilian grin. "But in case he attempts it, I will repel him."

"Good man," said Phule absently, and he began trotting toward the MBC. He hadn't decided exactly what course of action to take, but he knew things would begin falling into place before long. They always did. For now, he just headed for the one place where, unless he was very unlucky, nobody should bother him until he was ready.

Je

No, she knew very well what was keeping her awake. She was worried about Willard Phule-or, to give him his Legion name, Captain Jester. She hadn't realized she cared quite so much. Tough, spunky Je