Of volume lineage

XXIV

Isabella

A yacht.

A boat that floated on water. On the ocean.

The moment I saw it, I felt light-headed. Fears of drowning and dark depths overcame me, rendering me silent.

When Giova

“Are you okay, Izzy?” Marzia asked as we travelled along the dock.

I adjusted my zebra striped headscarf to hide my discomfort. At least, my huge sunglasses hid my true reactions. “I’m meant to be asking you that.”

She sent me a huge grin, the first one in days. Marzia looked exceptionally cute in her flip-flops and purple summer dress. When Giova

The yacht swayed gently on the currents, the title Marzia’s Grace scrawled across the side. Marzia climbed in, chatting happily to the captain while Giova

“I think you’re cutting off circulation to my fingers,” he noted once I was safely inside the boat.

“Huh?”

He gestured to the hand I had gripped. I let go.

“I didn’t even realize.” I forced an airy laugh, but it came out awkward and abrupt.

Giova

“Fine. Just ready for a holiday.” One preferably on dry land, miles away from any large bodies of water. Why couldn’t Marzia love the desert? Or even the woods? I would much prefer sleeping on sticks than water.

It was clear from Giova

The yacht was nothing to complain about, even if it was a death-trap by all accounts. It was three stories, with the living quarters at the bottom and an expansive open-air lounge at the top. The yacht had its own pool, surrounded with sunbeds and a private bar, as well as two jet skis. I wasn’t going on either of those things and neither was Marzia, I decided.

After unpacking (where I took double the prescribed dosage of Dramamine), Marzia and I laid out in front of the pool while Giova

I had no idea where my aquaphobia came from. Perhaps I had always been like this, or maybe my mother had forgotten about me in a bathtub, and I had internalized it. Whatever the reason, my phobia sent me into a constant state of panic. I was sweating, shivering, and had to do breathing exercises to control the tightness in my chest.

A cigarette would calm me down, but I couldn’t leave Marzia unsupervised in the pool. That was rule one when it came to taking care of children.

Look how happy Marzia is, I said to distract myself from my nausea. My stepdaughter did look happy. She was paddling around in the pool, jumping off the unicorn floatie and doing somersaults under the water. Do it for her, endure it for her.

It’s the least you can do.

I did Lamaze breathing until Giova

I realized my mouth was hanging open when he looked over to me, and beelined for my sunbed. Goosebumps had risen up and down my skin as he prowled over the deck. I was wearing a skimpy red bikini, working on my tan line, but beneath my husband’s gaze, I felt as red as the fabric.

“Do you want something to drink?”

You. Or some liquidated Dramamine. “I’m fine, thank you.”

Giova

My brows furrowed. “But didn’t they find drugs in it?”

“They did.”

I huffed. “Your brother works fast.”

“Indeed, he does.”

“Dad! Dad!” Marzia pulled herself up by the side of the pool, splashing us both with water. “Please come in. Pleaseee.”

“Isabella doesn’t want to swim with you?” He arched a brow at me.

I tilted my nose up and stretched over the sunbed. There was no fucking way I was getting into that pool, being in its proximity was already too much for me to handle. “Isabella is busy getting a tan.”

Marzia climbed out of the pool and joined me. “I want a tan, too.” She copied my position and relaxed beside me. Whenever, I moved my legs, she copied me, but ended up falling into a tirade of giggles.

Once the sun began to go down, I had an excuse to insist we head inside. My panic lessened slightly when I couldn’t see the ocean even if I flinched every time the boat swayed, or a wave crashed against the side. I would never understand anyone’s obsession with water. If humans were meant to swim, we would’ve been born with fins.

We sat around the di

We were both delighted to see that Marzia was much better spirits–even if Giova

Soon Marzia’s eyes began to droop. “Are you tired, baby?” I asked, brushing some errant strands out of her eyes.

“No.” She rubbed at her eyes. “I’m not tired.”

No less than five minutes later, Marzia had fallen asleep leaning against Giova

“Not tired,” I laughed softly. “Do you think she’ll sleep through the night?”

Giova

I followed him as he headed to Marzia’s room, opening doors and pulling down the blanket. My fear grew more palpable in the rooms, they were small and smelt of the sea. The only way to see the sky was through a small circular window.

I shoved down those fears and tucked Marzia in while Giova

“She’ll be okay going to bed with wet hair?” I whispered. “I don’t want her to get sick.”

Giova

We moved in tandem, each step silent and deliberate. Once she was comfortable, dinosaur teddy tucked between her arms, Giova

Giova

I shivered, turning into his embrace. “Our room is right down the hall.”

His lips quirked. “Let’s have a drink first.”

We made our way back up to the deck, taking a seat at the small outdoor dining table. Giova