Ecstasy

Zara

Eli’s car smells just like him, mixed with leather.

It’s really clean, and I feel dirty sitting in it. Knowing I fucked Alex last night. Knowing I’m wearing the same clothes I was in yesterday.

But as Eli pulls out of his driveway, he grabs my hand, threading his fingers through mine without looking at me.

I glance at him out of the corner of my eye, warm butterflies tumbling in my stomach. His side profile is so hot, a straight nose, the slight scruff on his strong jawline. And his fucking lips.

I press my thighs together, force myself to look straight ahead.

“Thank you for taking me,” I say quietly, the music a low noise in the background. I can make it out though. It’s Falling Apart, by CVLTE.

Eli squeezes my hand. “I wanted to be alone with you.”

I feel my stomach flip at those words. “Eli,” I whisper after a moment as he pulls into my apartment complex, the drive was way too short for everything I want to say. “What are we doing?”

He puts the car in park, and turns to face me, still gripping my hand. “What do you want us to be doing?”

I bite my lip and his eyes go to my mouth. Right now, all I want to be doing is fucking him, but I don’t say that. “I…I don’t know,” I answer him honestly. “Are you…did you fuck that girl last night?” I blurt out, even though I know I shouldn’t. Even though I know I don’t get to decide who he does or doesn’t sleep with. Not after what he saw last night.

His eyes are glued on me, his fingers pressing my hand against his thigh just a little harder. He’s in black slacks and a grey, fitted tee. A lock of dark hair is over one eye and he just looks so fucking good.

“I see you,” he told me. And I didn’t believe him then. But I do now.

“Yes,” he answers me, and I close my eyes tight.

“Hey,” he says quietly, “look at me.”

I don’t.

He lets go of my hand and grabs my chin between his fingers. I snap my eyes open.

“Does that hurt?” he asks.

For a second, I think he’s talking about his hand on my face, and that doesn’t hurt. But a second later, I realize what he’s really asking.

I nod. “Yeah,” I admit. “It does.”

He lets go of me, pulling back and blowing out a breath. “End things with him. For good,” he says without looking at me.

My insides squirm at that. “Even if I did, Eli, he would not be okay with this.” And would I? Do I want to give Alex up just yet?

Eli laughs, but it’s cold. He turns his gaze to me. “I don’t give a fuck what Alex would or wouldn’t be okay with. If you want me, if you want me to be just yours, end shit with him. If you don’t, fine. But until you figure it out, I want to experience everything too, baby girl.” And then he gets out of the car, slamming the door shut.