Ecstasy

Eli

The underwater lights in the pool and the moon overhead give me plenty of light to see by, so I catch the flicker of fear in her eyes as I lead her into the cold water.

“Eli,” she says again, “what are you—”

“You trust me?”

She looks up from the water to stare at me, her aqua-green eyes wide. “I—”

I yank her in after me and the cold water nearly steals my breath. She yelps, throwing her arms around my shoulders and clinging to me like she’s going to drown.

“What the hell are you—”

“A girl died in here, huh, Za?” I set her on the underwater steps at the entrance to the pool, the water to her waist. I sink down to my knees and she’s still grabbing at me even though she’s well above the two fucking feet of this part of the pool.

“Your girlfriend.” Her words are bitter. It makes me laugh.

I part her knees, bring my thumbs to her i

“She wasn’t,” I inform her. “But we’re going to play a game.”

“What kind of game?”

“A dangerous one.” I rub the inside of her thighs, my thumbs teasing her but never getting close enough. She wiggles on the step of the pool, trying to get me closer as she bites her lip, watching me. “Take off your top.”

She swallows, but reaches behind her to untie the string. She’s so slow about it, I know she’s fucking teasing me, but I don’t care. I wait until it drops from her neck, and then she pulls the last knot free, behind her back.

The scrap of fabric falls away, floating off into the water. She keeps her eyes on me. “What’re you going to do?” she asks me quietly. Trusting me. Waiting.

“I’m going to hold you under.”

She sucks in a breath, her chest rising as she holds it, her nipples puckered with the cold of the water on her lower body, the open air of the night.

“And see if I can get you to come before you…” I smile at her, brushing my thumbs up higher.

She swallows, her eyes fluttering closed for one brief moment.

I remember when Alex stopped me, “She’s nodding off. She’s fucking nodding off.”

But Alex isn’t here, and she’s looking at me again, waiting.

She’s go

I’m go

It’s a terrible idea, her being high and me being, well, me. And that’s exactly why it’s about to happen.

“Okay?” I ask her.

“This seems like a bad idea.”

Very observant, this girl. “It is.” I push my thumbs up higher and watch her squirm on the step, gripping the sleek metal handrail of the pool.

But she lets me touch her. Stares at me as if she’s waiting.

I’m plenty good at waiting, but I’m kind of done with that tonight. There’ll be more later, but for now, fuck it.

I stop touching her between her thighs, grab her by the throat and push her down, so the back of her head is submerged in water.

She takes a deep breath, her eyes wide, hands gripping the ledge of the stairs on either side of her as she floats horizontal on the second-to-last step.

“Take another breath,” I tell her, still on my knees on the bottom of the steps.

She listens.

And then I push her under.

She’s probably got about thirty, forty seconds before she needs to come up for air. I’ve been toying with her the past half hour, so I know she’s ready. And with the fear, that panic bubbling up inside of her—her eyes are closed tight underwater, her hair floating white around her much like Riha

Fear always brings you closer.

I keep one hand on her throat, holding her down. I straddle her legs, keeping them down, too, and with my free hand I push two fingers into her, circle her clit with my thumb.

She’s still grabbing onto the edge of the stairs, but under the water, she opens her eyes.

I’m leaned over her, sitting on her legs on the steps, but pi

I add another finger, three inside of her as I stroke her, my hand cramping with the effort. Do I want her to die?

No.

That’s why I have to work harder.

I do, her legs shaking under my body, but she tries to sit up. Using her hands to push her off the stairs, her chest thrusts against my hold on her but I’m not done. She’s not done. I keep her down.

Her eyes are wide, bubbles coming from her mouth, popping at the surface. She’s panicking, bucking underneath me, but her legs are still shaking, and I can feel her swelling against my fingers.

She’s so close.

She’s still scared though, thrashing under the water, more bubbles streaming from her mouth. She’s freaking out, and if she keeps doing that, she won’t finish.

Fuck.

I roll my eyes, pull my fingers out of her, grab her by the throat and haul her up to a seated position. She gasps for breath, grabbing my arm, trying to pry my fingers from her throat. Her nose is ru

“Calm down.”

She’s staring at me like I’m a goddamn murderer, digging her nails into my forearm, scratching at my hand. I’ll have claw marks over the clock and skull tattoo on my hand, and shit, the way she’s digging those long nails in, I might be bleeding, too.

She manages to say my name, “Eli,” on a gasp as she tries in vain to pry me off her throat.

I grab her arm, too, and yank her into my lap as I turn to sit on the top step, her between my thighs.

I wrap an arm around her chest, pulling her back against me, wrapping my legs around her thighs so she can’t get up.

“Calm down,” I say against her ear. “Breathe. Trust me.”

She’s still gripping my forearm, but she’s not scratching at me anymore. She tries to slow her breathing, and then she starts to shake in my arms. I can feel her pulse beneath my arm over her chest. It’s erratic, wild and reckless just like her.

“You’re okay,” I tell her, my mouth against her ear.

If Alex walks out here, he might kill us both. I need her to calm the fuck down, because I need to get off and I want to get her off. And there’s only so much time we have to do that.

“You’re okay, baby girl.”

She takes another deep breath, leaning back against me, still trembling.

“Don’t hurt me,” she tells me, her voice a ragged whisper. “Don’t hurt me.”

“I’m not,” I promise her. “I won’t.”

“Don’t hurt me, Eli.” She’s saying it again, over and over, like a chant or a mantra, like something to keep me from doing it. Like she’s insane.

But she should know people don’t do what you want just because you beg them.

I close my eyes, think about Mom leaving even though I begged. Think about when she walked out the door for the last time.

All the fighting was done.

All the arguments were done.

It was just me and Dad.

I think about when I was held under in a bathtub.

I think about what it was like, not being able to breathe. Knowing if I did, I’d die.

“Don’t hurt me,” she whispers again.

And it’s only then I realize what she’s doing. She doesn’t think I’ll hurt her.

This is part of the game.

“Eli, don’t hurt—”

“Shut the fuck up.” I wrap my arm around her throat, cutting off her words, my eyes flying open. She sucks in a breath, trying to squirm out of my grip, splashing in the shallow water. I glide my free hand down her stomach, and she freezes, not fighting me.