Страница 15 из 53
Hurray. Whole new 'positive perspective' on birthday. Have been talking to Jude about book she has been reading about festivals and rites of passage in primitive cultures and am feeling happy and serene.
Realize it is shallow and wrong to feel that flat is too small to entertain nineteen, and that ca
Our culture is too obsessed with outward appearance, age and status. Love is what matters. These nineteen people are my friends; they want to be welcomed into my home to celebrate with affection and simple homely fare – not to judge. Am going to cook shepherd's pie for them all -British Home Cooking. It will be a marvellous, warm, Third-World-style ethnic family party.
9st, alcohol units 4 (getting into mood), cigarettes 27 (hut last day before giving up), calories 2455.
Have decided to serve the shepherds pie with Chargrilled Belgian Endive Salad, Roquefort Lardons and Frizzled Chorizo, to add a fashionable touch (have not tried before but sure it will be easy), followed by individual Grand, Marnier souffles, V. much looking forward to the birthday. Expect to become known as brilliant cook and hostess.
9st, alcohol units 9,* cigarettes 42,* calories 4295.* *If can't splash out on birthday, when can I?
6.30 p.m. Ca
Schedule:
6.30. Go to shop.
6.45. Return with forgotten groceries.
6.45-7. Assemble shepherd's pie and place in oven (oh God, hope will all fit).
7-7.05. Prepare Grand Marnier souffles. (Actually think will have a little taste of Grand Marnier now. It is my birthday, after all.)
7.05-7.10. Mmm. Grand Marnier delicious. Check plates and cutlery for tell-tale signs of sluttish washing-up and arrange in attractive fan shape. Ah, must buy napkins also (or is it serviettes? Can never remember which one is common)
7.10-7.20. Tidy up and move furniture to sides of room.
7.20-7.30. Make frisse lardon frizzled chorizo thing.
All of which leaves a clear half-hour to get ready so no need to panic. Must have a fag. Aargh. It's quarter to seven. How did that happen? Aargh.
7.15 p.m. Just, got back from shop and realize have forgotten butter,
7.35 p.m. Shit, shit shit. The shepherd's pie. is still in pans all over the kitchen floor and have not yet washed hair.
7.40 p.m. Oh my God. Just looked for milk and realized have left the carrier bag behind in the shop. Also had the eggs in it. That means . . . Oh God, and the olive oil . . . so ca
7.40 p.m. Hmm. Best plan, surely, is to get into the bath with a glass of champagne then get ready. At least if I look nice I can carry on cooking when everyone is here and maybe can get Tom to go out for the missing ingredients.
7.55 p.m. Aargh. Doorbell. Am in bra and pants with wet hair. Pie is all over floor. Suddenly hate the guests. Have had to slave for two days, and now they will all swan in, demanding food like cuckoos. Feel like opening door and shouting, 'Oh, go fuck yourselves.'
2 a.m. Feeling v. emotional. At door were Magda, Tom, Shazzer and Jude with bottle of champagne. They said to hurry up and get ready and when I had dried hair and dressed they had cleaned up all the kitchen and thrown away the shepherd's pie. It turned out Magda had booked a big table at 192 and told everyone to go there instead of my flat, and there they all were waiting with presents, pla
Right: for coming year will reactivate New Year's Resolutions, adding the following:
I will
Stop being so neurotic and dreading things.
I will not
Sleep with, or take any notice of, Daniel Cleaver any more.
APRIL. INNER POISE
9st, alcohol units 0 (marvellous), cigarettes 0, calories 2250.
I read in an article that Kathleen Tynan, late. Wife of the late Ke
Lately, therefore, whenever things have risked ranging out of control, I have repeated the phrase 'i
My body is a temple. I wonder if it's time to go to bed yet? Oh no, it's only 8.30. I
9 p.m. It was my father, speaking in a weird, disco
'Bridget. Turn your television set to BBC 1.'
I switched cha
'Nick,' said A