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Tears come to my eyes even though I try so often to avoid them. Crying. Showing weakness. But I can’t control it. Not now. And for some reason, I don’t want to, as they overflow and run hot down my temples.
You pull your head back when you seem to feel the moisture on your cheek and look at me questioningly. Your hips no longer move as you dry my cheeks with your thumbs.
Then you bend over and kiss me gently. Your lips are like the sky – so soft and right on mine – and I can’t hold on at all. Unsteadily, I breathe in and try repeatedly to choke down the sobs. You kiss my throat, which feels like a knot, and start moving again.
God, honestly, I love you so.
We both moan and I think I’m breaking in two because of all the feelings flowing out of me right into you. And you’re soaking it all up. You heal me. At the same time, I feel that my body is going to explode at any moment. It’s an amazing feeling. You feel it too because you thrust deep inside me, lower your head to my forehead, and move purposefully one last time. I claw your hair as we climax together, which has never been as intense. Our breath mixes, goose bumps saturate my arms, and you moan hoarsely, which sinks into my bones. You sound almost shaky, as shaky as I feel. Emotions overwhelm me and blood rushes through my veins. I am on the highest cloud you can reach and I know I will not fall as long as you are there.
When the last wave has subsided and your muscles slowly relax, like mine, we are absolutely still and lie there wordlessly. I don’t have to talk to you, I understand you even in silence. You kiss every inch of my face and I shiver under your lips.
I think an eternity passes before you turn us around and I am lying on top of you. My face sinks to your moist chest, which still rises and falls violently; my ear lies against your heart, which now beats more gently.
You hold me and kiss me on the head.
And so we remain, silent until the sun rises.
And if it were up to me, I would lie here with you for the rest of my life and just be, because with you, Caden Rush, I can be anything. And I know that you’ll be there to hold me. You are that one for me and I will not let you go. If you hold me, the world around me can collapse, I don’t care.
I want you. Always. And after today, I will only hold you more firmly.