Four Psychos

“I’ve come to tell you Manella was removed from creating these trials,” he tells the quad in a hushed whisper. “Lucifer designed the upcoming course himself.”

“Is that why he arranged this party? To a

“I’m not quite sure what this party is about. I only learned of it thirty minutes ago.”

I exchange a look with the guys. Apparently those invitations all arrived at the same time.

“I offer this as a token of peace and gratitude. There will be riddles in this course that could cost you your life, and monsters that don’t even have names yet. Lucifer has created the hardest course in history, and I haven’t a clue as to why,” Lamar goes on.

The guys all bristle. “And I was starting to think he might like us,” Jude drawls.

“Lucifer only cares for his children. His opinion of anyone else can change on a whim. Trust me; I know this very personally.” He looks around again, then faces them one last time. “I do hope you brought your protective spirit.”

I pat his hand, and his eyes drop to the contact as a grin spreads over his face.

“Good,” he says, not looking back up immediately. “It may be your best hope of surviving, no matter what Lilith’s cost. I do appreciate you loaning it to me, though I’m not sure why you did it. Manella explained it belonged to you instead of me.”

Gage rolls his eyes. “We don’t really have any control over her, so don’t thank us.”

His head cocks. “Her?” Lamar asks, his tone going confused as all the guys stiffen. “The protective spirit is an actual being? And you can see her?”

He takes a wary step back as he studies them, and Jude’s lips tighten as Gage mutters a curse.

“I should return to Manella,” he says, a curious look in his eyes as the expression on his face worries me. “Beware of the riddles. Don’t treat them with no importance,” he reminds them, then turns and walks away.

He moves through the crowd, and I watch him as Gage runs a frustrated hand through his hair.

“Way to slip,” Ezekiel bites out.

“Fuck. I have no idea how I did that,” Gage says under his breath.

“What does it matter if I’m a girl instead of an it? Is hell sexist? Do they know it’s the twenty-first century topside?”

Lamar gets close to Manella’s ear, whispering something I can’t even hear. Manella’s eyes immediately cut toward us, and Kai curses as he looks away.

“And he just told Manella. Guess that gratitude only extends so far,” Kai growls.

“Not sure why you’re surprised,” Jude drawls.

Manella looks wary and surprised as he moves through the crowd like he’s searching for someone.

“I don’t get it. What’s wrong with me being a girl?” I ask absently.

The crowd parts enough for me to see who Manella is talking to, and my heart stumbles when I see Lucifer. He doesn’t look this way. He doesn’t even react other than to smile like he has a secret.

When his eyes do come up, it feels like he’s staring directly at me, though I see no recognition, and his eyes skip over me, searching around the four of them like he’s trying to pinpoint my location.

“The devil looks intrigued,” I grumble. “Someone please tell me what I’m missing and put me out of my misery.”

Jude blocks my vision, stepping in front of me. “Lamar has a lot more knowledge of the heirs and their powers. He figured out something we’ve been piecing together, but now we’re certain of it.”

“What?” I ask, confused.

“That Lilith couldn’t have created an actual being. I don’t even know if Lucifer can create something like you,” Gage answers.

A chill slithers over me as I look back over to Lucifer, seeing him moving this way.

“Then what am I?” I ask so quietly that I’m not sure they hear me.

Regardless of whether or not they heard it, they can’t answer since the devil is now standing near us.

“I’m glad to see you boys in one piece. I trust there have been no further incidents?” he asks conversationally.

“No.”

The four of them bow at the waist, and I try to think of ways to calm down before I kick their asses for not addressing him as king or Your Royal Evilness or something, damn it. He’s so not the guy you want to offend.

He doesn’t seem to even acknowledge the misstep though.

“You can stand,” he says absently. His eyes land on Jude’s for a brief moment before flicking between all four.

“He’s really good at guessing about liars, and it’s not good if he suspects you of a lie,” I decide to remind them.

Jude’s lips twitch, but it happens so fast that I almost wonder if I’ve imagined it.

“Oddly enough, I couldn’t find any proof of power when I finally managed to find your very thin files. The only information I seem to have on you is your address and your soul count. I’m not even certain how you obtained your weapons.”

Gage doesn’t even bat an eye as he answers. “We were tested when we were summoned on the day our powers manifested. Damnedest thing happened, though. I think it must have been performance anxiety.”

“Why would you be a smartass to the fucking devil?” I groan, wishing I could slap the hell out of him.

Gage’s lips tug at one corner, but like Jude, he wipes it away before I can be certain.

“I see,” Lucifer, eerily amused. “During forty-seven summons all four of you had performance anxiety?” he adds, returning the smartassery with a touch of fuck-you-little-turds.

“It’s a problem. We’re working on it,” Kai says in an assuring tone.

“Just so you know, I’m almost positive I can’t protect you from the damn devil,” I point out.

I’m going to kill all of them.

Still, Lucifer manages to maintain his humored expression.

“I only got a glimpse of two of you, and I’m not certain what you did. Care to try and explain it to me? Because I quite feel like you’re being underutilized and pointlessly tested in these trials.”

“There’s not any real way to explain it, since we’re not entirely certain what we’re doing,” Jude says with a shrug. “We just know how to kill. We like it topside, but we’d like to earn access to this plane as well.”

“I’m sure you would,” Lucifer says, stroking his jaw thoughtfully. “It’s the best of both worlds to remain topside with all the perks of hell. Clearly if you had too much power, we’d have to bring you down below, since it’d be against our law to leave that much of the world unbalanced with dark influence.”

“We never really died, so we have no dark influence, since our souls are still whole,” Jude immediately points out.

Lucifer actually looks both surprised and intrigued by that confession. “Well, that certainly is another kind of imbalance, but not one that breaks any laws. And a very interesting turn of events,” he goes on, his grin spreading.

The guys weirdly seem to be tenser now that the devil seems pleased.

“But I’m afraid I do need to learn what your powers are so we can categorize you. If for any reason you’re stronger than you should be on the surface, I’ll take into account you have no dark influence. I’m sure we can come to some sort of agreement.”

They all look wary now.

Lucifer gets closer to Jude, the amusement falling from his face so smoothly, as though it was an illusion all along despite how genuine it appeared. The ease of the transition chills me to the bone.

“The thing is, you somehow penetrated the notoriously impenetrable chest of a guard. Not that you’d know that. Surface guardians aren’t privy to such knowledge, which is why you never once thought about exposing yourself.”