Four Psychos

Kai flips him off, and I give Jude a dubious look, even as I flicker in and out of flesh, working even harder to force it back this time.

“If it is a long-lasting issue, which I highly doubt, we’ll find out how long you can be without me, and I’ll return at the end of that span. No touching during those times,” I quickly add. “My body like this works just fine in reeling you in from that mad edge. We can go on without ever crossing a line again, and I can be loyal to my one true love.”

“I’m sure he’d be just fine with you coming to see your real-girl-christening quad every so often so we can get our fix,” Kai states flatly.

They truly are exasperating.

“I rescind the offer. You’re making it too complicated.”

I turn to leave, and Gage darts in front of me, passing through me, and causing me to lose my hold for a moment.

He immediately pins me against the wall, and for the first time, I feel trapped, unable to simply pass through him. His eyes drift over my face as he lifts a hand and fingers a lock of my hair.

His other hand fists against the wall like it’s taking a concentrated amount of effort not to touch me in any other way. I finally manage to force the form back, and his hand slips through my body, ghosting those tingles throughout me that has me straining twice as hard.

I stay in my place, even as he continues to loom over me.

“Uncomplicate it,” he says, even though it looks like he hates the words.

“I know nothing else about this world than the four of you. Outside of my fantasies, I don’t even know what goals are to be had. I’m asking you to take care of me in all ways, and ease me out there. I can’t tell you how many times I was tempted to give into the fade, to stop fighting so hard for so little. I didn’t survive this long just to fall into the world with blinders on and get myself killed before I get to live. The tradeoff is me and my devout protection, though as I said, you’re protected regardless.”

“Sounds very meager as far as comparisons go. If you’re protecting us regardless, despite the fact we’ve survived just fine for many, many years without you, then all we really get is to sex you up and fulfill your fantasies,” Jude states dryly.

A hint of a grin forms on my lips.

“Gage was only with Ezekiel. They could have both taken me, if you know what I mean,” I state with dark humor in my eyes.

Kai’s smile falters, and Jude’s eyes narrow.

“I could have had her too, and there was no one in the room besides me,” Kai grinds out, cracking his neck to the side.

I hold Jude’s gaze as I remind him, “You can’t have any other girl without each other in the room. Except me. You can have me individually, and share when you want to share. That’s the tradeoff.”

His entire expression blanks, like he doesn’t want me to see anything in his eyes or his features to clue me in on where his mind goes. Kai shoves Gage away, taking his place as he gets in front of me.

“What’s my incentive if you’re icing me out?” he asks coldly.

“Work for it, and who knows, maybe I’ll let you have me too,” I say with a false bravado that wavers on the end.

Sheesh, he’s really gorgeous when that intense stare is on you because he wants what he can’t have. It has me questioning just how weak I might actually be once this thing gets started.

He pushes off. “I’m not in,” Jude finally says with a shrug. “Individually, we’ll get greedy, selfish, even combative. Look at what happened to E. I say we stick to how things have been, and you learn not to be in front of us in flesh. Otherwise, we’ll ask you to leave permanently. If you stay, that precious life of yours might just end before it truly begins.”

It’s always Jude who cuts the deepest. I’m not sure why I keep expecting anything else.

It’s like it sobers all of them, and I see the renewed determination in their eyes.

“Then we go on as we have been. Stay out of my room,” I say tightly.

“Don’t tell us where you’ll be,” Kai groans, raking a hand over his face. “We don’t do well with temptation.”

“Fine.”

I zap myself to the basement where they never go, and finally stagger in my new physical form, collapsing to a couch. I had pla

I also had no idea this level of exhaustion could exist.

If I’m a gift from Lilith, that means I lose something each time I earn something new. What if I have to fight this form more and more to keep my untouchable one? Or what if I lose something else that has been instrumental to my survival?

The comfort that encompasses me when I snuggle up with a blanket has me smiling despite the ache they left in my stomach. My life has revolved around them for so long, that I’m truly quite worried I won’t know how to exist without them.

And they’re never going to do more than tolerate me.

This snuggly blanket really is a miracle cure for staving off stupid tears.

When my stomach suddenly growls, I’m very freaking distracted from all thoughts of guys. It growls again, and a pang accompanies it.

Then a slow grin spreads across my face as I glance to the basement kitchenette, staring at the fridge. Though they never actually come down here and stay down here, they do use that fridge for storing leftovers a lot.

In the next instant, I’m wobbling on unsteady legs all the way to the fridge. As I’m scrambling to pull out a box of pizza, a thought occurs to me.

It might have been a little harder for them to turn down the offer if I had been wearing something sexier than the Pinocchio outfit.

My mind turns to mush when I bite into the pizza, feeling something so satisfying ignite in my mouth with a touch of surprise and savoring flavor. A little cold on the teeth, which I hadn’t anticipated, since I’ve never felt cold before.

Yet I know what it is, so I can assume I’ve felt cold and forgotten it. Even the pizza seems familiar, in a unique, sensory sort of way.

It almost startles me when I realize that the moan in the room is coming from me. If pizza is making me moan, then I can only imagine what it would feel like to have an orgasm.

Pizza still in my mouth, I touch my stomach, feeling a grin light my features as a surge of excitement bursts through me.

I can touch myself.

I practically inhale the rest of the pizza, then grab a glass of water to choke it all down as fast as I can. It’s not pretty, but it sure as hell works.

I try to make my clothes change, but it doesn’t happen. So I just tear them off and toss them aside, still working on unsteady legs.

I drop back down to the couch, my hand trembling as I slide it down my body. Even my touch is almost too much. My memory from the first time Ezekiel was watered down by my mind to keep me from missing it so much.

My mind goes back to all the women they asked to do this so they could watch. It sounds creepier than it is.

It was actually really hot.

And informative.

Half of it is immediate instinct when my fingers brush over the very sensitive clit I completely underestimated. My eyes flutter shut, and those fantasies flash through my mind.

In my head, they said yes, and Ezekiel is already starting me out by sucking my nipples.

I use my free hand to try and mimic how I think it might feel, and it’s like a shot to my lower body. Biting down on my lip so as not to make too much noise, I start slow circles, imagining Gage’s face between my thighs as he works that glorious mouth of his on me.