Shift

13

Bailey thinks I’m nuts. Maybe I am. I’ve been an emotional wreck since my birthday, since Dustin gave me that stupid chime and I got this idea that maybe we’re some great destined couple, like the fantasy that plays out in my head. It’s only gotten worse as I’ve let my guard down and allowed him to completely consume me. I thought I was doing the same to him, but I guess that was just me being a silly girl.

The chime isn’t stupid. I take that thought back, Universe.

I thought I would be okay with the secrecy. It felt necessary to protect what was so new, and my brother has this way of spoiling things for me. But this isn’t new at all. The way I feel about Dustin is something that’s aged within me, grown to be a part of me. I don’t think I would even know how to look at another guy and get the same tingles across my skin. Michael Bosa, for all his frustrating jock-headedness, is a really good-looking guy. He’s hot in that all-American boy way—the typical way that most of the other girls at our school and in this town seem to go nuts over. Tall with muscular arms he puts on display with his ripped-up T-shirts. He’s had the same buzzed haircut since he was eleven, and he’s grown into the military vibe of it, chiseled where chisels are supposed to be and ta

But that’s not who my stupid heart beats for!

I thought Dustin was starting to see me differently, the way I see him. But that’s only in private. I get that we were hiding our relationship from Tommy, but that’s over now. My brother knows; Dustin heard him last night. There’s nothing to hide, and I thought maybe today we could wake up and show the rest of the world the little bit of wonderful we found. But how practical is that? I can’t pretend my parents aren’t going to have the same cautionary advice.

I pace across my room and rip the biggest purple heart from my wall, tearing it in half, leaving an ugly ball of tape and half a heart in its wake.

“Okay, that’s a bit dramatic,” Bailey teases, glancing at me in the mirror as she works to pull her hair back into the strict fashion her mother prefers. From what she knows, this is all about prom and my brother having a date and me not.

“What do you know?” I throw back. Her brows lower, and I feel bad the moment my words hit her ears.

“I’m sorry,” I say, and she waves me off, turning her attention back to her hair. I know she’s hurt, though, so I step in behind her and take over brushing her hair.

“One day, you should let me cut your hair to your chin. You’d look really cute with one of those blunt bobs,” I say, relaxing my hold on her hair and folding it at the base of her neck to mimic the way a bob would look.

Her mouth curves at the look and she turns her head slightly to the right, her eyes flitting to meet mine in the reflection.

“I could so rock that look, huh?” she says.

I nod and lean forward a little to hug her around the shoulders. She grabs my hand as I do and squeezes.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper.

“I know,” she responds, patting the back of my hand.

We both admire the look on her for a few more seconds before making plans to actually follow through with the cut when we go away to college. When it’s too late for her mom to stop us, and when she’s already had her first semester of tuition paid for.

With all things bland and proper recreated on my best friend, we head downstairs so I can walk her home. We’re halfway down the driveway when my brother’s car rolls up toward us, Dustin in the same seat he left in this morning. Tommy pretends to swerve to hit us and Bailey flips him off.

“That’s probably the one untoward thing your mom would be okay with you doing,” I laugh out.

“Oh, when it comes to your brother, I don’t think she has any rules as long as I’m clothed head-to-toe. She’s still not over the fact I wore a swimsuit in front of him last summer.” Bailey rolls her eyes as my brother parks in the side garage.

“It wasn’t even a two piece,” I add.

My friend busts out a snorting laugh.

“Oh, my God, could you imagine me in a bikini?”

I step to the side and glance up and down Bailey’s frame. Truth is, she would own every man in this town if she put on a two piece and took a dip in the town pool. I’m about to shower her in compliments, partly to bait her into trying it sometime, when my attention gets completely sucked away by Dustin’s gaze. Tommy’s already slammed the driver’s door and is busy with something in the back of the garage, but Dustin is lingering, one hand resting on top of the door, the other flat on the roof while his eyes rake over me. His mouth hangs open, as if he’s trying to push out words that will meet my expectations—something sweet or affectionate. Hell, I’d even take an apology for being clueless earlier. Eventually, his mouth snaps shut and my brother makes a noise that draws his eyes the other way. He doesn’t look back again as he shuts the passenger door, and the whole thing pushes me to the most extreme measures.

“Hey, Dusty!” I use that name to scratch at his insides. His relationship with it is part love, part hate, and now I’ve gone and thrown myself into the mixture.

As expected, his shoulders bristle before his head jerks my direction.

“Don’t worry about prom!” I yell. I feel Bailey’s eyes on me, questioning. She’s not subtle sometimes, and I can see her hands out at her sides. “I got a date already!”

Pulse racing from the lie I just uttered, I flex my fingers to signal to my friend that I’ve got this handled. I need her to keep her mouth shut until we’re out of here.

Dustin’s turned to face me completely and he’s moving toward the back of Tommy’s car. His hand drags along the trunk, and everything about his movement reads territorial. This is the single best lie I’ve ever told, and it’s about to get better.

“Someone make you a cute poster board you just couldn’t resist?” His words are touched with humor, but the way he nods at me, his mouth a hard line, teeth clenched so hard I see the movement in his jaw, I know that nothing about this is fu

“Nah, he just asked. I said yes. Simple.” I shrug.

Dustin takes a few steps away from the car and toward me, glancing over his shoulder to where my brother has popped the hood and is distracted. I’m sure Tommy’s listening to all of this. I couldn’t care less.

“I said I’d go,” Dustin says in a loud whisper, leaning toward me.

I lift a brow.

“Again with the romance,” I chide.

His chest deflates a bit as his shoulders slump and he sighs, weight shifting to his heels.

I shrug again.

“You can still go. Just . . . not with me.” I shift my weight so my hip pops out. He wants to ask, but Tommy’s bound to hear us eventually. I’m sure my brother will interject and applaud the idea of me going with anyone else, even though I made it up. I know that’s not what Dustin wants. He’s just afraid. Yeah, maybe some of it’s warranted. He hasn’t had a lot of people in his life actually care about him. But I’ve never wavered. Not when we were friends, and not now that we’re more. He needs to believe that it’s worth it, that Tommy will come around, and that my parents will, too. That it’s not a choice between having a family or having me; he can have it all.