Shift

“You raise your prices on that douchebag?”

“I sure did,” I say, smiling proudly. Dustin’s thumb lands on my lips as they curve, and I close my eyes again at the feel of it tracing along my mouth. My lips part, kissing his thumb first then his wrist as his hand snakes its way into my hair. His warm lips find my forehead a second later.

“Thanks, Ha

I grip a handful of his T-shirt and slink my way up a few inches so our lips meet.

“Didn’t even let the guys at the shop take advantage of me,” I say against his lips. His quiver with a proud, quiet laugh in return.

“Thatta girl.”

He sucks in my top lip, tracing the tender skin with his tongue. I open my mouth for more, and he gives me what I crave, cradling my head in his palm as our mouths collide into a hungrier kiss this time. Nothing is rushed; our movements are soft and silent. There’s something taboo about us, though Tommy seems to see what’s happening despite our efforts to hide it from him.

I nudge his frame as our kiss deepens, wanting to push him to his back so I can hold myself on top of him, feel him under me. Feel what I do to him. With every push I give, though, he pushes back. I know it’s not because of the cut on his stomach. Mom and I cleaned him up and it wasn’t as deep as he thought. Of course, my mom also thinks he snagged his skin on barbed wire while leaving his house, not that his father tried to gut him.

After one more failed attempt to move things further, I grow frustrated and suck his bottom lip hard, letting my teeth graze against his skin as I let go.

“Nobody is coming down here,” I say, more forward and obvious than I want to be, but I have a growing need boiling in my body.

“Maybe,” he says, his hands cupping my face, thumbs sweeping my hair from my eyes. He brings our foreheads together and I can tell by the way the air slowly escapes through his nose while his shoulders remain tense that he heard Tommy’s warning.

“My brother doesn’t understand,” I say. Long seconds pass without a response, and I regret saying anything at all. Eventually, though, Dustin’s lips brush against mine, peppering me with soft kisses while he seems to think.

“He’s just being Tommy,” he finally settles on. I shift to put space between our faces, to adjust my sight enough to stare into his eyes. His long lashes tap his cheeks with a few slow blinks before I catch the slight gleam of his pupils from the room’s dim light.

“I know. But Tommy isn’t us. And I can’t go back to pretending, Dustin. I’ve wanted this—you—for a really long time, and I’m tired of pretending I don’t.” My breath stops with the last word and my throat burns from honesty.

More slow blinks mark the face of this boy I crave, nearly a man but so far from grown up. He needs someone to care for him so badly, and I need him to let me.

His eyes close and he brings our foreheads together again, several breaths passing between us before he finally speaks.

“I feel exactly the same, Ha

I’m somehow both settled and terrified at his words. I choose to hold them close and think of them as precious, and I choose to hold on to him for a few minutes longer, at least until he’s fallen asleep.