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Ivy
I don’t know what came over me earlier. I hadn’t intended to call Gabriel out on everything. Hadn’t intended to lose my shit and practically scream in his face.
But it was like it all boiled over and I couldn’t hold it in anymore. Years of feeling this way festered to the surface.
Hating him.
Fighting him.
Chasing him.
And in some weird way loving him.
It all shot to the top in a blur of memories and emotions, the words I’ve always wanted to say rushing out before I could stuff them back in.
The entire time, Gabriel stared at me like I was a stranger. Someone he doesn’t know or even care about.
He only wanted me to behave.
To be subdued.
To be somebody I’m not.
Do you know how frustrating that is? There I was, begging him to be the real person I know that he is, and his response was to ask me to wear a mask just like him. To pretend. To hide myself.
That hurt the worst, I think.
I gave him the chance to finally show himself on purpose. I dropped my walls and was honest for once as I tossed it all in his face. And all he could do was stay silent while I practically begged him to see the truth of who we are and have always been.
All I’m asking for is him.
And his only response was to reject me.
He truly has no idea.
But I couldn’t take the silence anymore.
I turned to walk away, my shoulders weighed down with failure, my tears still fighting to fall.
And he let me.
He didn’t care.
He was happy I agreed to be someone I’m not.
So I gave him what he wanted. I sat there. I let Ta
Even that doesn’t make him happy.
The only choice I have is to walk away.
Everything I’ve done.
Everything I’ve risked.
It’s all for nothing.
I’ve done a lot of stupid things in life. I’ve made a lot of stupid decisions. But the worst mistake I’ve ever made is believing that Gabriel could ever change. My worst mistake was holding on to him with the hope he would one day drop the mask.
I’m walking away again, and I’m almost to the door when he finally speaks and says the last thing I expect him to admit.
“That’s not what I want.”
Gabriel’s voice is so quiet that I’m not even sure I heard him right.
My feet pause, my fingers sliding over the handle of the door.
I shake my head and think I imagined it, so I move again to open the door.
Gabriel rushes forward to slam his hand against the wood and shut it.
I feel the heat of him against my back, tremble when he lowers his head to speak next to my ear.
“Did you hear me?”
There is so much anger in his voice. Frustration. Pain. It fucking pains him to admit the truth of his thoughts. It pains me to hear it.
Letting out a shaky breath, I say, “I thought I was imagining it.”
Silence beats between us, but he doesn’t move and neither do I.
“Damn it, Ivy. You know what I said.”
Refusing to look back at him, I close my eyes and vacillate between screaming at him again or letting him speak.
We’re frozen in place, hesitant to confront the issue that is blazing like a spotlight in our faces.
What do we want?
What can we give?
Is it possible to cross the enemy line we’ve always drawn to be what we always should have been?
“What don’t you want?” I ask, my voice a shaky whisper.
Gabriel’s mouth brushes my ear, breath hot against my skin.
“I don’t want you to behave. I can’t stand it when you pretend to be someone you’re not.”
My lips curl to hear it while sorrow douses my heart.
“That’s fu
Gabriel’s hand grips my hip, his fingers latching down so hard that I gasp.
My forehead falls against the door as he tugs my ass against his body. When he runs his lips down the centerline of my neck, I shiver at how soft they are.
It’s like having a powder keg standing behind me, the threat of violence ready to explode. I can feel his hesitation in the grip of his hand, can feel the tension of his restraint.
Just cross the line, I think, but I say nothing.
If Gabriel is ever going to let go, he needs to be the one who decides it.
Eventually his mouth moves to the nape of my neck, lips pressed against the skin.
For a moment, I think he’ll release me and walk away, that he’ll pull that mask back on because it’s what he always does. That he’ll demand I behave.
But then the powder keg explodes, the line finally crossed as he spins me to face him, and his mouth collides with mine.
We become the storm at that moment, a mess of teeth and tongues, of hatred and need, of violence that swirls with everything we’ve felt for each other but we’re too stubborn to admit.
We’re exploding and imploding all at the same time. Shedding our masks. Laying down our weapons. Wiping the line from the sand that has always been our battleground.
Gabriel’s hand slides to the cheek of my ass to lift me up, my legs wrapping around his waist as my fingers dive into his hair, and I pull him tighter into the kiss.
Breathing isn’t necessary because he has always been my air. The influence that gives me life. The man who painted all my colors and showed me who I am.
Even if he never knew it.
Even if I’ve never admitted the truth of what I felt.
Gabriel’s biceps bunch as he yanks me from the door and carries me to the large couch in the center of the room, my back pressed against the soft leather as his hips spread my legs apart, his hand sliding up the back of my thigh.
Fingertips drag red trails up my skin, and I squirm at the desperation I feel in him. I don’t care about the marks. He can carve his damn name in my skin if that’s what he wants.
Take it all, I think. It’s always been there for you to grab onto...
Breaking our kiss, he presses his forehead to mine, green eyes trapping me in place so full of heat they’re liquid.
“How do you do this to me?” he growls, and I tremble beneath the rough edge of his voice.
I blink up at him, heavy breath beating quickly over my lips.
“Do what?”
“Take away my control? You’ve always done it.”
His fingers clamp down on my leg harder, my eyes fluttering closed because I don’t know what to say, don’t know what to feel.
All I know is I need him to run that hand up higher and show me what I do to him.
“Show me,” I breathe out. “Just show yourself to me for once.”
The last thread of hesitation snaps, and Gabriel gives me everything.
His mouth claims mine again, and he shoves my skirt up to my hips with one hand while peeling the thin strap of my dress off my shoulder with the other.
Gabriel’s teeth sink into my bottom lip, his hand still dragging the top of my dress down until it’s a bundle of fabric covering my abdomen, a thin barrier lost as he takes everything I’ve always been willing to give him.
A masculine sound rattles in his chest as his hand locks over my breast, his thumb circling the nipple before he dips his head down to suck it into his mouth so hard that my head falls back and electricity shoots like a line down to my core.
I’m fighting to drag his shirt off his body, and he’s shoving my panties down my legs.