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He smiled sadly. “It’s not that I don’t want you. Hopefully, one day you’ll visit, and things will be back to normal. But for now, you need to be somewhere that hasn’t watched you two grow up and already have their perceived realities.”
“There are no perceived realities.” I growled. “There’s nothing going on. We are brother and sister. No more. No less.”
John backed toward the door with a wise smile that irritated and angered me. “Realities can change. I’m not blind. I’ve seen what’s gone on over the years with you and Cassie. I never spoke up because out of all the boyfriends she’s had, you were a good influence on her. But I also know it’ll break her heart when she wakes up to find you gone tomorrow.”
I glanced toward the farmhouse as if I could see through walls and witness Cassie asleep in her bed. “I didn’t mean—”
“I know you didn’t.” He held up his hand. “But that’s just who you are, Ren. You care about others so much they feel incredibly special. You give them the clothes off your back. You donate every pe
“You’re wrong.” Guilt squeezed. “I was never that kind to Cassie. And I’m only generous to Della because it’s my fault she has no parents—”
“I don’t believe that. It sounds as though Della is lucky you took her that night. Her parents are monsters. And you treated Cassie better than most. Don’t let that weigh you down. You’re a good kid, Ren.” He crossed the threshold, shuffling with reluctant steps. “But if I can give you any word of advice for the next few years of raising Della, I would say let her trip up occasionally. Pull back. Let her make mistakes. Let her know you’re there for her but don’t be her everything. Do that, and this passing phase will be just that—a phase. But if you don’t…you’ll have trouble.”
I stepped toward him, desperate for guidance, while at the same time, wanting to run from any future problems. I just wanted her normal. I wanted things to be normal between us. There was no doubt in my mind that I would find her; even now, the urge to chase built every second until I struggled to stay in one spot.
But this was one of those moments that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up with importance. I hadn’t been guided in my role as a guardian, and so far, I’d managed to keep her alive but not enforce the rules she badly needed.
I looked up to John, and if he wanted to share a piece of wisdom, then I wanted to listen. “What sort of trouble?” I asked softly. “What am I doing wrong?”
“You’re not doing anything wrong. You’re doing everything right. Too right. So right, in fact, you’re giving her an unrealistic view of the male sex, and when she starts dating, the only person she’ll have to compare them to is you, and she’ll find them lacking every time.” He smiled kindly. “Show her you’re human, that you have flaws and a temper just like everyone else. Otherwise…”
“Otherwise what?”
“She won’t just use you as an experiment next time. She’ll fall in love with you and everything you’ve built together will vanish because you won’t permit her to want you and she won’t be able to keep living with something she can’t have. You’ll break apart, and the surname that links you together as surely as mine does to my wife and children will mean nothing.”
He pulled the door to behind him, granting final words that stopped my heart. “Figure out a way to keep her as your sister, Ren. Otherwise, you won’t have her at all.”
* * * * *
I left Cherry River with far less than I arrived with.
I had no Della, no flu, no backpack, no tent.
All I had was an envelope of cash tucked safely in my waistband with two t-shirts on, a thick jumper, and my winter jacket. In my pockets, I had a spare set of underwear and socks, and on my head, a beanie with sunglasses perched for all types of seasons I might encounter.
John’s words kept me company as I crunched down their gravel driveway one last time, turned in the direction my heart tugged me—all the while hoping it was the right choice to find Della—and never looked back.
I struck off into a jog.
My mind locked on finding my runaway Ribbon.
I didn’t say goodbye.