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CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
REN
* * * * * *
2013
DELLA.
Every single part of my life, she was there.
Every single memory, she was in.
Every single achievement and ability, she was responsible for.
And now, she was the reason my heart was broken as I stood in an empty bedroom without her.
She’d gone.
She’d left.
Where, I didn’t know.
For how long, I couldn’t be sure.
Would she come back?
Should I stay or hunt for her?
What was the right thing to do?
My hands balled as a crippling wash of loneliness, despair, and confusion threatened to drown me.
How could she do this?
How could she rip apart our world and then run the moment I’d put it back together again?
How could she turn her back on me when I’d stood before the Wilsons and done my best to repair everything?
For the past few years, Della had spent her evenings teaching me spelling and multiplication and science. She’d traded the knowledge I’d bought her and gave me hours upon hours of her time.
She was selfless.
She didn’t care about hanging out with girls her own age. She ignored the cell phone John and Patricia insisted she had and preferred to check my answers on tests she’d already aced, rather than respond to teenage texts.
Every night, I’d been gruff with her. I’d been impatient to learn faster. I’d been frustrated at her mercy and taken her tutorage, not with utmost gratefulness, but with tense irritation that my inadequacy stole more of her childhood.
Even though I sat stiff and surly through most of the lessons, it didn’t stop my eyes from settling on her bent head or my fingers from itching to sweep away her hair so I could see her face.
I was in utter awe of her—in absolute wonder that my best friend was so smart, so capable, so perfect.
And that was the only reason I’d been able to hide most of my frustration and smile when she graded my division skills and laugh when she critiqued my sentence structures.
I’d never been more thankful for that gift as I’d stood before John, Patricia, and Cassie Wilson. I’d held my head high, able to use words I knew how to spell and give explanations I knew how to deliver, ripping apart their trust.
They’d welcomed us into their home under one condition. One measly condition, and I’d shattered it.
My lips still seared from hers. My dream still tainted my reality. Thanks to Della, I’d just had my world snatched away, all the while, she was the reason I was no longer an illiterate farmhand.
Pushing her out of my mind, I’d focused on ensuring this mess didn’t ruin her future.
I’d make sure she had a better future.
One with firmer boundaries.
One that I didn’t screw up.
John stood with his arms crossed, his maroon plaid pyjamas severe as a prison sentence. His wife stood with furious dots on her cheeks, and Cassie stared at me as if I was a stranger, hugging herself with white-knuckled fists.
No one spoke, but the air was heavy with condemnation. The phone rested in Patricia’s hand either used to call the police or still waiting. Either way, I’d run out of time, so I said the only thing that mattered.
“She isn’t my sister.”
Cassie’s mouth fell open, followed by her mother’s.
John cleared his throat as if he hadn’t been expecting such a confession. “Pardon me?”
I stood straighter, shoving aside the lies we’d told. “I did run away from a farm that bought children for labour. I did raise Della since she was a baby. Those weren’t lies. And I do love her, with all my heart, but our last name isn’t Wild and we’re not related.”
John scowled. “I…don’t understand.”
“She was the daughter of the people who bought me. Their name was Mclary. I don’t know where their farm is. I don’t know how much they paid for me or what my surname was before I was just Ren. Della was theirs. She was born the night after my finger was cut off for stealing food, and somehow, when I finally got the guts to run away, she was in the backpack I’d prepared with meagre supplies. I didn’t mean to steal her. In fact, I tried to leave her with a family because I knew I would be no good as a parental figure. But…I went back for her. I took her with me, and I’ve kept it a secret ever since.”
I stepped back, withdrawing myself from their world. “I know what you must think of me, but I never meant for this to happen. I don’t know why she kissed me, and I definitely didn’t condone it. She’ll be disciplined, and I’ll ensure she has better rules because I think it’s time I left. She needs parents, like you, not a kid who doesn’t know what he’s doing. I’m not telling you this to excuse what happened. I’m as disgusted as you are. But I am telling you the truth, so you know how real I am when I say I’m sorry. You have enough information to ruin my life. I’m sure I’m wanted by the police. Della’s been missing for twelve years…if her parents even care she’s gone. Who knows? They might’ve been arrested for buying kids for all I know. But what I do know is, I love Della. I’ve loved her since I stole her. But that’s all it is. I’ve never touched her. I’ve never kissed her inappropriately. I’ve never thought of her in any way apart from family. She might not be my sister, but I love her as one. And under no circumstances will I allow her to forget that, ever again.”
Silence fell, heavier but friendlier than before.
Cassie was the first one to speak. “The brand on your hip. The one you said they put there. It has MC before the number…for Mclary, right?”
I gritted my teeth, cursing that permanent reminder. “Yes.”
“And you swear on your life you’ve never done anything else? Never been tempted? Never gone too far in that one bedroom in the barn?” Her eyes blazed with distrust. “That kiss was the first and the last?”
I thudded a fist over my heart. “I promise on my life.”
A thick pause settled around us, cushioning the night.
“I believe you,” Patricia finally murmured. “I hear the honesty in what you’re saying.”
I nodded gratefully. “I’m sorry.”
She shook her head kindly. “Nothing to be sorry for. She’s young. Just like the day I caught her and Liam naked, she’s merely exploring her sexuality and confused on where desire fit in.”
I swallowed hard, refusing to let the word desire anywhere near the thought of Della.
John stepped forward, his face weary and wrinkled. “I think you better go. It’s late. We’ll all get some rest and deal with this in the morning.”
“I can’t sleep in that bedroom, sir.” My voice thickened with urgency. “I…I can’t stay here. I need to leave. That’s why I’m here. I need you to take care of Della. I’ll find another job. I’ll pay for her upkeep. But—” I glanced at Cassie’s whose eyes glassed with tears. “I don’t think it’s fair for me to continue trying to be her role model when I’m obviously failing.”
“You can’t go,” Cassie whispered. “That’s just stupid.”
“I…I don’t think I have a choice,” I whispered back, wishing I could offer sympathy but sensing that to touch her now would be the worst mistake of my life. I’d always known something deeper lurked beneath Cassie’s sweet affection and fierce tumbles in the hay. She pretended it was just casual sex between us, but occasionally, I’d catch that look in her eyes. The one she was giving me now. The look that petrified me because Della gave me the same look, only i