Страница 81 из 138
Her words and thick invitation sent more blood pumping to my cock.
Normally, I could ignore the punching, clawing desire, but this time, I almost buckled beneath it.
I struggled for a reason we couldn’t do this. Any reason. I wouldn’t tell her I’d jerked off to images of sex too, but she wasn’t the one who starred in my daydreams. Some faceless female always did. Someone blonde and kind who didn’t mind my inexperience.
And the fact that my ideal partner was blonde just ate more chunks away at my soul because how fucking disgusting was I to want an older version of Della.
Not that I wanted an older version of her.
But I liked blonde hair.
And I liked kindness.
And I wanted so fucking much to fuck something, but I didn’t want to support more kids. I had no idea how Cassie had sex with so many men and never once got pregnant.
Maybe she was infertile.
And if she was, she was lucky she was human and not a sheep or cow; otherwise, her usefulness of reproducing would be replaced by the slaughterhouse and she’d end up on someone’s plate.
“Are you going to say something?” She paced in front of me, her breasts high and tempting, her steps short and full of the same urgent wanting I suffered with.
I clenched my hands as the need to squeeze my tortured cock almost overrode my brain. “What about Kevin or Calvin or whatever his name was.”
“Gavin and I broke up.”
My eyebrows rose. “When?”
“Tonight. Bastard was cheating on me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, well.” She blew hair out of her eyes. “I wasn’t interested in him anymore anyway.”
“Oh.”
Stagnant desire turned the stables full of festering appetite.
Knowing she was single again shouldn’t add more fever to my already out of control yearning…but it did. I took a step toward her, only to take it back again as her eyes latched onto mine with a cat-like gleam and lick of her lips.
“There you go again,” she moaned. “You want me. I know you do.” Looking over her shoulder toward the door where Della slept, she did something she’d never done before.
I’d seen every part of her but only in glimpses and only with buttons undone or zippers half-mast. I’d never seen her fully naked.
But I saw her now as she tore off her nightgown and stood bare before me.
I swallowed hard, unsuccessfully silencing a desperate groan.
“See, you do want me.” She walked toward me, her hips swaying, breasts bouncing, and wetness glinting on her i
I scrambled backward as another flush of rebellious lust made me so damn hungry I almost forgot how to fight it. “Can’t.”
“Yes, you can.”
I shook my head as fast as I could. “You’ll get pregnant.”
She froze. “Wait…what?”
Shit.
Her tone layered me with self-consciousness. I hadn’t meant to say anything. I shouldn’t have said anything.
But Cassie's face lit up and her edginess melted into the kindness I needed. “Is that why you’ve refused me all this time? Refused my friends? Never once tried to fuck me? Oh, wow, you think I’ll get pregnant if we do?”
Her questions could’ve been condescending and cruel, but they weren’t. Cassie was intricate and had two distinct sides. One side was all about her and she could be harsh without thought, yet the other was sweet and doting. And when it was activated, she could be an angel sent from above.
“Wait here.” She scooped her nightgown off the floor, shook away the hay strands, and slipped it back over her head. “Don’t go anywhere. I mean it.” Slipping from the stable, she pointed a finger in my face. “I mean it, Ren. If you vanish, I’m going to tell everyone what a great lay you are and set up a revolving door of women. Won’t that be torture for you?”
She vanished before I could admit that that would be my worst nightmare to have so many delectable beauties and not be allowed to touch a single one.
Not that she would do that…would she?
I had no idea why I stayed in that stable, standing deathly still in the dark and nursing an agonizing erection, but I did.
I didn’t move to put my shorts on.
I didn’t move to return to Della.
No way in hell could I climb into a bed beside her in this state anyway.
I either had to make myself come or think such gruesome thoughts that it went away.
Thanks to Mclary, I had more than enough gruesome thoughts to deflate myself—just a glance at my missing finger or many memories of our living conditions was enough, but before I’d been able to delete a tenth of my lust, soft footsteps sounded on cobbles and Cassie slipped back into the barn.
She didn’t have anything.
She didn’t look any different.
It didn’t mean she was any less confident as she entered the stable with her chin high and nipples still pebbled.
“Come with me.” Taking my hand, she gently led me toward a pile of horse blankets that had been dumped there last winter. Pushing me down, she held out her hand and revealed a tiny silver packet. “I can’t believe you don’t know about these things but…this is called a condom. It stops any sexually transmitted diseases and removes about ninety-five percent of risk of unwanted pregnancies.”
She’d just talked witchcraft, but all I could focus on was the word disease. I didn’t have a clue what sort of diseases you could catch through sex. Maybe it was another version of chicken pox, which I definitely didn’t want.
I managed to keep my mouth shut about that, but I couldn’t about the other fact. I stupidly asked, “Why only ninety-five percent?”
She sighed. “Not sure. I guess if you nick it with your teeth or fingernails or if it’s not held down when you disengage. Who knows? My point is…you can fuck me. No more excuses. I’m actually on the pill, and you’re clean, seeing as I’ll be your first time, but you should learn how to use one of these for the future, and I want to teach you.” She smiled softly. “I’ve enjoyed teaching you over the years.”
I looked away, my mind racing.
Pill and clean and condoms…she spoke a different language. Pill for what? Clean from what? But my brain had relocated to my cock, and it’d just been given a free pass to proceed.
No more fear of pregnancy.
No Della spying in the shadows.
No reason to say no.
Grabbing the hem of her nightgown, Cassie once again switched clothing for nakedness, and I no longer had any arguments not to feast my eyes on her flesh or allow the quaking desire to gather between my legs.
“I want you, Ren,” she murmured. “Do you want me?”
This time, there was no debate.
I nodded, licking my lips and reaching for her from where I sat on the blankets.
“Oh, thank God.” Kneeling before me, not caring about her knees on cold stones, she tore the tiny packet and pulled out something slimy and small. “This is going to feel a little strange, and you can’t come while I put it on because I only brought one, got it?”
I bit my lip as she came closer, doing my best to control my trembling and the bobbing of my overeager cock.
Shifting the condom in her hands, she fisted me and pressed it on my tip.
She was right.
It did feel weird.
Weird good.
Weird strange.
Weird ‘holy crap I don’t know how I’m going to be able to control myself.’
It took her an eternity to roll the slippery thing down my length, and when she’d finally finished, my vision was half-cross-eyed, and I panted as if I’d run to the paddocks and back.