Страница 77 из 138
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
REN
* * * * * *
2008
“DO YOU WANT me to talk to her?”
I hugged myself against what Patricia Wilson just told me. “No. I can deal with it.”
How, I had no clue?
I had a mind to spank her. To pull her dress up like she’d done today and smack her bare backside until she understood that being naked around boys was never going to be an option for her.
I groaned under my breath, rubbing my face and trying to rid the images Patricia had put there.
Liam and Della.
Naked under the willow tree.
Kissing.
Goddammit, how the hell did I deal with this? She was eight, for God’s sake, not eighteen. It had never crossed my mind that she would be like me and start seeking answers to her feelings inside. I’d been older than her when my first urges appeared, and I’d had the benefit of already knowing that two animals climbing on top of one another equalled a baby a few months later.
I knew that lesson so well, it was the main reason I hadn’t let Cassie tempt me any further than fingers and tongues.
I did not want a baby.
I already had one.
And I’d ruined her by keeping information away from her.
Keeping my eyes downcast, I mumbled, “They didn’t…have sex, did they?” I winced, already dreading her answer. The thought of someone touching Della, even if it was Liam, made things inside me hiss and howl.
Did that mean Della was pregnant just like the Mclary’s ewes after one visit with his ram? And if she was, how the hell would we deal with this? How the hell would I get over the sick feeling inside?
“No, nothing like that. It was just kids being kids.” Patricia shook her head, clutching a tea towel stained with berry juice from making jam. “They’re curious, and it’s my fault that I left the talk with Liam so long. I’ll sit him down tonight and make sure he understands everything about sex and body parts and make sure it never happens again.”
The minute I’d come in from the fields, Patricia had asked me to share a cup of coffee with urgent things to discuss.
I’d wanted to refuse.
It’d been a long day, and I suffered a little of heatstroke and wanted shade, cold water, and quiet in that order.
But now, Della had screwed up my plans by being as loose as Cassie was.
Perhaps, I better pack a bag right now and leave.
If Cassie’s tendencies were rubbing off on Della, no way would we stay here. No way would I stand by and let her open her legs for the local boys and riff-raff in this town.
No fucking way.
My nostrils flared as my temper grew hotter.
The thought of it.
The images.
God—
Patricia noticed, standing up and moving into the sugary-smelling kitchen. “It’s not the end of the world, Ren, and I’ll gladly talk to Della as well as Liam. I’ve got a book with illustrations. I’m not embarrassed to answer any questions she might have.”
My heart pounded.
A book?
I still couldn’t read very well.
How the hell was I supposed to teach Della from a book?
As much as the thought of talking to her petrified me—worse than any farm incident or even a Social Services visit—I couldn’t allow myself to pass the responsibility onto Patricia.
Della was my problem.
I’d deal with her.
“Like I said, I’ll take care of it.” Stalking toward the back door, my hand barely wrapped around the handle before Patricia said, “Be gentle on her, Ren. She’s not being naughty. She’s being a young girl transforming into a woman.”
Great. All the things I’m not equipped to deal with.
Moving toward an overflowing bookcase by the fireplace, Patricia pulled a book free with a title in green and a man and woman smiling on the cover. “This is the book and has graphic pictures and explanations.” She practically had to force it into my hand, patting my knuckles as she moved away. “She wants to know what her body is going through. She needs to be prepared for when her breasts start growing and pubic hair starts appearing and periods start hurting.”
“Right.” I wrenched open the door, desperate to get away from words like periods and pubic.
I’d only just recently found out about periods myself thanks to Cassie turning into a dragon at certain times of the month. At first, I had no clue why she was such a bitch, but she wasn’t afraid to discuss what happened to her body or the by-product of not getting pregnant every month.
I knew animals came into season, but I’d never seen them bleed if they weren’t mated.
Frankly, humans grossed me out, and I didn’t want to know any more about it.
“Send her to me if it gets too much!” Patricia called after me as I jogged across the driveway to the barn and our one bedroom.
I waved once as I disappeared into the hay-scented building and prepared to do something I was woefully unprepared to do.
* * * * *
I found her curled up on the bed, her back against the headboard, her arms wrapped around her legs, her dress wrapped tight and tucked into her feet, and her face buried against her knees.
Her whole posture screamed ‘leave me alone’, and that was exactly what I wanted to do, but I had a job, and I couldn’t rest until I’d done it.
She looked so young.
Far too young for what she’d done.
But she was the same age as the girls that Mclary would abuse.
The same age to know that her body was fragile when a man wanted it for his own pleasure.
The same age to be protected at all costs.
Images of her naked and kissing Liam exploded back into my head, and my temper that’d been steadily simmering overflowed.
Marching forward, I growled. “What the hell were you thinking, Della?”
She burrowed deeper into her dress-wrapped knees, not replying.
Tossing the book onto the covers beside her, I paced at the end of the bed. “Do you have any idea what you could’ve done? Do you know what happens when a man takes from a girl? Do you know how badly you could’ve been hurt? What are you trying to do? Give me a goddamn heart attack? You’re a kid! You don’t need to know about sex or babies or—”
Her head popped up, tears staining her face and matching anger red on her cheeks. “I’m not a kid. I’m eight years old. I do want to know about babies and kissing and—”
“You know what kissing is. We kiss all the time.” I breathed hard, trying to get myself in check. “Kissing is a way to show love for each—”
“But you don’t love Cassie, and you kiss her more than you kiss me. You kiss her with your tongue!”
My jaw dropped. “When have you seen me do that?”
I’d been so fucking careful.
I’d made sure Cassie never surprised me around Della. If Cassie kissed me in front of her, it was simple and i
“I’m not stupid. I know if I wake up sometimes and you’re not here that you’re off kissing her. I know where to find you. It’s not hard. I’ve seen you touch her…” She gulped. “You know…down there. I’ve seen her kiss you…down there. I’ve seen so many things, and the kids at school tried to explain it to me but no one seems to know and it’s making me so mad not to know and I’m sad that I’m stupid and I’m angry that you don’t want to tell me and now I’m wondering if you actually love her more than you love me because you let her kiss you in more places and it hurts so much and I’m so confused—” Her rush with no punctuation or pauses ended as she burst into tears, wedging her face back into the wet patch already on her dress.