The boy and his ribbon

I’d seen her changing. I’d watched her transform from sweet girl to stu

I would always be hers, but I couldn’t be what she was looking for. I couldn’t block her from growing into who she needed to become. I couldn’t put my own hopes and dreams onto her and read between lines that weren’t really there, hoping that there might be some way, some chance, that our friendship could be something more.

Something that wasn’t sick and twisted.

Something that wasn’t morally wrong.

“Let’s go to bed. It’s been a long night. We can finish this in the morning.” I wanted a truce, a peace treaty until daylight chased away this corruption.

But Della pi

I stumbled back as she tossed the scrap of material to the floor and stood naked before me.

My heart hissed with possession. My body hardened with need. And my eyes feasted on curves and shadows of the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen.

I was utterly spellbound and trapped. If she moved toward me, I wouldn’t have been able to run. If she kissed me, I would’ve have been able to stop what I desperately wanted to do.

The end would’ve come in a totally different form.

And who knows where that path would’ve led us.

But she didn’t chase.

She didn’t try.

Instead, she held her head high as if proving to herself that standing naked before me wasn’t as poignant as she’d believed. That it wasn’t anything special when it was the most special thing in the world.

My heart cramped with so many things as she planted her hands on her hips, pi

I couldn’t breathe as she added, “You know…for so long I was terrified that I’d strip in front of you and you’d scold me like a little girl. That I’d bare everything I’ve become and you wouldn’t see. But the way you’re looking at me…you do see. You see but it’s not enough. It will never be enough.”

Stepping with willow legs and fairy grace, she closed the distance between us and whispered, “I lied you to, Ren. I’ve been lying for years, but this time, this time I’m speaking the truth when I say, I don’t need you anymore. I don’t want you. I can survive without you no matter what life throws my way. Isn’t that what you wanted to hear? To know I’m self-sufficient? That I won’t make your existence any harder than I already have?” Cupping my cheeks, she breathed, “Cherry River was a mistake but not in the way I led you to believe.”

I trembled beneath her hold.

I was so fucking close to snapping.

Her fingers so soft and si

“I made you believe that I kissed you as an experiment and maybe I did, but that wasn’t the real reason.” Her tormented gaze drifted to my mouth. “I kissed you because I wanted to. I deliberately waited until you were asleep to have you—the boy I loved above everyone—give me my first kiss.” She laughed under her breath, tortured and hollow. “Up until tonight, I’d stupidly hoped you’d be the first of so many things. That can never happen now.”

I swallowed back a wash of grief, once again slammed with the knowledge she’d slept with someone else. Someone had been inside her. Someone had loved her who wasn’t me.

I wanted to punish her for that.

I wanted to touch her, kiss her, press her against the fucking wall and screw the consequences, but then I was crushed beneath mental pictures of her naked, back arched, and lips kissed as that bastard traitor from the party thrust inside her.

I stumbled backward, burning beneath hot jealousy. I gulped back every need and looked at her sternly. “Go to bed, Della.”

“Oh, don’t worry, Ren. I’m going. But not before I prove to myself I’m stronger than I thought.” Her touch reached for me again, softening to a caress as her thumb traced my bottom lip and she stood on her tiptoes, bringing her mouth to mine.

I froze as she kissed me.

I

Sweet.

It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done not to kiss her back.

Not to ruin that i

Every muscle turned rigid at the invasion, the seduction. My eyes begged to close. My lips pleaded to part and give in.

I was seconds away from throwing it all away and taking what I wanted, but then she was gone, dropping her touch and smiling with every nightmare in the world. “Goodbye, Ren Wild. Goodbye to fallen dreams and impossible fantasies.”

When she turned her back on me, I couldn’t tear my eyes off her perfect ass as she walked bravely across the lounge to the corridor.

Every part of me wanted to follow, still spellbound and broken.

Just before she disappeared into the darkness, she looked back.

Her eyes locked on mine.

Her lips parted.

Her breath caught.

And we stood trapped in a physical embrace even while apart.

My willpower cracked enough to put one foot in front of the other as I begged to have her.

Then she shattered it by smiling soft and sweet like she’d done since she was a girl and dropped her eyes. “I’m sorry, Ren…for everything. But things will be better now. I promise. I’m done making life difficult…for both of us.”

She left without a backward glance, leaving me in the rubble of our lives, stupidly believing anything could be better now everything had been destroyed.

She didn’t come back even though I stood there, silently screaming her name over and over for her to find me.

This couldn’t be it.

This couldn’t end.

We couldn’t end.

But…we had.

We’d been honest for the first time in years and it had successfully proven what a dangerous game we’d been playing. We’d been willingly hurting each other. Twisting all that was good between us until there was nothing left.

My chest ached. My body throbbed.

I stood there for far longer than I should have.

Long after she’d headed to her bedroom.

Long after I heard the springs of her bed bounce and the click of her light signal she’d cocooned herself in the dark.

Only when my legs threatened to collapse did I trip across the lounge and grab her dress discarded on the floor.

I hugged it as I fell heavily on the couch.

I rocked with it as my mind flickered with images of her fucking another while flashes of her as a child made me sick.

I couldn’t untangle the two. I couldn’t accept the Della I loved with all my soul was now an adult. And not just any adult, but a woman who’d torn out my heart.

I switched from filthy obsessions to a racing track of warning.

Dawn wasn’t far away.

A new day where even sunshine couldn’t fix what was broken.

Della didn’t need me anymore, but somehow, I needed her more than ever. I needed her more than I could stand. More than I could ever let her know.

She’d been honest with me tonight, and it was time I was honest in return.

We were both miserable. Both searching for answers when we only gave each other questions. Both looking for permission to circumstances no one could understand.