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Fu I ignored it. Most of the time, I got home before Ren even noticed I was missing. But not that night. Unfortunately, or fortunately—depending on how you look at it—he caught me on the worst one, ringing me again, just as I was wiping a Kleenex between my legs and marvelling at the smear of blood. Once again, I let it ring as I exited the bathroom attached to the bedroom where I’d lost my virginity and padded barefoot to David. He pulled me into his arms, kissing my temple and hugging me close. “I’m sorry I wasn’t who you wanted.” I kissed his chest before letting him go to put his t-shirt on. “You were the best person for me to lose it with. I’m glad it was you.” He smiled. “Well, I’m honoured.” Buckling his jeans, he stood awkwardly by the door as I rearranged my dress. “Do you want to…eh, stay in touch?” My heart fluttered at the way he looked at me. At the fascinated puppy dog crush that no doubt made him feel all protective and smitten with a girl who begged for sex in such a sad, pathetic way. I smiled, picking my beaded bag off the floor and stuffing the two unused condoms inside. “It’s fine. I knew what I was doing. You don’t have to worry about me.” My phone danced around again, chirping its a “Are you going to get that?” he asked. “Why? It only hurts.” He held open the door for me to exit the room. “Want me to talk to him?” I laughed. “That would be interesting.” The chirping grew louder, and I sighed. “He’ll be concerned about me.” “In that case, you better answer it.” Tucking a curl behind my ear, he murmured, “Come find me after. We’ll have a drink. Get to know each other a little.” The fact that he liked me enough to want to hang out even though he’d already gotten me into bed made me warmer than I’d been in a while. “Sure.” With a handsome smile, David left me alone as I sucked in a steadying breath and smoothed down my dress one last time. I pressed accept on the call. “Hello?” My voice was empty and flat like it was most of the time these days, and I didn’t have time to fix on the Della false brightness and strength that Ren was used to hearing from me. “Della?” His tormented tone slipped into my ear making tears stab my eyes. “Where are you?” “I’m safe, don’t worry.” “That’s not what I asked.” I let silence gather between us as I stared at floral wallpaper in some stranger’s house. “Della?” His voice dropped to a whisper. “Tell me where you are. What happened?” Now, there were two scenarios I could’ve done and knowing the outcome of the one I chose, I should’ve gone for the other one. I should’ve told him I was fine, and that I’d be home soon. I should’ve kept my secrets just a little longer, hidden my heartbreak for just a little more, but with my insides bruised from another man and that same man actually wanting to spend time with me, I was done playing this part. I was through pretending and wanted to ensure the canyon that’d formed between us could never be repaired. And I had the perfect way to do it. “Della, answer me,” Ren commanded. So I answered him. I told him things I should’ve taken to my grave because who wants to hear about another being so vindictive and lost they’d practically do anything for a sliver of happiness. “I’m at a house party a few blocks from home. I Ubered here in my little black dress with no underwear, and I selected a boy from the dwindling crowd.” His harsh inhale sounded like thunder in my ear. “Do you want me to continue?” I breathed, rubbing at the fiery ruin of my heart. “Yes,” he strangled. “Finish. Tell me.” “This boy kissed me and took me upstairs, and I told him I was a virgin who was tired of being a child. I asked him to relieve me of it.” Tears cascaded down my cheeks as I confessed, knowing full well I broke his heart as well as mine. “And…he did.” Ren hung up.