Ugly girl

“You’ve got to understand,” he continues, really trying to make his point. “At that stage, you were a nobody. I couldn’t even put a face to your name. He was asking me to chose my family over a complete stranger and if I came through…”

“What?” I say with a heavy glare at the side of his head. “What grand prize was worth tormenting the broken new girl?”

Guilt takes over his sharp features. “He was going to get me onto any college basketball team I wanted and if I didn’t come through, he’d make sure I never played again.”

I don’t doubt that for one second. I’ve seen him do much worse in his study for far less. The man is simply a monster, the worst kind of monster. “I get it,” I say too quickly, still frustrated with the situation.

“If I’d known who the hell you were or what kinds of things he’d done to you…”

I shake my head. “Don’t. Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Pity me.”

Slade looks across at me and in a flash his hand is at my ankle and he drags me across the couch until his hand is at my back and he’s holding me up against him. “I don’t pity you, Skylah. I think you’re the strongest fucking woman I’ve ever met and the fact that you’re still standing proves that.”

“Stop,” I whisper, feeling my emotions creeping up on me. “I need to hate you.”

“What does that even mean?” he question, frustrated at still not having a clear answer since asking me at Nessa’s party. He drags me back onto his lap and when I don’t respond, he sighs. “Look, at the begi

“Slade,” I warn, begging him not to go on.

“You opened that smart mouth and it became some twisted kind of foreplay. I hated the things I did to you, they made me feel sick. I mean, fuck, Virago. I snuck into your room in the middle of the night and grabbed you. If I’d known what he’d done to you, I’d never have done that, not in a million fucking years. You were terrified, I saw it in your eyes and it made me sick. You were so ready to slit my fucking throat until you realized I wasn’t him,” I swallow hard at the memory. “You fought back every time. No matter what terrible things I did or said to you, you were stronger and I realized that ru

“I’ve got nowhere else to go,” I admit. “Ru

“Yeah, I realized that after you put me in my fucking place on Monday.”

“I really didn’t mean to tell you about the whole ‘highest-bidder’ thing. That just sort of slipped out,” he nods and I meet his stare. “He’s going to come after you when he realizes I’m not leaving, you understand that, right?”

“I know,” he says, letting me see right down into his soul and I realize that while he doesn’t fear Lucien, he fears for his family. I drop my forehead to his and he runs his hand up my back. “I fucked up, Sky. I never should have agreed to play his games.”

“When it comes to Lucien Valentine, you don’t have a choice. He decides who plays his games and you just have to hope that you come out of it unscathed.”

He pulls me in closer and I struggle to breathe, terrified of what this could mean. “I’m going to make it up to you,” he promises me. “There’s something about you, Sky. I like you.”

“Don’t,” I say with a frustrated groan. “I need you to hate me.”

“Why?” he says, bringing us right back there again yet this time, explaining myself seems to come a lot easier. “Because it’s easier to hate you. When you’re trying to intimidate me, I forget that the world sucks, and when I’m screaming at you, the pain fades away,” I lower my voice, terrified of it breaking. “When I see you at the other end of the hall with your eyes locked on mine and that look on your face that tells me to run, I forget how bad it hurts and the fear disappears. You take away the memories of my mom’s blood, you take away the echoing screams that repeat in my head, you take away the sickening feel of his hands on my body. You’ve been like a drug to me, Slade, and I can’t risk losing that. I won’t. I’m not kidding, I need you to hate me, I need it so damn bad.”

He shakes his head and it tears me apart. “I can’t do that, Virago,” he whispers. “I can’t hurt you anymore. I won’t.”

“I’m not the girl for you, Slade,” I tell him, seeing exactly what he’s wanting and doing my best to warn him away. I pull back from his touch and climb off his lap, trying to give myself some room to think. “I’m all sorts of fucked up.”

Slade gets up and steps into me, brushing his lips over my forehead. “No, you might have had some fucked up things happen to you, but you’re not broken. You’re fucking beautiful.” My eyes drop to the floor and he finally starts to retreat to the door. “I meant what I said,” he murmurs, making my eyes flick back up to him. “I’m going to make it up to you. I’ll deal with Lucien another way, but from now on, you don’t have to worry about me sneaking into your room.”

I press my lips into a hard line, wondering if him sneaking into my room would really be an awful thing. “Then I guess you don’t have to worry about turning blue during your games.”

He smirks and something brightens within me. “That was fucking good.”

I roll my eyes, though still very proud of my achievement. “Just go before I change my mind and do something to really fuck this up.”

Slade winks and I turn into a mess as he walks out the door, making sure to pull it closed behind him.

I drop to the floor and try to catch my breath as I work out what the hell just happened, but one thing is for sure, Slade Cruz is no longer the enemy.