Follow the River

Agreeing to the plans, Taylor and Siena give us a quick goodbye and head off and out the doors back to the cool winter day.

Before I even have the chance to look at Rain, he’s gripping my shoulder to spin me around. “Who is he to you?”

My brows furrow. “That’s Taylor. As in Coach’s son. My best friend?”

Rain’s forehead creases. “Did you fuck him? Or vice versa?”

That makes me laugh. “What? No, of course not. I never even looked at T that way. Or Drew or E.” I smirk. “Why? Did you fuck her?”

And the way Rain’s face visibly pales, I know his answer. My stomach drops along with the smile on my face. “Of course, you did,” I scoff. “I shouldn’t even have to ask.”

He shakes his head, grabbing my face with one hand. “It’s not what you think, Riv. She was actually my first, yeah, but it was never anything like…”

“Like what?”

“This!” he says, gesturing to me with his free hand.

I roll my eyes, as if that comment is supposed to make me feel better. “Well considering she doesn’t have a cock for you to suck on, I’d assume it would be very different indeed.”

Yeah, I fucking know I’m being petty right now. But holy goddamn, I wasn’t expecting this bomb to be dropped on me today. Not when we were in this…bubble of happiness.

“You know what I mean,” he growls. “Don’t act like you don’t have exes you’ve fucked before me.”

“I do, but at least I don’t sit you down at di

“She wasn’t just some fuck, River. She and her brother were my two best friends in high school. I was trying to get my shit together and find out what I liked, and she offered.” He sighs, rubbing his temple with his free thumb. “It was only the one time. She isn’t anything more than a friend.”

I exhale sharply and give him a brief nod.

Fuck, I hate my insecurity right now. The feeling is usually so few and far between, but right now with him, it’s like it’s been magnified for some reason. Like the fact that we had such a volatile start to this thing between us had a way of enhancing all the shit I suppress.

“I believe you. I’m sorry, I just…”

“Got jealous,” he smiles, his thumb brushing my cheek. “It’s okay, babe. I don’t mind it. I’m not go

“I don’t?” I furrow my brows at him.

He laughs, still the greatest sound to ever grace my ears as he drags me down onto the couch, handing me my mug of now lukewarm cocoa. “Nah, you’re plenty for me to deal with. No way in hell I could handle adding in a side piece.”

Despite my initial fears and protests, di

But also, much to my delight, Siena is actually really fucking cool too.

Down to Earth, sarcastic, and fu

After di

I’m standing at the bar waiting for my new drink, watching Rain and Siena talk out the corner of my eye at the high top table we moved to after di

I’ve heard it hundreds of times, but he’s never done it directed at me.

“Say what you want to say, T. We don’t have fucking secrets,” I sigh, fingers tapping absently on the bar.

“You have feelings for him?”

I scoff and laugh.

Yep, there he is. Taylor has never been one to beat around the bush and honestly, I’m thankful for that, even in this circumstance.

Turning away from Rain entirely to face Taylor, I roll my teeth over my lip. “I don’t think it matters if I do or don’t. It’s over the minute we’re back to Boulder.”

Taylor shakes his head and smirks. “We’re two of a fucking kind. Always wanting more than what someone is willing to give.”

I lift my shoulder absently, hating that he’s right. We’ve always been cut from the same cloth. Far more attuned with our emotions than the rest of our friends. It’s probably why we’ve always had this unbreakable bond where we can tell each other whatever is on our minds.

“We’re too young to be wanting that kind of shit anyways.”

T glares at me. “Riv, don’t be dense. You and I both know that when you know, you just fucking know. It doesn’t matter if you’re sixteen, twenty-one, or thirty-something. When the person you’re meant to be with is tossed in your path, you grab them and hold on for dear life. In whatever capacity they’ll have you.”

Perceptive as ever, this asshole.

Because yeah, at this point I’ll take Rain however I can have him.

“This is different, T. It’s not as simple for us.”

He shrugs. “It never is. I’m not saying it’s simple for me and Siena. She didn’t even want to start sleeping together. Made a goddamn list of rules for us to follow if we were going to. And I’ve already broken every fucking one of them. It could wind up screwing me over, leaving me absolutely heartbroken in the end. But having her is better than not, for no matter how long.”

“Are you trying to tell me you think she’s the one?”

Licking his lips, he lets out a soft chuckle. “I’ve loved her from the moment I met her freshman year, Riv. I’d propose right now if I thought I had any chance of getting her to say yes. I want it all with her. Marriage, kids. Growing old and senile as fuck together.”

“But we always want more from them than they are willing to give,” I murmur, repeating his sentiment.

Taylor nods again and the bartender decides this moment to place my drink on the bar. I grab my gin and tonic, taking a swift drink before setting it back on the bar.

“Look, Riv. You’re my best friend in the entire world. I only want what’s best for you, for you to find the person you can’t stand the thought of walking out of your life for good.”

“I know, man,” I laugh, not sure where he’s trying to go with this. “Of course, I want the same for you.”

He grins. “I know, dipshit. This isn’t about me though. It’s about you and that guy you can’t take your damn eyes off of for more than a few seconds. Fuck, I even saw a flare of jealousy earlier and I’m going to be honest, I never pictured you as the type to feel that emotion. You’re too carefree for it.”

“Yeah, T? It seems that I’m full of surprises.”

He rubs the back of his neck and smirks. “It tends to happen when you fall in love, bud.”

There’s that fucking word again. Love.

But hearing it come out of Taylor’s mouth, who knows me better than probably anyone on this entire planet? Fuck, it makes me itchy.

“I’m not in love with him. I like him, sure. But damn, man. Just a few weeks ago we were ready to kill each other. We hated each other.”

Taylor smirks and for the first time, I want to deck my best friend in the damn face for thinking he knows something I don’t. That he knows more about Rain and me than I do from observing us for, what? A couple hours?