Follow the River

Last night, something strange happened. There’s been a shift in our dynamic.

I don’t know if Rain can feel it, but I definitely do…and it’s fucking absurd to even be thinking it. Feeling it.

Part of me knows if I even mentioned it to Rain, to see if he noticed as well, it would send this progress we’ve made a million steps backwards. Which is the last thing I want.

But it’s fucking there, festering under a thin layer of avoidance.

I don’t feel like his enemy anymore. Not at all.

I don’t have the urge to fight with him tooth and nail.

What I want is to be his friend. His actual friend. Not just a friend you happen to fuck because we’re stuck in the middle of the mountains with nothing better to do than get each other off.

I’m talking, real ass, going to the movies, hanging out after practice, studying together, enjoying each other’s company…friends.

Whether or not the sex would still continue after we returned to school? If we decided to pursue this in other facets? I… shit.

I don’t know.

I just. Don't. Know.

Because the sex is fantastic. Mind-altering. Dare I say, the best I’ve ever had, with either a guy or girl. And coming from a guy who is used to topping more often than not?

Like I said, mind-altering.

Because I fucking love the way he controls me when he’s inside me, yet he lets me have my way with him even when I’m bottoming. Yes, I’d be lying if I haven’t thought about sinking inside him more often than is probably mentally sane, but I would be happy to live the rest of my life never sinking my cock into anything other than a mouth if it meant getting fucked by Rain Grady.

Which in itself is…problematic.

I’m fucking twenty-one years old and the last thing I should be thinking about in my junior year of college is settling down because of a good lay.

My gut clenches, rejecting my line of thinking. I know this is more than a good fuck. I see myself getting in way too deep with him, especially after last night.

And yet…I’m not about to stop this.

No chance in hell.

Groaning, I roll to my side and slide out of bed, sore from spending half the night on the floor yet again. I don’t have it in me to care though, as long as I’m close enough to him if he ever decides he needs me.

I just wish he would let me in there with him. Or spend the night with me in my bed. But I’m not about to rock the boat with a suggestion and risk fucking up this…arrangement we have going on.

Goddamn, I’m so fucking screwed.

I slip into some clean clothes and deciding not to dwell on whatever the fuck I’m feeling or not feeling for Rain. I have time to figure it out later.

I’m shocked to find Rain sitting at the kitchen table, cup of coffee in hand, when I make my way down the hall. It’s only a little after seven, and usually he isn’t up much before ten, what with his nightmares waking him frequently.

Last night wasn’t nearly as bad, though. For some reason, he only moaned and sobbed for twenty minutes before falling back into a more peaceful slumber.

That doesn’t mean I didn’t spend a good two hours on the floor outside his room to be sure.

I haven’t attempted to talk to him about them at all since the first night. It’s not like we sleep in the same bed. Hell, we barely even fuck in a bed. Maybe once, in the week we’ve been…sleeping together? Having sex? Fucking?

Shit. Things are already getting too complicated.

“Morning,” he says, standing from his seat and heading back to the coffee pot. He pours himself another cup, then grabs a second mug to pour some for me as well. Handing it to me, a nervous glimmer flashes across his eyes. “You sleep okay?”

“Yeah,” I say, and it’s not entirely a lie. When I’m asleep, I sleep fine. The ground is just a hard place to try to make that happen. I take a sip of my coffee, loving the bitter taste on my tongue, and smile at him. “So I might have something pretty fun pla

His thick brow quirks up. “Is that so?”

“Sure is. It’s actually a good thing you’re awake already. Means we can get started early before it gets too busy.”

“Too busy?” he asks, confusion on his face, to which I bite my lip, attempting to keep my grin from growing larger.

Ever since Rain told me he had never been to the mountains, let alone skiing or snowboarding, I’ve wanted to take him. Yet, knowing Rain, he’d never want to be seen with me in public more than possible.

Though I’m not so sure that’s true anymore.

And after last night? Giving me such a thoughtful gift and expecting nothing in return?

Yeah, no. Not fucking happening.

“We’re heading into Vail,” I tell him nonchalantly before taking another sip of my coffee. “I got us lift tickets for the day.”

Rain’s eyes practically bug out of their sockets at my words, then they narrow skeptically. “Is this a Christmas gift?”

“Does it matter? They are already paid for, non-refundable, and no, you can’t give me money for yours.” I shrug. “I’ve been wanting to hit the slopes since we got up here. It’s more for me than you, since you don’t even know how.”

Again, not a total lie.

The look he’s giving me tells me he is still doubting my motive, but he doesn’t disagree. “You’ll teach me?” The question comes out so defenseless, I’m almost shocked speechless.

Rain fucking Grady, nervous.

It’s a sight to behold.

I smile behind my mug. “‘Course, baby. I’ll hold your hand the entire time down the bu

Not more than an hour later, we’re dressed in the winter gear we brought with us to the cabin—thankfully I brought a second pair of snow pants for Rain to borrow—and we’re on the ATV into town. At least on this time riding bitch, I get to fuck around with him, teasing him by ru

He might have pulled over and threatened me to knock it the fuck off before he drove us off the road, but he didn’t seem too mad.

After renting a couple boards and helmets and showing Rain the basics of moving with one foot locked in a snowboard, we’re setting off one of the chair lifts to the top of the mountain.

I glance out over the surrounding landscape as we rise up over the mountain on the lift, finding myself grateful as hell I was fortunate enough to grow up in such a beautiful place. So many people never get to experience what a beautiful world we live in, how small we are in the grand scheme of life, and being in the mountains always seems to put that in perspective for me.

Not just me, either. There’s a reason Colorado is growing so fast, and it’s definitely because of the good ole Rocky Mountain high.

A small twinge of guilt hits me, knowing this has been my backyard for most of my life, yet before today, Rain has never set foot on a ski resort. It makes me thankful I’m giving this experience to him. Though he hasn’t opened up to me, shown me his scars and demons, I know he battles them each day. I hope a nice dose of nature might give him a break from it.

If only for today.

“What song?” Rain asks out of the blue, snapping me from my thoughts.

“Huh?”

“What song are you playing in your head right now?”

“I’m not—” I begin to deny, until I realize I’ve been tapping my glove-covered hand absently against my snow pants, lost in my thoughts. Rain takes said hand in his own, lacing our padded fingers the best he can.