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I want Richard’s death on my hands.
I need to be strong enough to make him pay, not only for his recent transgressions, but those he made against me in the past.
I don’t stop until I’m half a mile from the house, the early afternoon sun beating down on me as an all-consuming hollowness creeps inside my chest. I haven’t felt alone since before the shooting. It’s been days with Sebastian within reach and readily accessible to keep me stable.
I need to learn to function without him.
Just because he’s staying by my side for now doesn’t mean he can for long. Cole will learn the truth eventually. The time will come when the man I adore is wrenched from my heart.
A scuffle of noise sounds behind me, inspiring hope.
It’s him. I know it is. He’s here to apologize. To make things right. And I want nothing more than to run to him and claim the warmth.
I turn, my eyes gentle in anticipation for the remorse I expect to see. But he’s not the person behind me. I’m bitterly disappointed at the sight of Sarah a few feet away, her feet bare, the bottom of her jeans covered in red dirt as she navigates the stones in the path toward me.
“What are you doing out here?” I mutter.
Her ankle rolls, and she rights herself with a curse. “Do you mind if I join you?”
“Do I have a choice?”
“Yes, you do. I can leave you alone if you like. But I think you’d prefer to watch me suffer through an uncomfortable apology.”
Jesus Christ. Sebastian told her. The pity is right there, written all over her face.
“I don’t want an apology.” I start toward her, retracing my steps toward the house.
I don’t want anything from her. Not now. Not anymore.
“Then tell me what to do to make this better.” She pauses in place and waits until I reach her side. “How do I fix this?”
“You don’t. This is as good as it gets.” I stride by her, and she hustles to follow.
“Despite me being a total dick, we’re friends, Keira. I can make it up to you.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. We’re not friends. We never were. We couldn’t have been if you were so eager to burn me at the stake.”
She cringes. “I deserve that.”
She deserves more. Much more.
“I’m sorry.” Her words are pained. “I can’t imagine what you’ve been through. I didn’t realize. I honestly had no clue. And I hate myself for it.”
“Sebastian had no right to tell you.” I keep stalking away, the distance between me and the house seeming to grow further and further with each breath.
“He didn’t say a word. I’m working on assumptions at this point and hoping my imagination is on overdrive.”
“Your original assumptions about me were entirely off base. Why would this be any different?”
“Will you tell me?”
I try not to fracture from the regret in her voice.
She doesn’t deserve my sympathy.
Goddamn it, she doesn’t deserve anything from me. “I’ll pass.”
I lengthen my stride, increasing the pace of my escape. She doesn’t try to keep up. I hear her fall back, the scuffle of rocks drifting behind as I approach the house yard.
I don’t stop until my hand is on the fence.
“Fuck.” Her curse splits the air.
I pause and glance over my shoulder, finding her looking at something shiny poking from the bottom of her foot.
“Motherfucker.” She pulls out a sharp spike of glass and throws it into the long grass beside the trail.
I bite back a reply. I shouldn’t care if she’s hurt. I swear I don’t despite the pang beneath my ribs that demands I help.
She limps forward. One step. Two.
Damn it.
“Are you okay?” I mutter.
“Yeah. I’d call this karma.”
“I guess.” I shrug. “If Karma turned into a lenient little bitch.”
She shoots me a grin.
It’s too easy. After what she put me through, the slide back into friendship needs to be harder.
I turn away in rejection and raise my leg to climb over the fence.
“Keira, wait.”
I sigh, my shoulders slumping as I reluctantly face her hobbling toward me.
“I fucked up. Big time.” Her usual expression of pride-filled strength becomes a softened plea for understanding. “But I’m begging you, is there any way I can make this up to you?”
I can’t hold her focus. Not when she’s efficiently wearing me down with the sincerity in her expression. I lower my gaze, over the wrinkles in her shirt, then further to the rectangular bulge in her jeans pocket.
I stop. Stare.
Maybe there is something she can do.
“Is that a cell?” I look her in the eye. “Let me call Cole.”
She blinks, once, twice, her lips parting on silent words.
“That’s how you make this up to me, Sarah. You give me that cell in your pocket and leave me alone to call my brother.”
“Decker doesn’t want you contacting him yet.”
“I’m well aware of what Decker wants.”
She glances toward the house, her forehead wrinkled from an internal battle I can practically hear. “They’re going to kill me.”
“That’s a small price to pay.”
She sighs and presses her lips tight as she bridges the space between us in a few limped steps and hands over the device. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”
I don’t. Not at all. “I’ll figure it out.” I grab the cell and continue to hold her stare. “You can go inside now.”
She doesn’t budge. For a few brief seconds she holds my gaze, wordlessly pleading with me to change my mind.
“Go.”
She huffs out a breath and throws her leg over the fence.
I wait for her to walk across the lawn, up the stairs to the porch, then into the house. Then my fingers are frantically flying over the cell screen, dialing one of the very few numbers I’ve committed to memory.
Cole answers on the first ring, his panicked voice loud and clear. “Where is she? Have you found her?”
I smile. I almost sob. “Are you referring to me, brother?”
“Jesus. I’ve been fucking worried. What happened? Are you safe?”
I close my eyes, fighting the burn.
I want to tell him everything. All the secrets. All the lies. All the deception our father has intricately woven into our lives.
“I’m—”
A loud crack of noise draws my attention to the back of the house. Sebastian stands there, the door wildly swinging back toward him as he stares at me, wide-eyed, shoulders tense.
I swallow at the defeat I see in his features.
I’m betraying him again. I’m hurting him.
“Everything is okay, Cole.”
Sebastian descends the stairs in one leap and storms toward me, his stride menacing.
“Where are you?” Cole asks. “Why the fuck haven’t you called?”
My heart lodges in my throat as Sebastian uses one hand to bound over the fence, coming to an overbearing stop right in front of me.
“I’m safe,” I say into the phone. “Decker is looking after me.”
His chin hitches in defiance as he stands tall, the pain of my deception evident in his eyes.
“We didn’t mean to worry you,” I continue. “But we had to get off the grid. We had a tail.”
“Who?”
“I don’t know. We lost them outside Newport.”
“Where are you now?”
“I don’t know that either. And I think it’s best if I don’t say anything more over the phone.”
Sebastian’s chest rises and falls with harsh breaths as he remains ramrod straight. I want to reach out and touch him. I have to ease the heartache. But what I’m going to say to Cole is far more important.
“You’re upset,” my brother growls. “I can hear it in your voice.”
“It’s just good to speak to you. And I miss home. I can’t wait to see Layla and Stella.”