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“You liked me,” I accuse.
He’d wanted me. That part hadn’t been an act. He’d slept with me without revulsion or disgust. It wasn’t until we came here—until he knew I’d lied—that he couldn’t stomach touching me.
He’d thought I was i
“It wasn’t an act for you either, was it?” I scan his eyes, searching for threads of the truth in those dark depths. “You felt the same way I did.”
He doesn’t move. Doesn’t even blink.
Hope sparks inside me, the sweet, delicious optimism working its way through my veins until he releases a sigh of exhaustion.
“I’m fucking tired, Keira. We’re going to have to postpone this delusional conversation until tomorrow.”
“Why? Sleep won’t change our situation. The truth will still be here no matter how tired you are.”
“Sleep will bring patience, which is something I don’t have with you at the moment.”
I can live without his patience. What I can’t endure is another minute without his honesty. “I’ll make this easier for you. Just tell me why you slept with me in Westport. Was it because you wanted to, or because you thought it would get you closer to the truth?”
He stares at me. Stares right through me. There’s no warmth. No kindness. No Sebastian. There’s only sorrow and detachment. He’s a shell of the man I once knew.
“Close the window,” he mutters.
“No. Not until you answer me.”
“Close the fucking window, Keira.”
He’s trying to scare me with his vicious tone, but there’s no fear left. There’s only determination and the strongest sense of perseverance.
“You were attracted to me,” I demand. “You wanted me.”
His nostrils flare. “All in the past, honey.”
My insides react. Squeezing. Tingling. “What changed? Do you hate me now because I told one lie? Because I tried to protect myself with the same dedication you protected me with?”
He falls quiet, those tired eyes lazily blinking back at me with sterility.
“Answer me,” I plead. “Tell me how I’m the bad person when I betrayed you once, yet you made me fall for someone who doesn’t exist.”
“Can you hear yourself? Are you really begging for me? You’re practically on your knees for a fucking informant.” His nose scrunches in disgust. “If only Daddy could see you now.”
Rage shoots to the forefront. “Don’t throw him in my face.” I take a menacing step forward. “Don’t hold me accountable for my father’s actions. I didn’t do this. I didn’t hurt you. I didn’t take your sister.”
He winces. “No, you did something worse. You made me crave the daughter of my sister’s murderer.”
His admission slices through me, piercing skin, muscle, and bone. I’ve been waiting for this truth. It’s what I wanted. I just never anticipated it would tear me apart like this. “And I fell for a man who’s trying to put my father in prison. I fell for the guy who deceived my family for months, if not years. I fell for you, despite your intentions.” I swallow over the ache in my throat. “And I don’t regret it, Sebastian.”
His hands clench at his sides.
He’s going to yell at me again. He’s poised to lash out.
My heart pounds in tumultuous arrhythmia, anticipating the onslaught. Every second lasts an eternity waiting for him to berate me.
But he doesn’t.
His expression doesn’t change. He’s still harsh and unforgiving, as he retreats from his predatory stance to slump back onto the mattress and runs a hand through his hair. “Tell me about your uncle. How did he end up in the hospital?”
My chest continues its accelerated pulse. His question isn’t a white flag, but it’s something. The door he slammed closed on us has inched open just a little. “I paid someone.”
He raises a brow in disbelief. “Why now? Why not all those years ago?”
“When I was fourteen? I wasn’t capable of plotting murder back then.”
“I mean when you became an adult. Why didn’t you do something as soon as you were capable? When you turned twenty, or twenty-one, or any other year since. Why now and not earlier?”
“I guess I didn’t want to awaken old ghosts.” I return to the window and lean against the sill. “After he hurt me, he stopped coming around. I don’t know if he thought I’d tell my father or if Cole would. But he kept his distance and concentrated on business instead of family. Which gave me the space I needed to move on.”
“Until?”
I force down the emotions trying to bubble to the surface. I breathe in the calm I need to continue this conversation. “Until Stella turned six.”
“Stella?” His eyes flash with rage. “He didn’t—”
“No.” I shake my head. “He’s never touched her. I made sure of it. He may have groomed me at an early age, but I educated her even earlier, making sure she never spent time alone with him. That didn’t stop him from thinking about it, though. I watched the way he interacted with her. How he’d make her laugh. How they’d hug. I knew what was going on in that sick mind of his.”
I pause, waiting for an acceptance of my truth, praying and pleading silently for him to believe me.
“Keep going.” His expression doesn’t soften. He doesn’t give a hint of sympathy or solidarity. “Tell me everything.”
I have to be thankful for the slightest glimmer of curiosity. For the baby steps. “I knew it was only a matter of time. So I took the law into my own hands and paid for someone to take him out.”
“You paid for them to kill him, and they fucked up?”
“No.” I cringe. “I’m the one who fucked up. I found someone willing to do the job and paid half the arranged price up front…”
“Then?”
“Then I chickened out.” I swallow over the admission.
“You changed your mind?”
“No. I still wanted him dead. But I hadn’t thought about the danger I’d put everyone in. With my father spending longer and longer out of the country, I realized I couldn’t risk weakening our defenses.”
“I don’t get it. How does making him a vegetable help the situation?”
“It doesn’t. I tried to break the contract, or at least put it on hold. But apparently there’s no take-backsys when it comes to arranging a hit.”
One side of his mouth kicks in a half-hearted smirk.
That’s all he gives me. A slight change in expression. A casual tweak of lips.
The tepid simplicity is blindingly beautiful.
His slight hint of friendship turns my insides to flame, and I’m weak-kneed for him all over again. “In hindsight, I guess I should’ve asked Hunter to do it.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Because I knew he wouldn’t do the job without permission from Cole. And my brother still has no clue I’m responsible.” I stare at him, waiting for him to realize the secret I’ve just laid at his feet.
Nobody knows why Richard was run down.
Nobody is aware I tried to have someone in my own family slaughtered.
Nobody but the murderer I hired and now the man seated before me. The same man who could crush my heart that sits firmly in his calloused hands.
Sebastian could give this information to my siblings. The authorities. The media. I’ve handed him my skeletons. I’ve given him my whole fucking closet.
“Why couldn’t you get Cole to arrange the hit in the first place?” he asks. “You said he was there for you.”
“Because family doesn’t kill family.”
“Is that one of your father’s rules?” He crosses his arms over his chest, his lips flattening into a tight line. “Your uncle raped you, Keira. The punishment fits the crime.”