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A broken sound of rage and suffering echoes through the room, and I realize it’s coming from me, as I clutch my son for the last time.
Voices reach the void inside my head.
I don’t even know how long I’ve stared at the spot on the desk where Roark’s body lay before he was taken away. An officer outside the office talks with my father, finally drawing my focus away, and in the thick of conversation, he makes eye contact with me and offers a sympathetic nod. When I lower my gaze, I notice the signet ring he’s wearing, and the conversation sharpens to clarity.
“We’ll make sure not a word of this breaches these walls,” he says, shaking my father’s hand. “Not a single word.”
I push to my feet, my body moving on its own, and I exit past the officer, who pats me on the back. Down the hall, then staircase, until I finally reach the foyer.
“Master?” Rand asks from behind. “Where are you going?”
I don’t answer him. I swipe the keys from the console where I left them earlier, and make my way toward the door.
“Master, you shouldn’t go anywhere right now.” The warning in Rand’s voice fails to breach the haze of determination, as I head toward the door. “Lucian!”
Once outside, I hustle down the staircase, toward my bike still parked on the drive. I need something, I don’t even know what. Speed. Air. Adrenaline. Something that will take away this intense pain. The massive hollow in my chest that’s doubled in size over the last hour. The emptiness and numbness that waits to devour me the moment I let down my guard.
“Boss!” Makaio calls, as he and Rand plod down the stairs after me.
I start up the bike, rev the throttle, and take off down the drive. Cool air whips past me, stealing my breath, as I pass through the gates of this hell. Flickering images of Roark slip through my mind, and I feed the bike more gas. Trees zip through my periphery, the buzz of the bike the only sound over the distant memory of Roark’s sleepy voice. Before I know it, the trees give way to the seaside, the winding road ahead calling to me.
More speed.
I think of the moments earlier, when I stood in the doorway, watching him play. What if I hadn’t bothered with the paperwork? What if I’d dropped it all and played with him right then?
More speed.
The visual of picking up the bottle and finding Amelia’s name on the label sends bullets of rage through my veins, and I clench my teeth together.
More speed.
I curse God for giving me something so meaningful, so crucial, only to swipe it right out of my hands.
Lights ahead approach fast, and somehow, they’re coming right at me. That’s when I catch sight of the line I’ve crossed on the road, and I swerve to avoid the crash. My hand slips from the throttle, flying into the air. The pavement crashes into my shoulder and tears into my face, as I drag across the concrete. Fire streaks up one half of my body, while the rest of me goes numb, and red gathers in my periphery, the world stands tilted on its side. A white hot pain rips across my skin. I see lights. Shadows looming over me.
Standing in front of them is Roark, clutching his teddy.
“Hi, Daddy.”