The Spark

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER 18

Autumn

 

“What do you think of this?” I pulled a green silk dress I’d bought but never worn out of my closet and pressed it against my body before turning to show Skye.

“It looks Gucci with your skin and hair.”

My forehead winkled. “Gucci?”

Skye rolled her eyes. “It means it looks hot. Sometimes I can’t believe you’re in your twenties. Your vocab is the same as my mom’s.”

“Uhh. Thank you?”

She flipped the page of her magazine while sitting on my bed with a smirk. “It wasn’t a compliment.”

I chuckled and walked over to the mirror. “Do you think the material is too clingy?”

She flipped another page, lifted the sample flap on a perfume advertisement, and brought it up to her nose for a sniff. “There’s no such thing as too clingy. Where are you wearing it? Also...” She wrinkled her nose. “This smells like shit.”

“Let me smell.” She held out the magazine, and I walked over and smelled the page. “I like it.”

She shook her head again and mumbled under her breath. “You really are turning into my mom.”

At twenty-two, Skye was only six years younger than me. But sometimes it felt like she could be my child. That’s probably because she’d been an actual child when we’d met six years ago.

“What’s the dress for?”

“Court tomorrow with one of my kids.”

She shut the magazine and wiggled her eyebrows. “Ahh…the hot, rich lawyer who steals shampoo from hotels and has a shitload of plants. What’s going on there? I need all the details. Did you see him again?”

I nodded. “Yeah…and things got a little complicated.”

“Complicated good or complicated bad?”

“I sort of went to a party with Blake—I told you they work at the same firm. Technically Blake is one of Donovan’s bosses. Anyway, at the party, I wound up making out with Donovan in a bathroom.”

“Holy crap.” She tossed the magazine to the side and clapped her hands together. “I didn’t think you had it in you.”

I sat down on the bed and sighed. “I don’t, Skye.”

“So dump the other guy.”

“It’s not that…”

“So what is it?”

“I’m just… I’m not ready.”

“Okay, well…what are you doing to make yourself ready?”

I frowned. “You’re throwing my own words back at me, aren’t you?”

“Nope. I’m just recycling good advice.”

I smiled sadly. “I know, I know. I lectured you and pushed you for years. You don’t have to remind me what a hypocrite I am. I’m good at talking the talk, but apparently not so good at walking the walk.”

Skye took my hand and squeezed. “It’s okay. We walk when we’re ready to walk. But maybe you need to start taking baby steps.”

“I have been. I’ve been dating the last few years.”

“No, you’ve been having sex with men you see no future with. You only date guys who aren’t looking for an emotional co

I blew out a deep breath. “Maybe. But I like things the way they are.”

“Do you really, though? The thought of hot lawyer banging some other woman doesn’t bother you?”

Skye and I had made a pact years ago never to lie to each other about what we were feeling. No matter what. We’d gone through some pretty hard truths, so I wasn’t about to lie to her now.

I frowned. “That actually makes me feel like throwing something—like a lamp out the window, without opening it first.”

“Oh, honey.” She smiled sadly and squeezed my hand again.

Ten minutes ago, I’d felt like Skye was my daughter, and now she felt like the more mature one. In some ways, she had grown more than me. She’d even had a serious boyfriend for almost a year now. And while I dated, I kept things limited to sex. Until last year, I hadn’t met a man who interested me enough to want more. Then I lost my luggage and fell hard in only three days. But I’d run the other direction as fast as I could, and eventually stopped thinking about him every day—until life threw me a cruel curveball.

“When was the last time you talked to Lillian?”

Lillian was my and Skye’s therapist, and the way we’d met. Usually I never ran into another patient while I waited for my weekly appointment. Lillian’s office was super private and discreet—she had two separate waiting rooms so patients never had to see each other. But one day I was early, and Skye came in crying without an appointment. The receptionist mixed up the rooms, so the two of us wound up sitting across from each other. It only took fifteen minutes of talking for us to bond, and the rest is history.

“It’s probably been about two years now,” I told her.

“Do you think maybe it’s time to go back? You’re doing amazing—don’t get me wrong. But you deserve so much more out of life.”

I sighed. I’d stopped going because I didn’t feel broken anymore. When I’d started seeing Lillian, I was a mess of shattered glass. She’d helped me put all the pieces back together. It wasn’t until now that I realized that my pieces were just taped together, not permanently glued.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Good.” Skye smiled. “Now give me details on the kiss.”

“It was…” I shook my head. “Unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. I completely forgot where we were and felt lost in the moment. It’s hard to explain, but Donovan just has this gruffness to the way he touches me that makes me feel like he’s losing his mind for me, and it’s the sexiest thing ever. It was like that the weekend we spent together, too. He’s almost dominant when things get physical, which I’d normally hate, but I know in my heart it’s not a control thing for him. It’s more of him expressing how much he wants me. If one of the partners hadn’t interrupted, I think we might’ve ended up having sex against the wall.”

Skye’s eyes bulged. “You got caught?”

I shook my head. “We almost did, though. But I was able to slink out, and then I feigned being sick and Blake drove me home.”

“Have you seen him since?”

“Donovan? No. We talked on the phone later that night, and I told him I thought we should keep our distance.”

“How long ago was that?”

“About two weeks.”

“So you haven’t had contact with him in a while, then?”

“Well, that’s the odd thing. After we talked on the phone, he didn’t contact me for almost a week. But then I got a text one night that just said I miss you. I didn’t respond, and the next day I got a huge bouquet of flowers with a note that said Still thinking about you. And every day since then, he’s done something like that, but we haven’t seen each other or spoken in two weeks.”

“Huh…”

“Huh, what?”

“He doesn’t know anything about your past, right?”

“No, why?”

“Because he’s giving you space, but letting you know he isn’t going anywhere. That’s exactly how you handle someone like us, yet he doesn’t know the history.”

“He’s very smart and intuitive.”

“So then he’s probably figured out that you’re falling in love with him and are just scared.”

I wasn’t falling in love, was I?

Skye saw my expression and laughed. “You’ll figure it out eventually. Now come on, we have four episodes to watch. I’m dying to know what the story is with that crazy bitch who got taken out of the rose ceremony after fainting.”