Eden

11

Saint falls asleep shortly after the movie’s over. He must be exhausted because I’ve never seen him pass out so fast. It seems our roles are being reversed because I’m wide-awake and full of nervous energy. Now that he’s not distracting me, everything else that’s wrong in my world has come flooding back into the spotlight. There’s no way I’m falling asleep anytime soon, not with my brain firing on all cylinders.

Slipping out of bed, I decide to go sneak to the rec center for a little while to try and burn off some of my stress. I quickly dress into some workout clothes, pile my dark hair in a messy bun, and sneak out of my room, careful not to wake Saint as I go.

Before I leave for the rec center, I move down the hall to Loni’s room. It’s late, but I know she’s a night owl, so I’m confident she’s still awake. Stopping at her door, I knock and wait, bouncing on the balls of my feet as anxiety buzzes through me. I realized earlier as I was lying with Saint, being normal, what I need to do with Loni to make things better.

It’s just a few seconds before she opens the door. Her dark eyes widen when she takes me in.

“Mal? What’s going on? Where are you going?”

I shake my head. “That doesn’t matter. I need you to do something for me, okay?”

She looks confused and definitely hesitant. “What is it?”

“Come to my room tomorrow night, and we’ll talk. I’ll tell you what I can, okay?”

She blinks, then an apologetic expression crosses her features. “Mallory, oh, I didn’t mean to make you feel guilty. You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to. I was just—”

“No, you were right. I’m so sorry, Loni.”

Wrapping my arms around her, I hug her tight. She returns my embrace after a heartbeat of time.

“Alright, I’ll come by tomorrow,” she tells me softly.

I pull away and let out a sigh of relief. “Good. Okay, I’m heading to the rec center for a bit. I’ll see you later.”

“Be careful.”

I nod and turn from her, feeling lighter as I make my way to the elevator. Riding it down to the first floor, I walk out of the building into the cool night.

Campus is so quiet this late. It’s soothing, not having anyone stare at me or whisper behind my back as I pass by. When I reach the athletic center, I make my way to the boxing room. I’ve had zero interest in returning to the pool since Jon Eric’s death, but a few rounds with a bag should wear me out.

Turning the corner, I pause when I see light streaming out of the weight room just up ahead. Who else is crazy enough to be working out this late?

I slowly make my way forward and peek through the doorway, ready to bolt if it’s one of the coaches and not another student. To my relief and surprise, I spot Liam sitting at one of the benches, flipping through his phone. There’s sweat dripping from his forehead, so he’s been here awhile already.

In an attempt not to startle him, I knock on the wall loudly. He jolts and looks up, his expression relaxing when he realizes it’s me.

Tugging his earbuds out, he says, “A little late for lifting weights.”

I walk into the room, gri

“I prefer when no one else is around. Easier to relax.”

“I get it.”

He slides a hand over the back of his neck, looking sheepish. “I’m sorry again for Friday,” he says. “And for yesterday in the hallway. Both times I was a real prick.”

I open my mouth to respond. To tell him it’s no big deal, and that I shouldn’t have snapped the way I did, but then he levels me with a serious look. “So, you and Saint, huh?” As if saying those words aloud makes him physically ill, he sneers. “Together at last.”

I stare at him, feeling a surge of disbelief that he suddenly wants to talk about my relationship with Saint. Not Jon Eric. Not the fact he went on a week-long bender because of what had happened the night he and Saint got rid of the body or the fact that wasn’t the first time they played with dead things. He wants to discuss my love life.

The worst part? I can’t answer him. Not only because I’m so irritated that he’d ask me that, but because I don’t know if Saint and I are together.

It seems like we are, but tonight was the first night we actually acted like a couple, and it felt like a fluke. I don’t know that he wants more from me, other than sex and allegedly to protect me from his father, whom I haven’t seen since Parents’ Weekend. Saint is possessive of me, sure, but that’ll no doubt wear off in time.

Right?

Liam takes my silence as my answer and he shoves a hand through his black hair and shakes his head. “Just … watch your back, okay? I don’t fucking want you to go down in flames with him.”

A shallow breath bursts from my nostrils. “I … Liam, do you know something I don’t know?”

He gives me a sad smile and tilts his head to one side. “No, and that’s what makes it so bad. That you know all this shit about him and yet, here we are.”

Pushing to his feet, he walks out of the weight room before I can wrap my lips around a response.

I sit and stare at the door long after he’s disappeared, my heart pounding against the walls of my chest. My emotions are all over the place now. I went from relief to anger to apprehension so quickly, my head’s spi

Storming out of the weight room, I make my way to the boxing room, flip on the lights and find myself a bag. I don’t waste time and begin slamming my fists into my defenseless, lifeless opponent as hard as I can. My anger takes over and my technique goes out the window. Gabe would have a heart attack if he saw my sloppy punches, but I don’t care. This isn’t about practice or skill. This is about unleashing everything boiling up inside of me before I lose my fucking mind.

I don’t know how long I go for, but I don’t stop, even when my hands start to hurt and my muscles scream for mercy. I push through the pain because my mind won’t let me stop. It won’t calm down or think rationally. It just keeps latching onto all the terrible things in my life that I can’t change or control. A part of me realizes that I’m likely punishing myself for everything I’ve done that’s hurt those around me, but I still don’t stop. I deserve the punishment. I deserve the pain. I deserve to suffer.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

I let out a startled scream and whirl around with my fists up, only to come face-to-face with a very pissed off Saint.

“Oh, shit, you scared me,” I gasp, exhaling as I bend forward with my hands on my knees.

“I scared you?” he asks incredulously, advancing on me. “You should be fucking scared, but not of me. What do you think you’re doing, wandering around campus by yourself at night when there’s a murderer on the loose, your pedophile ex-boyfriend walking free somewhere, mean girl bitches who’d love nothing more than to see you bleed to death, and the campus police, who are just looking for an excuse to bust your ski

The last few words are shouted, but when I stand upright, I square my shoulders, refusing to let him intimidate me.

“Well, shit, when you lay it all out like that, it really seems there’s danger waiting for me around every corner,” I joke, trying to make light of things. Still, his outburst is surprising. Is he really upset I’m out by myself, or is he just angry he woke up alone? If it’s the second one, he can suck a dick.