Saint

He’s here. He’s putting in effort. He’s showing me that I’m not just a steady fuck.

I’m something more.

With that thought making me giddy, I hurrying to my starting block and force my focus on my race, knowing he’ll be watching every move I make.

I walk into the auditorium after my swim meet riding a high. I won my race, and the entire crowd went crazy for me. It was the first time since coming to Angelview that I felt truly accepted, even for a moment. I know it likely won’t last, and half the school will be back to hating me in the morning, but I’m soaking up the feeling for as long as it lasts.

An assembly is scheduled for right after the meet to celebrate student achievements for the now completed fall sports. For once, I’m not dreading being stuck in a room full of my classmates. I’m not even stressed that I have two finals tomorrow that I need to study for. I’m prepared for them, and once their over, I’ll head back to Georgia to spend winter break with Carley. Everything is clicking for me right now. I’m not worried about Dylan or concerned about Saint. After a year of absolute shit, it kind of feels like things might be looking up for me at last.

That should’ve been my first clue that shit was about to hit the fan.

The awards presentation went on longer than was probably necessary, but several of the coaches and teachers didn’t bother to stick to the one-minute speech rule the headmaster laid out at the begi

To my complete and absolute shock, Saint and Laurel suddenly take the stage.

What the fuck? Why are they giving the a

My shoulders tense and there are alarms blaring in my head. Something’s wrong. Something’s very, very wrong.

But Saint wouldn’t do anything to hurt me, right? I’m just being paranoid and besides, Laurel is the president of the student council. Even though she would love nothing more than to publicly humiliate me to death, at least I know that he and I are past that.

We don’t hate each other anymore. We don’t want to destroy each other anymore.

Right?

My gut twists with dread as I sit and wait to see what they’re going to say.

“Thank you, Headmaster Aldridge,” Laurel says in that baby voice she uses when she wants extra attention. Turning her attention to the crowd, she smiles wide, but Saint remains silent behind her, his expression blank even as a muscle spasms furiously in his jaw. “First, before we get into anything with Winter Break, we are very excited to welcome a new member of the Angelview family. As many of you know, poor Mrs. Buckingham was forced into early retirement this year because of health issues. The administration has been hard at work searching for a new history teacher to replace her, and we are happy to say that they’ve found a wonderful candidate to fill the position.”

Oh. Okay. This is a seems safe enough. A new teacher is a good thing.

I release a sigh. I am just being paranoid.

Laurel raises her hand and speaks loudly into the microphone. “It is my pleasure to introduce our new faculty member, Mr. Dylan Porter!”

As the rest of the assembly applauds, my heart stops. At Laurel’s introduction, the new teacher steps out onto the stage and makes his way over to her. I’d know him anywhere. Even with his new haircut and short beard.

Dylan.

Dylan is the new teacher.

Dylan is going to be working at my school.

Dylan, James’ brother, who swore to never speak to me again. To hate me until his dying day.

What. The. Fuck?

My breathing becomes erratic as my gaze bounces from Dylan to Saint. I didn’t tell him about Dylan, did I? I’m certain I didn’t, but this can’t be a coincidence, even though it has to be because I just told him about James this morning. Saint’s not looking my way, though. His face is still an impassive mask, and it’s impossible to know what he’s thinking right now.

Please, God, don’t let him be behind this. Just let this be a twisted turn of fate.

Laurel’s talking again, but I don’t hear her. There’s a ringing in my ears that’s making it impossible to escape my thoughts. I turn from Saint and stare at Dylan, and as if he can feel my eyes on him, he turns and meets my gaze.

He doesn’t look surprised to see me, though he looks far from pleased about it. That means he knew I was here. Did he intentionally seek me out? Apply for this job, knowing I’d be a student?

So many questions are ru

“All right, everyone. Have a safe Winter Break, and remember, stay away from drugs.”

My entire body stiffens. It’s such a random thing for her to say. Such a random warning to give. It doesn’t make sense in the context of the rest of her speech, talking about winter sports schedules and test make-up opportunities. There are no other warnings about alcohol or unprotected sex.

Just drugs.

I know where this is going even before she turns her cruel, triumphant glare towards me.

“Doing drugs can have terrible consequences, as Mr. Porter is tragically all too aware of.”

I turn my eyes to Saint, but he’s still not looking at me, and now I can see that it’s intentional. My heart begins to crack at the realization of what’s happening.

“A year ago, Mr. Porter’s younger brother tragically died in a fire caused by a drug lab exploding.” With each word Laurel speaks, I go a little number inside. “James Porter was the quarterback of his high school’s wi

Look at me, Saint. Goddamn look at me!

Tears prick the corners of my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. Laurel is going on with her talk, and I ready myself for the coming blow because I know I can’t stop it now, not even if I try to leave. She wants her pound of flesh, and she’s about to claim it.

“But James Porter did not die because he himself was using drugs. No, he died a hero.” Laurel is upping the drama. Making it hurt so much more as she slowly twists the knife in my heart. “He was trying to save one of our own, Mallory Ellis, and her unborn baby from the unsafe living environment her mother had created for her. With the grace of God, though, the entire Porter family has chosen to forgive Je

The room goes very still as the information is absorbed by the masses. Slowly, people begin to turn to stare at me in shock. Then, a low murmur begins to fill the room as the whispers start up. I ignore them all, though. Their pettiness and disgust don’t matter right now.

I just keep staring at Saint, who hasn’t flinched, hasn’t moved a muscle the entire time he’s been up there.

He did this. He caused this all to happen. I trusted him with my secrets, and he betrayed me worse than anyone has in my entire life.

Worse than Je

Worse than Dylan.

My heart is shattering, and I can’t stop it. I don’t feel the pain because my body is shutting down. It knows I can’t handle what’s happening. Knows I’ll go insane if I feel everything my mind wants me to feel right now.