Saint

16

“Hey? Mallory? You okay?”

I startle and turn away from the shelf of portable light machines I’ve been blankly staring at for the past three minutes. Loni and Henry are both looking at me with raised brows.

“Yeah.” I nod and smile. “I’m great.”

“Mmhmm.” Loni doesn’t look convinced.

Which is fair because I’m far from great. It’s Saturday, five days since my attack at the pool, and I’m still freaking out over everything that happened. Since Laurel’s alibi was airtight—she and her cronies were publicly harassing some junior that looked at her fu

And I hate that this isn’t the first time he’s left me with that realization.

“If you’re not up to be out today, we could go back to campus,” Henry says, his expression concerned.

I try to look reassuring when I respond, “Guys, really, I’m fine. I just want to forget about the whole terrible ordeal, okay?”

Loni and Henry share a glance.

“All right,” Loni says at length, and he nods in agreement.

Ever since I told them what happened, they’ve been treating me like I’m a glass vase that’ll shatter at any moment. While I appreciate their care, their caution only makes me remember the incident, and I’d rather not think about it.

Once I’d reported the attack, the first half of my week was spent popping in and out of the headmaster’s office, talking to him, the police, and other administration. When I wasn’t speaking with them, I was on the phone with Carley convincing her that she didn’t have to come all the way out to California because, as I assured her repeatedly, I was fine.

But I’m not fine. I’m terrified and paranoid that I’m going to get jumped again at any moment. Name-calling and trash on my doorstep, I could handle. Hell, I could even deal with the destroyed uniforms, but now, it’s gotten physical and that determination to stay is wavering. I’m having a hard time being alone and have spent the last few nights with my desk chair wedged beneath my door. I was hoping that shopping for supplies for Parents’ Weekend with Loni and Henry would be enough to take my mind off things, but I keep spacing out.

Which of course, concerns my friends.

“Do we have everything we need for the picnic?” I ask in a husky voice, desperate to push the focus off me. Tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, I cock my eyebrow at Loni.

She pulls out her mile-long list and scans it as she nibbles on the tip of her thumbnail. “Everything’s ordered. We just need to finalize the number of balloons we want and tell the girl up front. Then we’ll pop over to the mall and start hunting down prizes for the games.”

“Great, let’s go.” I urge them down the aisle of the party-supply store toward the front so we can get the balloons ordered and move along.

Henry and I stand to the side as Loni chats with the cashier.

“So, I heard you’re trying out for the swim team,” he says after a few beats, and it sounds like he’s fishing for a safe topic of conversation.

I nod. “Yep, tryouts are next week.”

“You feel ready?”

“I do, actually. I’ve been getting in a lot practice at night.”

Sucking in a sharp breath, he spins to face me, hazel eyes crinkled at the corners. “You’ve been going this week? After what happened?”

“I … I have been. A couple times.” I debate whether I should tell him that, despite feeling unsafe in my own domain, I’m not scared when I’m in the pool.

Not when I have my own security detail there every night.

Monday through Wednesday, I was too freaked out to venture into the dark by myself to head to the pool. No matter how badly I wanted to, I’d open my door and feel paralyzed by fear. It wasn’t until Thursday night that I finally gathered up enough courage to make it across campus. I’d arrived at the pool with my heart racing and was nearly in tears because I knew it wasn’t going to work out for me.

Then, my attention landed on Liam, already in the pool, his tattooed arms slicing through the water as he swam laps.

He didn’t ask me any questions or make comments about my attack. We just swam together as usual, and it was so normal, that for a little while, I was able to put everything else from my mind. I’d almost expected Saint to burst in and disrupt us, but he never came. I returned to my dorm that night, feeling better than I had all week.

The next night, to my complete and utter shock, Gabe was the one waiting for me when I went for my late-night swim. Liam had been busy, so he’d told me he got to be my babysitter for the evening. Gabe didn’t swim, but he wasn’t as bad of company as I figured he might be. He also said nothing about the attack, and mostly sat on his phone while I did my laps, only speaking to me whenever I took a break.

It wasn’t until we were walking out of the athletic complex that I got the nerve to ask why he came, and Gabe had given me his usual smirk.

“Why do you think?” he’d retorted with a tilt of his red head. Before I could respond, he’d winked and taken off, just like he did the day he stole my underwear. “See you around, Ellis.”

Why did I think he came?

The answer was clear, even if it made me dizzy.

Saint.

The beautiful, infuriating boy who seems to be avoiding me completely.

I haven’t spoken to him since he dropped me off at the nurse’s office, and the only times I’ve seen him have been at a distance or in gym class. If we’re about to cross paths on campus, he always changes direction and goes a different way. It leaves me with an empty feeling in my chest because all I want to do is thank him for saving my life—again—but he’s not giving me the chance.

His lips were pressed to mine…

I shake my head to try and dispel the stupid thought that’s been sneaking into my brain all week. Thanking him is not the reason I want to talk to him. Not at all.

Loni finishes up with the cashier and comes bounding toward us with a wide smile, her red skirt fa

Henry and I nod in unison. “Yep,” I say, though now my mind is focused solely on Saint.

I need to tell him how grateful I am, so I stop feeling indebted to him.

Yeah. That’s all that I want.

My heart is hammering in my chest as I make my way to the pool that night. I’m nervous, hoping it’s Saint whose waiting for me tonight. So that I can properly thank him.

That’s all. I tell myself that over and over again, but I’d probably have an easier time convincing myself if I hadn’t worn my bikini tonight instead of my one-piece.

I grip the front of my shirt in a tight fist.

What the fuck do I think I’m doing?

My feelings toward Saint are … complicated, but he saved my life. I also can’t forget the sensation of his lips against mine, no matter how hard I try. I still don’t like him—I doubt I ever will—but I don’t think I really hate him either.

I’m a goddamn mess.

I hurry through the rec center and pause at the pool room entrance to take a fortifying breath. Raising my chin, I push open one of the doors and step inside.

“Sup, Mal?”

My heart sinks all the way to floor as disappointment crashes through me. Gabe is sitting on the bleachers next to the pool, his phone in his hand. There’s no sign of Saint anywhere. Again.