Night shifts black

“Sweeny’s lick,” Casey murmurs, and Luke nods, raising his eyes to meet Casey’s.

“For the bridge. I think we just layer rhythm for the chorus. Maybe some killer reverb on the ‘hello’ vocal?”

Casey nods. “Definitely. I was thinking even a tight band-pass filter on the second line.”

Luke considers that and shrugs. “Yeah, that could work too. I’m hearing it.”

They continue like that for a few minutes, and my jaw is on the floor. They’re too wrapped up to notice.

I think I’m the only one who heard Luke use the word “we.”

∞∞∞

“How easy do you think it would be to get into Jackson Street tomorrow?” Casey asks once they finally seem content with whatever they’d just created in their heads. “I know we haven’t used them in a while, but Julian’s a pro.”

Luke shrugs. “I don’t know. TJ might be able to get you in. You want to lay some of this down?”

It’s Casey’s turn to shrug. “Thinking about it. Why not? It’s out there now. Might as well see what it sounds like. Wish we were home and could just use our own stuff, but Jackson Street is cool. Julian has gear we can use, right?”

Luke nods. “Probably. He’s got his studio guys, too, if you want to mess around. You might need to give him a heads up though so he can get them in. Send TJ a work tape. He’ll lose his mind.”

Casey nods, and I can see something change in his expression. He’s going to ask. I know it. We all know it.

Luke swallows and shakes his head. At least he’s not angry this time. Sad, more than anything. I can see it hurts him to keep letting Casey down. I can see how much he loves him.

“I can’t, man. You know that. I just…” He stops and draws in a deep breath. “You’ve got my support on this.”

Casey deflates, and my heart breaks at his disappointment. “Yeah, no, of course,” he says with a weak smile. “It would have been…no, yeah.” He lets out a dry laugh, but there’s no humor in it.

“Good luck, though. I think you have something,” Luke offers as consolation. He clasps his friend’s shoulder as he passes, and I watch Casey try to put himself back together.

I’m not sure what to say when we’re alone. I don’t want to embarrass him, but it also kills me to watch the previous joy siphoned out of him. Hope can be a devastating thing, and when it comes to Luke, it often proves to be even more treacherous.

“I should go call TJ and see if he can set something up.,” Casey mutters. I’m not even sure he’s talking to me.

“Casey…”

He pushes up from the table and waves me off. “It’s fine. Not a big deal.” But he’s lying, and we both know it. “I’ll be back in a few minutes,” he says, pulling out his phone.

Alone again, I sigh and study the empty lunch dishes in frustration.

∞∞∞

When it rains it pours. TJ isn’t able to get Casey into the studio until Friday, which is four days later than he wanted. The setback also gives me the opportunity to watch Casey sulk for the first time. Luke’s rejection, coupled with his frustrated creativity, is apparently more than he can handle at once, and after two hours of watching them pout alone in silence, I finally get sick of both of them.

Casey doesn’t seem as upset as I would have hoped when I tell him I’m going back to my place for a bit. I need to check in on my own life, as well as collect some more supplies. Maybe even do laundry. He does little more than shrug and tell me he’ll let me know if anything comes up. I’m hurt, but I get it, and give him the space he seems to so desperately want.

It would have been fu

It’s almost strange being back in my apartment. So much has changed in the last few days, I’ve changed, and it almost doesn’t feel like home anymore. Not that Luke’s place does either. Maybe it’s that I’ve realized I don’t really have a home, just places I live. Is that how Luke and Casey feel? Always moving, never belonging. What’s changed is that the thought doesn’t totally make me sad anymore. It’s hard to feel lonely when I’ve just spent days filling myself to the brink with two incredible people. I’m almost exhausted from it, and yet, I find myself missing them already. It’s absurd, I know. I’d been so eager for air and space, and now I keep checking my phone in hopes of closing the gap again.

I set to work, mostly to distract myself, and begin tidying up a bit, collecting my dirty clothes, and shoving a fresh supply of travel necessities into a bag for when I return to the suite. There were several items I’d wished I’d had over the last couple days, and I run a mental checklist as I survey my apartment. When I get to my bed, I stop with a sigh, realizing I should probably stay here for the night. I can’t actually live in Suite 403, right? Crashing there on occasion is fine, but…

Yeah, I’m staying here. It’s settled. I’ll give Casey his space, Luke his privacy. Maybe even give them time alone to repair and explore what they can’t when I’m there. And goodness knows there’s plenty for them to repair and explore.

My phone buzzes and I glance down in anticipation, instinctively gri

My phone rings a second later, and I shake my head with a smile.

“Tomorrow?” he asks, clearly not happy.

“Yeah, I thought you guys should have some time alone. Like I said, I have a lot to take care of here,” I lie. He’s still quiet, and I glance at the clock. “Besides, it’s already three. You guys have been great, but I’m not going to take advantage of your hospitality.”

I can feel his scoff through the phone. “Yeah, because that’s what this is. Us being nice,” he mutters.

“That’s not what I mean. I miss you already, it’s just… I don’t know. It would be weird for me to be there all the time. Remember how freaked out you were when you thought I had moved in?”

He’s quiet again, and I wish I could see his face to read his silence. “No, I get it. If that’s what you want. Ok, well, I should get going. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Casey…” I don’t want to part with him upset.

“What? I said I get it.”

“I don’t think you do.”

“I’m not going to beg you to come back,” he snaps, and my stomach drops. He hasn’t spoken to me like that since we’d become friends. It’s my first reminder that he’s human, too. Maybe even slightly more entitled than I want him to be.

Even the perfect ones can’t be perfect all the time.

“Come on, I would never expect you to. You know that. I’m amazed you even talk to me at all.”

He’s quiet again. I can hear his sigh through the phone. “Callie, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. It’s been…I don’t know…it’s been a weird day. I know I was acting like an idiot when you left. I know why you did, but I regretted it as soon as you were gone. It’s better when you’re here. I don’t know why, it just is.”

I take a deep breath, feeling better for a dozen reasons.