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Because I would have.
If the sound of something crashing behind me didn't snag my attention.
Tyrone yells in pain and Jackson slams a fist into my chest. I spring up and we both rush over to Tyrone who's lying face down on the floor because he flung himself out of his wheelchair.
Because he was trying to stop me from killing Jackson.
Pure murder is in Jackson's eyes right now and I know if either of us strike up again...someone will end up dead.
We both grab one of Tyrone's arms and heave him back into his chair.
The look on his face is like nothing I've ever seen before. He looks devastated...like someone crushed his spirit.
He runs a hand over his head and looks between us. “Jackson you have no right to demand that Ricardo kill someone. You out of everyone should know the weight that carries on someone's soul...so where the fuck do you get off demanding something like that from him?”
Jackson looks about as shocked as I feel. “Well he—you know what he does. And Travine obviously wants—”
“Lou-Lou,” Tyrone says, cutting him off. “Look, I know you're scared, man. I get it. You got a baby on the way and this shit with Travine has you spooked because of Alyssa's ties to him. But you know Ricardo has always had our backs...always. And even though he's killed for us before...that don't mean you can demand or use him like that, brother. It ain't right. It makes you no better than what you accused him of being.”
Jackson falls back against the wall. “Shit. I didn't—”
“And you.”
Tyrone's eyes turn to me and I've never felt the impact of another man's stare more. “You leave your ghosts at the door when you're here. We don't owe you a damn thing, Ricardo. We paid the DeLuca debt in full...and if you need a reminder—come by and let me show you what it's like when you wake up in the morning—get up out of bed and try to walk...but can't...because you can't move your fucking legs—but for that brief moment when you first woke up, you forgot and tried anyway.”
My stomach knots and shame impales me. “Tyrone—”
He points a finger at me. “You want our loyalty and respect? Well you have it. But not because it has anything to do with your blood family...because we're your real family. You hear me?”
When I don't answer him, he grabs my collar. “The DeLuca's are many things...none of them good. But they're not your family. Now I know you got your demons—and because I'm your brother and not your damn soulmate, I'm not privy to all of them—but don't you ever pull a gun on any one of us again.”
His gaze ping-pongs between us both. “Now apologize...because I can take a lot of shit. Losing my freedom and selling my soul to work for an underground fight club—hell, even losing my damn legs—but I can't take losing my family. We'll never be as strong as we all are together. Momma always told me everything happens for a reason...and that even the worst things can bring about the best things. But I never believed it...not until I met you two...my brothers.”
He gestures to all three of us. “It's supposed to be us against the world, not us against each other.”
“He's right,” Jackson says, looking at me now. “But sometimes I hate you, Ricardo. Or rather, it's not you I hate...but I hate where you come from. DeLuca destroyed not only my life, but the lives of everyone I care about, including yours. Now I know you're not him...but it's hard not to think about what will happen if that switch in you ever flips. It makes it hard to trust you...but Tyrone's right. You've always had our backs, you've never once faltered...and I know you don't kill people because you enjoy it. You do it because they deserve it. You do it because you have no choice but to kill the bad guys...so in my heart of hearts I know you wouldn't hurt us.”
My stomach twists and he looks me in the eyes. “I'm sorry—I'm sorry I was a dick.”
He runs a hand over his face. “I can't lie, I'd like to know why Gaffney ended up dead and not Travine...but I won't push it, because I know there's a damn good reason behind it.”
He has no idea.
“Sorry for holding a gun up to your head,” I mumble in his direction. “And you two don't owe me or the DeLuca's anything. You're right Tyrone, both your debts are paid in full.”
I get up off the floor and swallow the bitter pill in the form of a lie I'm about to tell them.
“I don't know why Gaffney ended up dead. As far as I know right now, it was an accident.”
People are easy to manipulate when they have a false sense of security.
“But I'm going to find out for sure and I'm going to handle everything. I don't think there's any foul play involved in Gaffney's death, but if I find out there is, then I'll take it from there.”
Jackson sits up straight. “I guess that explains why you're still keeping Lou-Lou locked up for the time being. This way you can be smart about your next move.”
When I nod Jackson shakes his head solemnly. “And she can't know he's alive because of what I'm assuming is a horrible past...and you can't tell her that you're only keeping her hostage right now, not because you want to; but because you're trying to protect her from her father until you can kill him.”
If only it was that simple. If only I could kill him. If only my ultimatum from the DeLuca council and the only solution at the moment didn't involve killing the two men right before me for a chance to save her.
“Yeah, pretty much.”
“Damn, man. Talk about a rock and a hard spot,” Jackson says, getting up. “No wonder you went all ape-shit on me.”
Tyrone's face lights up. “Wait a minute...can't you get the DeLuca council to help you out? I don't know much about them, but I know because you're blood they're loyal to you. So can't they—”
“The DeLuca's don't get involved with certain things,” I lie. “And the DeLuca council definitely won't help protect Lou-Lou from that piece of shit, Travine. They won't harm her...but they made it clear that this is my battle. I have to take care of the Travine situation myself.”
And find a way to do it that doesn't end in both your deaths.
Tyrone scratches the back of his head. “Hold up, I don't understand. Lou-Lou's important to you, so important, she's the reason you took your place. Shouldn't that make her important to them? Hell, shouldn't that make us all somewhat important to them? You know, that whole 'welcome to the family' type shit.”
Not when the outsiders are more important to a mob boss than their blood family it doesn't.
“Theoretically yes...but—” I pause because my heart's now in my throat. “The council won't protect Lou-Lou,” I finally manage to answer.
That's when Jackson looks at me with sadness in his eyes, because he knows exactly why Lou-Lou's no longer important to the DeLuca family council and why they don't care if she lives or dies...although they're really wishing for the latter.
“They're assholes,” Jackson mutters.
Tyrone looks between us. “I don't follow, why—”
“Stop, Tyrone,” Jackson bites out. “That's a conversation for another day.”
Jackson puts a hand on my shoulder and walks me to the door.
“Thanks.” I avert my gaze. “For that.”
“I know you don't talk about it...but if you ever need to. I'm only a phone call away.”
He digs his hands in his pockets and attempts a smile. “Provided you're not go