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Chapter 6 (Ricardo)
I roll my shoulders back and pinch the bridge of my nose. This is the last place in the world I want to be right now.
I still haven't received any updates on the P.I. team's progress or from my own men that I sent out to find her.
And every hour that goes by—
No.
I won't let myself think about that. Because that douche-bag was wrong.
Lou-Lou wouldn't do that. She's too strong to give up, that girl's a fighter if there ever was one.
She's a goddamn survivor...my survivor.
The council is right—she is my weak spot, I'll never deny that.
And not even God can help the motherfucker who would be stupid enough to ever try and take her out of this world.
Granted, I still have no idea who the hell said motherfucker is yet...or why the council is teaming up with them...or why this person would target those I care about...specifically her in the first place.
The only enemies I have are new ones, courtesy of my current lifestyle—however, for someone to apparently make a threat so personal against me—means I must have done something personal to them at some point in time.
And I'm drawing a blank on who checks that box.
I was pla
Evidently the idiot swallowed a light bulb and the new guard on duty didn't know the drill when it came to him...so he dispatched medical and off Ford fucking went.
Of course, I had every intention of paying a visit to him today...
But then she happened.
The sweetest, yet scariest woman in the world—Momma.
Momma—who somehow tracked down the address of my new house and showed up on my doorstep this morning.
Momma—who threatened to put a serious hurtin' on Marlene if she didn't see to it that I show up at Tyrone's and spend some time with everyone today.
Which brings me to my current state of events—watching Momma's eyebrows shoot up as she appraises me from head to toe. “Never pegged you as the type to wear a suit, sugar. Who died?”
Beside me, Tyrone snorts and I glare at him as Shelby smacks his head.
Everyone knows what I do now—everyone but Momma.
Don't get me wrong, the woman is far from stupid and I'm sure she suspects exactly what and who I am—it's just something we've never outright talked about.
I avert my gaze because there's no way I can look the woman in those sweet ebony eyes of hers and lie straight to her face. “No one died, Momma,” I mumble. “I just got out of a business meeting.”
Her lips draw in a tight line and she makes a face. “I see.”
“And that's my cue to leave,” Tyrone mutters as he flips the handle on his wheelchair and heads for the door.
Shelby's eyes dart around the room nervously and she hikes a thumb in the direction of the bedroom. “And I'm go
Dammit. Abandoned by my own flock.
Momma folds her arms across her chest and exhales sharply. “What the hell are you doing to yourself, baby?”
It's not the concern in her voice that causes the ice around my heart to start thawing. It's the love behind those words.
It's the fact that even though I exchange less words with this woman than I do with anyone else in my life...Momma's always been able to read certain parts of me like a book.
When I don't answer, her eyes start to water and she throws her arms around me before I have a chance to stop her.
I'd be lying if I didn't admit to myself that for a moment, I want to launch myself across her lap and sob like a small boy. I want to tell her how much I miss Lou-Lou—how much I'm secretly grieving the baby we lost—and how fucking scared I am that someone out there is going to harm her and I won't be able to stop them in time...but I can't.
So I don't.
Instead, I push her away and take a step back.
Because crying in Momma's arms like some kind of sissy won't heal me and it certainly won't fix me.
The broken might find a way to glue those fucked up pieces back together...but they don't ever really repair.
And I've learned it's best to use those pieces as weapons so no one else ever gets the chance to fuck you up ever again.
I care about them, and I'd do anything to protect them...but there will always be a wall around me that no one can penetrate.
Because although they have all suffered, lost, and hurt at some point in their lives—they gravitate toward the light because that's where they long to be. That's where their souls were always meant to be.
They're the good people. The beautiful people.
The monsters in the dark don't call to them—because they fear them.
But me? I find my solace there.
And I don't fear them...because I'm one of them.
“Don't touch me.” My voice comes out hard and rough and Momma stares at me in shock.
“I can't—I can't hug you anymore?”
Her lower lip quivers and even though there's so much pain in her eyes, I still don't falter. “No.”
Her eyebrows crash together and she opens her mouth like she wants to either scream at me or give me a sermon, but instead she shakes her head softly and says, “Okay, sugar. You let me know if that changes.”
I lift my chin and walk out the door...and the small sob that escapes her guts me.
But not nearly as much as what I'll be seeing when I open the door to Jackson and Alyssa's apartment.
I hesitate when my hand lands on the doorknob. It's getting harder to be around her the bigger her belly grows.
Because in my mind? All I see is Lou-Lou...pregnant with our baby.
The baby that was taken away from her...from us...because of me.
However, the sound of Tyrone yelling, "That's disgusting. Why the hell would you eat that?” has me barging through the door and growling, "She's pregnant, you idiot. Leave her alone."
Jackson's eyes meet mine and an understanding passes between us in the exchange.
He's the only one who knows about Lou-Lou and the baby...and the look in his eyes right now tells me that he just put two and two together and figured out my real reason for moving out and away from everyone.
Alyssa looks up in my direction and smiles as I hear Momma's footsteps approaching behind me.
She then shoots Tyrone a nasty look and slathers more mustard and ice cream on her pickle. "Where's Shelby?" She inquires between mouthfuls. "She's usually around to keep you in line."
"Very fu
"I can't wait,” Alyssa says without stopping for air. “It's going to be so fun. Did she tell you I found the perfect tablecloth pattern and the—"
"Thanks a lot, Tyrone. See what you started?" Jackson mumbles and I take the opportunity to pull out my phone and check for an update from the P.I. team.
"I think it's wonderful him and Shelby are tying the knot. Question is...when are you two lovebirds getting married?" Momma chimes in and I inwardly groan on behalf of Jackson.
"I figure we'd focus on one thing at a time, Momma," Jackson says as he places a hand on Alyssa's belly. "You know, get out of jail first, have the baby—and then get married."