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Chapter 39 (Ricardo)
I'm ru
I grab some nurse and force her to tell me where my girl is. When she looks confused, I'm about to charge and rip her to pieces, but then I hear Tyrone calling my name frantically from the end of the hall.
I run full speed ahead. I don't know what the hell is going on, but when Lou-Lou called me in hysterics and said she was on her way to the hospital, I dropped everything.
And I mean everything...including the rapist waiting for me at the warehouse. I'll deal with that sack of shit later.
Because there's nothing more important than Lou-Lou.
Tyrone eyes the large bandage wrapped around my hand and forearm briefly but he's too choked up right now to form words.
I look at Shelby next but she's sobbing into a tissue.
I love these people and I don't want to threaten them, especially since they're so upset, but if someone doesn't tell me what's going on in the next two seconds I'm going to lose my fucking shit.
I feel Momma's hand on my shoulder and I spin around. “What happened?”
She swallows hard through her own tears. “Alyssa, she's—”
I let myself feel relief for a moment, thankful it's not Lou-Lou.
Then I march right through the door.
I'm almost positive I'm not allowed in here, and I probably shouldn't be in here, but I don't care.
My stomach sways when I enter the room which is flooded with a sea of medical perso
Lou-Lou's with a distraught Jackson on the sidelines trying to comfort him. I don't know what's happening but I do notice Alyssa's bleeding and that can't be a good thing.
My heart sinks and I squeeze Jackson's shoulder.
He turns to face me, appearing to be fighting his hardest to keep it together.
“What—”
“Her blood pressure was slightly elevated during yesterday's appointment. The doctor ordered some tests and told her to take it easy and he would phone her with the results. We went home after and she rested like he told her to.”
He rubs his neck and looks down at the floor. “When she woke up this morning, she was complaining of bad cramps. She went to the bathroom and there was blood. I called her doctor and he said to bring her straight here.”
He holds himself steady against the wall. “The doctor told me her placenta separated and she's starting to lose blood.” He rubs his eyes. “They want to save the baby, but the only way of saving him is if they can get Alyssa's bleeding under control and she has an emergency c-section soon.”
His voice cracks and he buries his face in his hands, unable to continue speaking.
That's when Lou-Lou looks at me. “She's only 31 weeks and when she asked the doctor about the baby's chance of survival and he didn't give her a guarantee, she got really upset—she refuses to let anyone touch her now and she's refusing to go into surgery.”
“She's so scared,” Jackson whispers. “She let them give her a steroid shot when we arrived, but other than that, she won't let anyone talk to her anymore; not even me. Every time I do, she just—”
“She's not exactly what you would call pleasant right now, especially to Jackson,” Lou-Lou says. “The doctors and nurses are pressuring him to make a decision because time is of the essence, but Alyssa keeps screaming that the baby's not ready to come out yet and that he needs more time. Jackson thought it might help if I come in here and talk to her. I haven't yet, but I'm going to. I'm just not sure there's anything I can say to calm her fears. I'm afraid I'll only make them worse.”
She looks up at me through glassy eyes and I go to reach for her hand but Momma enters the room just then.
She kisses Lou-Lou's cheek and hands her a bag. “I was able to get what you asked me for, sugar.”
“Thank you.” She looks around the room. “I—um. Can some of you leave please?”
Lou-Lou starts walking toward Alyssa. “I need to have a private conversation and unless you're the doctor or family, I'd rather not do it in front of everyone.”
She looks at Penelope who nods and starts ushering people out.
Alyssa doesn't yell or curse when Lou-Lou sits down on the bed and I hear Jackson's sigh of relief.
Lou-Lou whispers something low enough that only Alyssa can hear and my stomach knots when Alyssa starts crying even harder.
Jackson's about to walk over, but Lou-Lou hands her the bag.
When Alyssa pulls out a plush bu
Thumper.
Lou-Lou whispers something else to Alyssa and this time, whatever she says must be the right thing to say because Alyssa nods and wraps her arms around her.
Lou-Lou quickly calls Jackson over. Alyssa hands him the bu
A moment later, he leans over and kisses her.
A second after that, the doctor starts barking out orders and the room becomes a circus.
I reach for Lou-Lou's hand in the middle of the chaos and we walk out of the room.
She doesn't say a word to me or anyone else in the waiting room. She just curls up in my lap, closes her eyes, and rests her head against my chest.
I rock her in my arms and I tell her how much I love her, how strong she is, and that she's not alone.
An hour later Jackson walks into the waiting room, bu
“The baby's in NICU for observation, but I have a healthy son!” He looks up to the ceiling. “And a healthy Alyssa.”
There are hugs and cheers all around.
“I'm so fucking happy for you, brother.” I pull Jackson into a hug. “Congratulations, you're go
He grins from ear to ear. “Thank you.” He looks around. “Where's Lou-Lou? I need to thank her for before.”
I scan the waiting room but don't see her either. She was here just a moment ago. How the hell did she slip past everyone?
I look down the hallway and check the cafeteria.
Then intuition hits me right in the gut...I know exactly where she is.
The wooden door creaks when I open it and walk inside the dimly lit church.
My heart pounds and sorrow fills my blood when I see her strike a match and light the votive candle, the tears falling down her face like rain.
If there was ever anything I could ever wish for in the world—it would be to give her back what was taken from us.
Because no one deserves to be a mother more than my Lou-Lou does. No one has more love in her heart to give.
I take a few steps forward but stop and stare at her, wishing I could erase the past and all the horrible things that have happened to her.
I don't deserve good things. I never will.
But Lou-Lou?
She deserves every bit of happiness.
My girl deserves the whole entire world.
And for reasons I'll never understand, she wants me in that world, right beside her.
It's something I won't ever take for granted.
She calls my name and I'm next to her a moment later, holding her as she falls apart in my arms.
I'm not going to ask her if she's okay because I know she's not. I'm not going to tell her it will get better, because the ache will always be there.
She drops to the floor and I fall too, assuring her that I'm here with her for as long as she needs me to be, because that's the one thing I can do.