Blame it on the shame Part 2

Chapter 36 (Ricardo)

Momma's eyes scan the breakfast table until they land on me. "I reckon I'm go

I can feel everyone's eyes on me with that statement and I inwardly cringe. Especially now that Alyssa and Jackson have officially made up. I guess they're expecting me to follow suit with Lou-Lou. Fat fucking chance.

There are just some things you can't forgive...or forget. Like when the love of your life marries your father who wants to kill you.

I give Momma a small nod, hoping she'll drop it.

She wipes her hands on her apron and studies my face. "Hmm."

Here we go.

"Hmm?...what's hmm?"

I don't understand what Momma's issue is anyway. She never even liked Lou-Lou. Hell, the last time she saw her she was literally throwing her out the door and comparing her to trash.

"Well," she starts. "I never thought I'd say this because that Lou-Lou girl really dills my pickle, especially after she pulled that stunt. But maybe you ought to suck it up and talk to her. That sparkle in your eyes is dimmer, Ricardo. That girl had some kinda effect on you whether you're willing to admit it or not."

Yeah, I'll say.

Beside me, Tyrone grins. "That's what I've been telling him, Momma."

I roll my eyes. This is the last thing I want to deal with right now.

"You know," Jackson chimes in. "I have to say. I'm on their side of the fence now. Ru

Not exactly.

Christ, if they only knew that just last night I held a knife up to Lou-Lou's throat and threatened her.

I highly doubt they'd still be encouraging me to talk to her.

Hell, Momma would probably kill me herself.

Although, she'd probably kill Lou-Lou too once she heard she was trying to kill me.

Goddamn, my life is a fucking mess. I'm pretty sure it can't get any worse.

I look up to the ceiling. Don't take that as a challenge, God.

To everyone's surprise, Alyssa nods. "It's true. Don't get me wrong, I was pissed at what Jackson did that night. But, I wanted nothing more than to talk to him and work out our issues. I'm sure she feels the same about you. I don't like Lou-Lou...for obvious reasons. But it's obvious that you both have something—" She pauses and makes a face. "Well, you have something together. And if she makes you happy that's all that really matters."

She used to make me happy. Until she showed me what a deceitful, lying, manipulative bitch she really was.

Dammit, I need to deflect the attention off of Lou-Lou and me.

I look at Jackson and give him a wink. "Hey, Jackson. Did you tell Momma how you basically said that Alyssa was nothing but a good time at the bar that night?"

Momma gasps and reaches for a newspaper. She's about two seconds away from swatting him on the head with it again.

"He was drunk, Momma. He didn't mean it," Alyssa says, rushing to Jackson's defense.

Momma puts the newspaper down and picks up the spatula instead. Then she turns her gaze on Alyssa. "You work at a bar, young lady?"

I can't help but smile. Momma might be the sweetest woman in the world...but she's also old-fashioned as hell when it comes to certain things.

Women working at bars being one of those things. Jackson gives me a dirty look and my smile grows wider.

Alyssa crinkles her nose. "Well, yeah. I mean, it's nothing crazy or anything. It's low-key and—"

Momma cuts her off. "Do you really think that's safe? You're a pretty young thing...who knows what could happen to you." She points the spatula at Jackson. "I can't believe you're okay with this, Jackson."

Looks like my work here is done. Tyrone looks at me and shakes his head, a ghost of a smile on his face.

I hum to myself and finish the rest of my breakfast as I listen to Momma and Alyssa go back and forth and she rips into Jackson about needing to be a better boyfriend.

I'm about to walk into my apartment when I hear Tyrone say, "I'm going over to check on Lou-Lou. I just thought you should know."

My jaw clenches and I tell myself not to turn around so I don't knock him out.

"Stay away from her," I warn. "She's bad news."

"She's not bad news, Ricardo." He lets out a long sigh. "If she was bad news she wouldn't have bothered to call me

the other night when Jackson was in trouble."

That's when I do turn around. "Jackson was in trouble the other night?"

A few nights ago Alyssa ended up getting sick and we took her to the hospital...but I was there for that.

"Not that kind of trouble. Lilly stuff." He jerks a shoulder up. "And Alyssa stuff. But obviously he's doing much better now."

"That's good," I say, although I can't help but feel a little a

"Yeah, it is," he says. "Anyway, I highly doubt she wants to see me, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to drop off a plate of Momma's food for her." He looks down. "Damn girl gets ski

My chest tightens with the truth of that statement. Just because I hate

her, it doesn't mean I haven't noticed the way she's changed. Or the way it makes my heart ache. She's always been tiny, but lately, it's like

she's disappearing right before everyone's eyes.

"I—" I shove my hands into my pockets. "I think that's a good idea," I say before I can stop myself.

He waggles his eyebrows at me before he starts heading down the

hallway.

I fight the jealousy and the urge to push him out of the way because it should be me going to see her.