Blame it on the shame Part 2

Chapter 31 (Ricardo)

I stand back and take another swing, my knuckles cracking under the pressure.

The bag swings back with a force great enough I hear the hinges creak.

I hit the bag again and I hear a ripping sound.

The sound reminds me of when I ripped Lou-Lou's jacket open almost a week ago and I bring my hand back again.

When her face is replaced by DeLuca's, I let my fist go.

This time, I deal a left hook and the bag comes off the hinges entirely and slides across the floor.

A light in the gym flickers on and I spin around.

"Didn't you just have that bag replaced?" Emilio greets me.

I shrug and reach for my water bottle. "What's your point?"

He looks around the empty gym and sighs. "You've been ignoring me for the last week."

"What's your point?" I repeat. Besides, we both know it's been a lot longer than a week.

He takes a step forward. "What you did to her that night was out of line."

"She deserved it." I glare at him. "She's trying to kill me, remember?"

An unsettling suspicion snakes its way around my gut. "Since when are you so worried about her anyway? Last time I checked, you warned me not to trust her." I raise my chin. "I guess she managed to get under your skin, too." I tip my water bottle in his direction. "Can't say I blame you. The bitch has a damn good pussy. Hell, it's the only thing she's got going for her. Might as well take advantage of it."

Emilio stares at me in shock. "Dammit, Ricardo. This isn't—" He stops and shakes his head. "Your mother would be ashamed of you," he whispers.

I can't help but laugh. I laugh so hard he looks at me like I'm crazy.

"She was already ashamed of me, remember?" I look at him. "Not that the opinion of some stupid junkie whore really matters to me anymore."

Emilio's eyes look like they're about to pop right out of his damn head.

I throw a sweatshirt on and dig my black gloves out of my gym bag.

He starts to walk toward the front door but I halt him. "I'm flying solo on this one."

"Ricardo," he says in warning as I push past him.

"By the way," I call out when I reach the front door. "I think I figured out a way to get DeLuca off my back once and for all."

His face turns white and I feel my hate pulse through me right before I say, "I have to get rid of the one and only thing he loves."

"You still love her, Ricardo," he says, his jaw ticking. "You can't kill her."

I open my mouth to protest but he cuts me off. "You can try and deny it all you want, but you know it's true."

I slam the front door with my fist, hating that he's right. I could never actually kill her. Truth be told, I'm disgusted I even thought about it. Despite her having no reservations about doing the same to me.

He walks across the room and pulls out his cell phone. "We'll figure out something else."

"Okay," I say, as I watch his face fall and he pales.

I'm about to ask what his problem is but he mumbles, "I have to go." right before he runs out the door.

I debate going after him, but instead; another overwhelming urge hits me.

I take off in the opposite direction, toward the apartment. My heart feeling like it's being pulverized the entire time.

I don't stop until I reach her door. I use my key and barge right in, heading straight for the bathtub; hoping my worst fear isn't confirmed.

I breathe a sigh of relief when I don't find her there, but it's quickly replaced by panic when I notice her apartment's completely empty.

I check the date on my phone. It's still too early for DeLuca to be in town, so where the hell could she be?

I dial Emilio's number and he answers on the first ring. "Yeah. He's in town," is all he says before he hangs up.

Feeling like an idiot for getting myself all riled up for absolutely no reason, I storm out of her apartment.

This time, I stuff down the gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach.