Blame it on the shame Part 2

Chapter 28 (Lou-Lou)

 

My hand twitches as I turn the doorknob to his bedroom and walk inside.

When I see the back of his over-sized leather chair and the smoke from his cigar floating in the air, I fight back a shiver.

I'm immediately transported back to that night so long ago. The night I first told him that I loved him...the night he took my virginity.

God, that girl was so naïve. She had no idea that the man she deemed her protector...was the very same monster lurking under her bed the entire time.

His chair begins to turn and I force myself to stand tall.

DeLuca's cold, dark eyes appraise me up and down for a lengthy minute. "You're wearing my favorite dress," he says after what feels like forever. "No one can wear the color red quite like you can."

His eyes soften for the briefest of seconds and I'm immediately on edge. "You look beautiful, Bambina."

I cross my arms over my chest, attempting to shield myself from his intrusive gaze.

He gives me a knowing smirk and I feel myself shrink down. That smirk tells me what I already know. I can't ever hide from him.

I close my eyes and remember Emilio's words from earlier. "Please, do whatever it takes in order to protect yourself. If not for you...then for him."

The smoke from his cigar wafts in front of my face and I can't help but cough.

"Does it hurt?" he asks, his jaw hardening.

I open my mouth to ask what in particular he's referring to, but his eyes darken and he cuts me off. "Seeing him every day?" He leans back in his chair and folds his hands in front of him. "Knowing he'll never look at you the same way again? Knowing he'll never love you again?"

I look down and swallow the lump forming in my throat. Then I raise my chin defiantly before hissing, "Yes."

His mouth curves into the most sinister smile I've ever seen. "Good." His eyes burn into me and I feel my breath leave my lungs. "Now you know how I feel."

He sits up in his seat. "I've loved you since the moment I first saw you." He stabs his cigar into the ashtray violently. "I didn't give a fuck that you were only 15. You were and still are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. I had to have you back then...and I knew I'd do anything to make it happen." He rubs his lower lip with his thumb, staring at me intently. "That hasn't changed, Lucia

I don't know why he's being so candid about all this with me right now. It's starting to remind me of the past. Back when we used to talk about anything and everything.

Back when I felt safe and thought he was my savior.

He crooks a finger at me and pats his leg.

I walk over to him, my heart beating erratically the entire time.

I start to kneel down in front of him, but to my surprise—he pulls me onto his lap, then he shifts me until he's holding me in his arms. Just like he used to.

His hand lands on my thigh and he rests his chin on top of my head. "Remember when we used to stay up talking all night and I held you in my arms just like this?"

I give him a small nod because it's all I can manage. This conversation and the way he's acting is severely screwing with me and I don't know how to make it stop.

Because I can't.

His grip on my thigh tightens. "Remember the night you told me about all the things he did to you and I swore on everything I ever loved that I'd kill him for you?"

"I remember," I say, blinking back tears. "I could never forget because you were the first person I ever told."

He sweeps my hair aside and kisses the spot just under my ear. "I know, Bambina." He slides a finger under my chin, lifting my head up. "You were my brave little broken bird...the beautiful girl who managed to steal my heart when I didn't even have one."

I can't control the tears streaming down my face because there was a time I once loved this man. Actually loved him.

There was a time I would have done anything for him, followed him anywhere...including the fiery pits of hell where my heart and soul currently reside.

He turns me ever so slightly so that I'm facing him directly. He raises my hand and kisses my left ring finger. "Love me again, Bambina. Tell me what I have to do to make you love me again."

The tears fall faster because I know the truth—Nothing.

There's nothing that could ever take back what he did.

However, there's something I desperately need from him—but of course, it's also the one thing I can't ever request.

Ricardo's safety.

Nevertheless, there might be a way to get it if I play along.

Besides, I doubt I'll have to do it for long anyway. A few months, tops.

By then the council will realize DeLuca didn't break the curse and come to the unanimous decision to protect Ricardo.

Then I can strike.

But first I have to pull out all the stops...and that requires making him think that what he wants...is exactly what I want.

But I can't do that without snapping the last part of myself that's still holding me together...the part that's barely hanging on by a thread.

It's the only way, I remind myself. Despite my hate for Ricardo...I refuse to let DeLuca kill him.

I grab both his cheeks and lean my forehead against his. "Give me a baby." I reach behind me and undo the zipper to my dress. "Your baby."

His eyes pierce me when I stand up and my dress falls to the floor.

I hook my thumbs onto the sides of my panties but he halts me. "Let me." His hands skim my lower back and he pulls me to him.

I gasp when he drops to his knees before me and plants soft kisses along my stomach.

I close my eyes in torment because unlike Ricardo's soft kisses that once healed me, DeLuca's kisses are searing all my scars open again.

I jump back when I hear the door to his bedroom open and in walks the last person I was expecting to see.

That woman...that witch from Italy.

"What the fuck?" I sputter, looking around for something to cover myself up.

DeLuca grabs hold of my arm. "She needs to be here, Bambina."

I open my mouth to protest but she looks at Deluca. Her eyes shoot daggers at him and her mouth twists into a snarl before she says, "In order for this to be effective, you ca

She gives him the nastiest look I've ever seen. It's so intense my mouth hangs open in shock. It's obvious this woman hates DeLuca.

DeLuca grunts and glares at her. "I'm aware. That part has already been taken care of." His eyes fall on me. "Right, Bambina?"

"Yes," I whisper, practically choking on the words. "I love you, mio amore."

If I wasn't so desperate to save Ricardo, I'd start laughing at how ridiculous this all is. He grabs my hips and begins kissing my stomach again.

He swiftly removes my panties and his tongue dips inside my navel. The witch begins chanting something I'll never in a million years understand, but I don't miss the mischievous smirk on her face.

Terror creeps up my spine because although I don't believe in magic or curses, the woman has the creepy look down to a science.

However, when her eyes find mine they become warm and her smirk turns into a comforting smile.

DeLuca's back is turned to her so he doesn't see when she winks and gestures for me to keep going.