Blame it on the shame Part 2

"Yeah, never saw that one coming. Ricardo didn't, either."

I slink back to the floor, the thought of her bringing my own situation to the forefront. "So, what happens if I do end up pregnant with DeLuca's baby?" I put my head in my hands. "He thinks I'm the key to breaking this...this curse. What if he's right? What do I do? What does Ricardo do?"

I put my hand over my mouth to stop myself from puking. "I can't have his baby, Emilio. I'd rather die."

Besides, the only baby I want is the one that was savagely taken from me.

He gives me the saddest look I've ever seen before he says, "You won't end up pregnant, Lucia

I roll my eyes. "You can't guarantee that. You don't know—" I stop when I realize. "You son-of-a-bitch!"

I stand back up, hoping what I suspect isn't correct, but knowing with all my heart that it is. The fact that he can't even look me in the eyes right now confirms it. "The curse really is broken—but not because of DeLuca. It's because I can't have children anymore...can I?"

 

"I thought I told you to start packing for Italy," DeLuca barks. "I've already had to call the pilot to tell him we'll be late. Now get up."

I don't move a muscle.

Not even when DeLuca drags me off the bed and onto the floor.

Not even when he takes his gun out and points it at me. "Snap out of it," he bellows.

I barely register his words.

However, I do register when he lays the gun down on the floor in front of me. "Here."

I must be hallucinating. He can't be serious.

But damn that gun looks tempting.

I lift my head and look into his cold, dark, evil eyes. "I hate you," I say deadpan, because it's true.

This man has taken everything from me.

My virtue, my freedom, my sanity, the man I love, and my child.

It's that last thought that causes my next action.

I pick the gun up and he raises an eyebrow. "I hate you," I say again, louder this time.

"Then do it," he prompts.

The anger pulsing through me is like nothing I've ever experienced before. But it fails in comparison to the sheer devastation stabbing me in the heart.

There's only one way I can be with my baby again. The only way I can undo all of this pain.

I put the gun to my head.

Images of Ricardo flash through my mind, images of us in love and happy, but it's still not enough to stop me. The pain is too unbearable.

I close my eyes and pull the trigger...awaiting my sweet relief.

A sweet relief that never comes.

Because there are no bullets in the gun and it was just another one of DeLuca's cruel tricks.

"Goddammit, Lucia

When I look up at him, I'm surprised to find him looking shaken and upset. "I thought you were stronger."

I laugh like a madwoman. "Well, I guess we both once thought things about the other that are no longer true. Huh?"

His hand wraps around my throat and he lifts me up off the ground.

He sucks his teeth and looks down at me. "Yes, it's rather unfortunate. Don't you think?" He looks around the room. "Especially for you— given you're stuck with me for an entire lifetime now, Wife."

I shake my head, because he's so fucking wrong. Not when I find a gun that works I'm not.

He backs me into the wall and presses a hand to my heart. "Pull that shit again and I swear to God, I'll make you suffer."

"You already do," I say through clenched teeth. "Every moment I'm with you I suffer."

The hand around my throat grows tighter. "I think you're forgetting something, Bambina."

I can't answer due to him slowly choking me. He takes the opportunity to continue, "I know everything about you. Every. Single. Fucking. Thing."

He presses down on my heart. The pressure hurts like hell. Like he's actually stopping my heart from beating. He releases my throat for half a second and I make a strangled sound as the corners of his lips turn up in a snarl. "Everything—from the way your cunt tastes—to the exact moment your heart decides to beat."

He licks my neck and I fight back nausea. "And most importantly...I know the way you look at someone you've fallen in love with."

He bites my neck so hard I cry out. "Because you used to look at me that way."

He holds my gaze and I feel the entire world shift on its axis. "Attempt to off yourself again. Hell, attempt to cross me again, Bambina—" He leans in close. "And I'll bring you his heart on a silver platter...right before I make you swallow and choke on it."

I close my eyes, because he's got me right where he wants me.

I hate Ricardo...but it doesn't overshadow the love I still feel for him.

"What do you want from me?"

His hand splays over my stomach. "You know what I want, Bambina—you carrying my seed."

"What if I can't?"

He smiles. "You can and you will. It may take a few weeks, but I'm willing to wait." He crosses his arms over his chest. "Now go pack."

"Why are we going to Italy?"

He lets out a frustrated sigh. "Because I've been offered a position on the council...given that I've managed to do something no one else ever has. However, they would like to meet you first. Find out what kind of woman will bear the next DeLuca son. See if she's as strong as I told them all she was."

He eyes me up and down, disgust across his face. "How strong she used to be, anyway."

I give him a sly grin, purposely taunting him. "What if it's a girl?"

The hand on my stomach balls into a fist and I wince. "Then she better not be a raging fucking cunt like her mother is."

He lifts my dress and I shake my head, knowing I've pushed him too far and wishing I hadn't.

I cry out when he pushes a finger inside me. I'm still cramping and far too sore and his movements are sharp and painful. "But to answer your question, if the baby is a girl, we try again." He adds another finger and I hiss because it hurts so much. "And again." When he adds a third finger, I double over in pain, but he forces me back up. "And again. Get the picture?"

I nod and he removes his fingers. I close my eyes, thankful it's over— until I hear the sound of him removing his belt buckle and he says, "In fact, why don't we start right now?"

"No. Please," I plead, my voice cracking.

He looks down at his fingers which are stained red. "You know, on second thought...I'd rather wait until you've finished bleeding out your first child."

The statement causes me to slide down the wall in a fit of sobs.

His evil laughter fills the room and I wish more than anything that his gun had a fucking bullet in it...because I know exactly where I'd aim and shoot now.