Blame it on the shame Part 2

Chapter 20 (Lou-Lou)

I hear footsteps coming down the stairs. I roll over on my cot and bury my head in my pillow.

"We need to talk," Emilio says. "And since DeLuca's in a business meeting...this is the only moment we have before the shit hits the fan."

"I have nothing to say to you."

"Look, you couldn't make a decision, so I had to." He holds up his hands. "I tried to tell you that your plan wouldn't work, but you refused to see reason. Doing this was the only way to protect him."

I roll back over and punch him so hard in the face he staggers back.

I hobble to my feet and the look I shoot him causes him to stare at me wide-eyed. Straight up venom is pouring through my veins and I want to murder him in cold blood. I want to tear apart the people he loves limb for limb so he can see how the fuck it feels. "Do you have a family?"

He looks put off by my question, but I smack his chest. "Anyone at all that you give a fuck about besides yourself?"

He scrubs a hand down his face and his answer rattles me enough I stop speaking. "I think you already know the answer to that."

Ricardo.

"I know now that you really do love him, Lucia

I glare at him, because I have no words. That moment will forever be embedded in my mind.

It was the moment I saved the man I loved while simultaneously killing my baby.

In one single moment, everything changed.

That moment will haunt me for eternity.

"Why?" I choke out. "Tell me why."

"Because I promised his mother I would always look out for him...even when she couldn't."

I give him a questioning look, wondering if what I'm thinking is right.

He swallows thickly. "Yeah. I was in love with Isabella."

"So, that's why you helped her get away from DeLuca." It's not a question, but he nods. "Yes. It's also why I never stopped working for DeLuca." I open my mouth to question him further, but he says, "She always knew there was a chance he would find him and she begged me to stay in case that happened. She wanted Ricardo to have someone to protect him and be there for him."

I can't help but snort. This woman was a real piece of work. "Mother of the freaking year," I blurt out. He glares daggers at me but I give them right back to him. "You had to know about the way she treated him."

"She was sick," he says. "But you're right...he never deserved any of that."

I nod and another thought hits me. "Does Ricardo know you and his mother were an item?"

He looks at the floor and shakes his head. "No—because we never were."

"But I thought—"

"I was in love with her," he says, cutting me off. "But that love was never returned." He rakes a hand through his hair. "She couldn't—after everything she had been through she just wasn't capable of it. She was too damaged."

That eerie, sinking feeling in my chest is back. "Didn't stop you from loving her, though."

His eyes co

"I guess that's why you'll stop at nothing to protect him."

His eyes turn hard. "It was the only thing she ever asked of me."

"Yeah well, you might have noble intentions when it comes to Ricardo, but I'll never forgive you for what you did to me."

"I don't want your forgiveness," he whispers. "I don't deserve it."

I feel tears sting the corners of my eyes. "My baby is gone."

"It was the only way to save him." He takes a step closer to me. "And there are some things you really need to know, Lucia

"Don't bother." I take a step back. "Because I don't want to survive." I curl my arms around myself. "Not anymore."

He gets in my face. "You have to. If you don't Ricardo—"

I slam my fist against his chest. "I don't care!" I scream. "He's the reason my baby died."

Emilio opens his mouth to say something but I hold up a hand. "I chose him. I chose him and as much as a part of me will always love him...I don't know how to not hate him for that."

A sob escapes from my throat. "I don't know how to not hate myself for it." My eyes swivel to his. "So you see? Survival isn't really something I care about anymore."

"Fine," he bites out. "Suit yourself." He starts making his way toward the staircase but stops abruptly. "You might not care about your survival anymore...but I hope you still care about his."

He turns and looks at me. "Because DeLuca's going to crush him. And if there's an ounce of love left in your heart for him, you'll let him."

With that, he makes his way up the staircase and closes the door.

I exhale sharply and rub my temples, trying to understand what he meant by that.

The glint from something shiny catches my eye and I immediately look down at my finger.

Disbelief and terror drum through me. Fuck no. This can't be real. How the hell did he ever get away with this?

It's DeLuca, you moron. He can get away with anything.

Emilio's words from before slice through my head. "There are some things you really need to know, Lucia