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Chapter 22 (Ricardo)
A little over 3 weeks have come and gone.
A little over 3 weeks of Lou-Lou ignoring me, pushing me away...but always ending up in my bed and in my arms every single night.
She can deny it all she wants but I know she doesn't want to go back to DeLuca.
I don't want her to either.
We were both ecstatic when he called the third week in August and said his arrival would be delayed for another week.
I tried getting her to open up to me about what's going on inside her head, but she won't.
I tried telling her that I can't help ease her fears if she won't tell me what they are...but still no dice.
She's stuck in her 'team of one' mentality again.
Which can only mean one thing.
She still doesn't trust me.
And if that's the case...I'm afraid she never will.
Every time she tells me she loves him, I fight the urge to put my fist through the goddamn wall.
I'm losing her every single day that goes by.
I'm losing the girl who makes me happy and drives me fucking crazy.
I'm losing the girl who makes me want to push her off a cliff and then jump in to save her at the last possible second.
Her wall is back up and I can't get through to her...the only thing she'll let me do is hold her every night while she insists on telling me how much she wants and loves him.
It's fucking torture.
After three weeks straight of this...she almost has me convinced it's the truth and I'm ready to give up.
I keep telling her that I'll find a way to get her to stay here...but it's like it goes in one ear and out the other.
Hell, even Tyrone and Jackson have noticed our 'fake relationship' is having major problems.
Jackson told me I'd be better off without her and muttered under his breath that I needed to stop trying to be 'captain save-a-hoe.'
Tyrone smacked him in the back of the head and told him to just wait until he meets a girl that does to him what Lou-Lou does to me.
I was ready to punch Jackson after that comment but he sat me down and started ticking things off his fingers.
Things like—One, the first time he saw her she was passed out drunk in my arms. And the first day he met her she accused his friend of raping her.
Two—the first week she was here he was breaking up a fight between me and Tyrone.
Three—the day before she went on a date with Tyrone she was throwing herself at him in the locker room.
Four—the fact that her ring girl uniform was on the floor of his living room one night...and yet she was leaving my apartment the next morning in nothing but her bra and panties.
Five—I almost killed him in the ring that day because I was upset over something having to do with her.
And finally...he said she's too 'territorial'. He said that her beating Scarlet into a bloody pulp was a huge red flag. And the fact that Momma doesn't like her should tell me something.
I wanted to argue and tell him that things aren't always what they seem...but I couldn't.
Because I can't tell him everything she's been through.
I can't tell him the truth...period.
After he left, Tyrone pulled me aside and told me to fight for her.
When I questioned him further...he said that the heart wants what the heart wants. And sometimes the juice was worth the squeeze in the end. But he said that in my case, I needed to take control and stop the lemon from rolling off the damn table first.
Clearly, their advice has only made me more conflicted.
I'd fight for her but what's the use in fighting for a girl who doesn't want you?
What's the point of fighting for a girl who's not yours in the first place?
I told her I'd never take something from her that she didn't give me and I meant it.
I knock on her door...again.
I need to warn her that DeLuca called and told me he's on his way home from Italy...he'll be landing any minute.
I also want to tell her that if she puts her faith and trust in me and stops pushing me away...I'll find a way to handle it.
I mutter a curse and I'm getting ready to kick the fucking door down again when Jackson and Tyrone walk up the stairs.
They both shuffle their feet, appearing uncomfortable.
This can't be good.
Jackson holds up his hands. “Nope, I'm tired of being the asshole. Tyrone, you're on deck.”
Tyrone looks in the direction of her apartment and sighs. “I take it she didn't tell you?”
I don't like where this is going. “Tell me what?”
He shuffles his feet again and I'm about to throw him through the wall when he finally speaks. “We ran into Lou-Lou downstairs in the parking lot.”
“Okay...and?”
“She was loading a few suitcases in the trunk of her car. When we asked her where she was going she wouldn't say. She just gave us both a hug and told us goodbye. Then she made us promise to take care of you.”
“It's true,” Jackson chimes in. “You know I'm not her biggest fan but she was a wreck, Ricardo. I actually felt bad for her...real bad. I thought you two got into another fight or something. I thought—”
I don't hear the rest of his statement because I'm ru
I slide into my seat and gun the engine of my mustang.
I can't believe she left without telling me...without saying goodbye.
I don't want her to say goodbye.
I slam my steering wheel and press down on the gas until there's nothing but a trail of smoke in the parking lot.
I'm not giving her up without a fight.
I never fought for anything I ever wanted because I never thought I was worthy of it.
Lou-Lou might think she's fucked up and damaged...but to me—she's perfect, strong and beautiful.
She's everything I want...and I know she feels this co
I know she feels the same way about me that I do about her. I feel it.
I feel it every time her heart beats against mine. I feel it every time she's in my arms.
I feel it because I've never wanted anything in my life...the way that I want her.
I weave through traffic revving the engine going well past 100 miles per hour.
I can't get to her fast enough because every second she's with him...it means she's not with me where she belongs.
I press a button on my burner phone and Emilio answers on the second ring.
“I need a favor.”
“Does it involve getting rid of another dead body?”
One could only hope.
“Nope...but how do you feel about faking an authentic Italian accent?”
“I can do that—” he starts to say before I cut him off. “And blowing up a mansion belonging to a certain mob boss?”
I look at the clock on the dashboard. “All in the next two hours, give or take.”
“Are you crazy, kid?” he screams. “What the hell's gotten into you? I'm not killing your father. Your remaining family members in Sicily will chop my entire family into pieces.”
It's true...they most definitely would.
“And you know what they would do to you,” he adds.
Yeah, I do...because DeLuca's are never allowed to kill one another. The penalty for such a cardinal crime would be killing everyone I ever cared about.