The Fine Print

Rowan breaks my heart all over again when he shakes his head. “I was always meant to go back.” 

You’re a fool, Zahra. He’s been hiding this all from you since day one. I sniffle, trying to hold back the tears threatening to burst. 

“That’s not what I asked, and you know it. Stop playing your mind games and tell me the truth.” 

His jaw ticks. “My personal feelings on the matter are irrelevant.” 

I stare down at my trembling hands. “Why are you moving back?” Why are you giving up on us because you’re scared? 

“My future is in Chicago.” 

My heart feels like Rowan clutched onto it with his cold fist and ripped it out of my chest. “So you say.” My voice cracks. 

God. How could I have let myself fall for Rowan despite knowing deep down the kind of man he was? 

The muscles in his jaw become more pronounced. “I regret hurting you. This was all a mistake.” 

A mistake. I think a knife to the heart would be less cruel than this conversation. I’m the one who made a mistake. I thought a lot of hopeful things, but most of all, I thought Rowan loved me enough to face the demons holding him back. But this isn’t some fairy tale. Change doesn’t magically happen because someone threw pixie dust in the air or made a wish on a shooting star. 

No. That’s not how real life works. People need to put in the work to fix themselves, and while I’ve done it, Rowan hasn’t. He’s too afraid. Too selfish. Too consumed by his drive for more, without even realizing what exactly he wants more of. I thought he wanted more of me, but I put stock in something make-believe. 

“I’m sorry for hurting you.” His voice drops to a whisper. 

The lump in my throat becomes a living, breathing thing, blocking my ability to breathe. “And I’m sorry for ever thinking you were better than the selfish, cruel man everyone labels you as.” 

He flinches. It’s the first sign of real, raw emotion I’ve seen from him today. 

He looks away and nods. “I see.” 

A tear betrays me, sliding down my cheek. I swipe it away. “I’ll find a way to repay you for everything because I want nothing to do with you or your money again. Even if it takes me my whole life to pay off this damn room, I’ll do it.” 

His throat bobs. “I don’t want—”

I cut him off before he can sink his claws further into my heart. “I’m feeling tired all of a sudden.” 

He nods. “Of course. I never meant to distress you while you’re feeling this way.” 

I say nothing. 

“Do you want me to stay until your parents come back?” He looks at the chair closest to my bed. 

“No. I’d rather be alone, but thanks for everything again.” My voice is cold and withdrawn—a perfect match for him. 

“But—” 

It’s immature, but I turn my back toward him and the door. I don’t want to talk anymore. I’m too afraid I might lose it in front of him. Tears stream down my face, creating a wet spot on my pillow. 

Rowan lets out a deep breath. His footsteps match the beat of the heart monitor. 

I jolt when his hand brushes across my hair. 

He presses his lips against the top of my head. “You deserve the world and more.” 

The door to my room clicks closed, leaving me behind with nothing but beeping machines and my painful sobs to keep me company.