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Chapter Twenty-Nine
“The only way to cheat death
is by creating a love that
will live forever.”
—Oliver Masters
mia.
IT WAS MARCH 2ND.
The clouds lie sad and heavy above us. I sat with my hands folded nervously in my lap and Tyler at my side. Lynch just gave a speech moments before at a makeshift podium seated at the top of the steps of Dolor. It looked like any other day, dark skies, black wardrobe, and whispers spreading in the small group of people who came.
But it wasn’t any other day.
It was the day of Zeke’s funeral.
The sound of tires against gravel hit the driveway before rolling through the iron gates and the murmurs dissolved instantly. I craned my neck to see a white van come to a complete stop behind us. When my eyes landed on Stanley stepping out of the van and sliding the back door, I jumped to my feet and looked up at Ollie who stood beside Lynch at the top of the stairs.
Ollie didn’t meet my gaze. His eyes fixed ahead.
I turned back, and a guy stepped out in a blue jumpsuit. The rattling of cuffs persuaded the whispers to start again around me.
“Holy hell … ”
“Oh-my-god”
“Who is that?”
“ … it’s Tommy.”
Tommy darted his eyes around before dropping his head to the ground when both feet hit the concrete. Loose brown curls piled high on his head but short around the sides. His face had intricate lines—strong jawline, sharp nose, and high cheekbones. All eyes watched as he took the last chair in the back row. Lynch cleared his throat, calling everyone’s attention to the front. “Oliver would like to say a few words. We will have a moment of silence, and then it’s back inside. Madilyn Wyser’s memorial service is being held in her home town, but we will hold a moment of silence for her over the green tomorrow.”
I looked back over my shoulder at Zeke’s brother, who lifted his head at the same time. Our eyes locked. He held my gaze, dark eyes staring at me through the courtyard. Flashbacks of all the times Zeke stared at me from across the table in the mess hall raced through my mind. The color of red outlined his penetrating stare, yet a calmness swept through us and over me. I offered a small smile, and Tommy narrowed his dark eyes. His expression froze for a beat before the muscles in his face relaxed. An ache pricked behind my eyes and the air caught in my chest.
“I’ve written many words in my lifetime, well over a million, I’m sure,” Ollie paused and gripped the podium at the front. His head dropped down, his knuckles turned white, and complete silence fell over everyone at the sound of his voice. “But what I’m about to say … it would never be enough. I could say some words, fill this silence with poetry, but the truth is, words could never describe the impact Zeke had on this earth, because with Zeke, you just feel it. Zeke was a friend, a fighter, a listener, a cheerleader,” his eyes hit Tommy in the back, “a brother.” Ollie exhaled and turned his eyes to the sky. “But most of all,” he dropped his head down and found me, “Zeke was a lover.
“Love … the light in his mornings and the motivation to keep him from succumbing to the darkest of days. Zeke believed in fairy tales, in sparks, and happily ever after’s, but he also believed in the honest, chaotic, and hardest kind of love. Zeke saw it before I had a chance to blink. And in times when I had nothing left to give and the thought of giving up was pulling at me from every direction, Zeke was there, curls bouncing, eyes focused, fingers restless, putting the bloody pieces back together.
“Zeke is love. He is a reminder that no matter how difficult it gets, no matter how often you’re tested or what obstacles are thrown, love is always worth fighting for,” Ollie sucked in a breath and ran a palm down his face, “and dying for.”
“Zeke should not be remembered in tears. Zeke would want us to remember him in smiles, in laughs, and in every joyous moment we find ourselves in, because it’s there, in those rare moments, when he is all around us.”
He lifted his hands and signed the rest, Love you, brother. Evermore.
I dropped my head back, and a single raindrop landed on my cheek, and I closed my eyes.
The clouds parted, and rain fell over us. No one moved. No one spoke. Ollie took a step back from the podium and faced the sky. Tears mixed with rain streamed down my face, and I fought the urge to blink. Ollie pushed his hair back and pressed his palms to his eyes. He’d just spoken words of holding it together when all his body wanted to do was fall apart.
I jumped to my feet and rushed toward him, clothes completely soaked and feet not moving nearly as fast as I’d liked. When I reached him, I wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed my head into his chest.
Ollie held me tighter, his head fell into my neck and fisted the back of my sweatshirt.
We didn’t say anything. We only stood under the rain until Ollie’s breathing calmed and we shivered in the cold. When I removed my head from his chest and looked around, everyone else had already parted ways, Tommy included.
Ollie linked our hands together, and we walked back inside the doors of Dolor.
“That was beautiful,” I whispered to Ollie. Dry and warm, we faced each other in bed. He had been quiet the past couple of days, and I wondered if there was a part of him that blamed me for Zeke’s death as well. Not only had Ollie watched his best friend die, but he also killed Madilyn.
We’d hardly seen each other afterward. As soon as I’d left to get help, Ollie and I were separated and questioned in different rooms for almost an entire day. I had been released first and had waited for him all night last night. When he had finally entered the dorm at close to midnight, he’d stripped down and sunk in the bed beside me, silently holding on to me for dear life.
The funeral was the first time I’d heard him speak since Zeke’s death.
Ollie nodded. “No words will ever amount to what he’s given to me in return.”
“He looked up to you. He loved you so much, and would have given you the world.”
“That’s the thing, Mia. He gave me the fucking world, and I’m looking right at her. I couldn’t react quick enough. It could’ve so easily been you,” Ollie’s breathing shook, and he grabbed the side of my head and looked me in the eyes. “He did this for us. He did this so I wouldn’t spend my days drowning in tears and heartache. So, I refuse to cry. He deserves more than fucking tears. He deserves every smile I put on your face for the rest of my life. He deserves all the laughter, the stolen kisses, the lifetime of feels, the sleepless nights of conversations … He deserves for us to live.”
It turns out the real Bria
Because of Madilyn’s delusional disorder, she never got the help she needed. The real tragedy was … Zeke’s death could’ve been avoided. From the very begi