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I screamed out, tears spilled from the corner of my eyes, and I fell to the floor along with the rest of me. People smashed into me, trying to get a view of the action inside, but all I could do was press my palms against my ears to drown out the sounds and move along the wall to get out of the way.
Time passed, and eventually people scattered. A wave of cold air brushed passed me, and I shivered against it. The door opened, but I was too scared to look up and face the music. Ollie’s Chuck Taylor’s appeared beside me. Then Ethan’s boots came into view for a mere moment. I lifted my head to see the two shaking hands before Ethan turned and walked away before I had a chance to see his face.
“Mia,” Ollie pressed, his hand landing over my shoulder. “Look at me.”
“Leave her alone. She obviously doesn’t want to talk to you,” Jake muttered, and I had no idea he’d hung around for this long. I didn’t have to look up to know he was standing across from me at the opposite side of the hall.
Ollie slid down the wall beside me. The heat and familiarity emitting from him comforted me, but I was too mad to accept it. “I’m not going anywhere, Mia. I’ll sit here all night if I have to,” Ollie said to me.
Sure enough, Ollie sat beside me. I don’t know who else was around anymore. I was too stubborn to lift my head and check. A few students walked by, but no one talked.
“Well this is fun and all, but I’m going to head out,” Jake mumbled, and his footfalls faded down the hall.
Ollie and I sat in silence. I don’t know how much time had passed. I didn’t know where the hell Ethan had gone or if he was still here. I didn’t know anything anymore. The only thing I was sure of, I was fucking mad.
“I love you, Mia,” Ollie whispered, bumping his leg next to mine.
“That was selfish. You’re selfish.”
Ollie blew out air. “Selfish, yeah?”
“Yeah,” I breathed into the hoodie. “And dangerous.”
I felt his mind racing at the speed of light. Somehow, his thoughts touched me and sifted through me. The need to wring out his worry made my fingers twitch inside my sleeve. He just pounded into Ethan’s head for no good reason. A reason that was all my fault. This had been all my fault, and the two people I loved were stewing in the aftermath.
“Selfish,” he repeated with a shake of his head. He stretched out his legs in front of him and stuffed his hands into his pockets. “You know, I remembered seeing this movie … I can’t remember the bloody name of it and to be honest, I might’ve imagined it, but I’ll never forget what the girl said … something along the lines of you can’t be both selfish and in love. Humans are created to love themselves first and foremost, the reason we can’t physically harm ourselves with our bare hands. You’ll never be able to break skin using your own teeth or scratch beyond the surface enough to draw blood. And the ones who do are considered dangerous—insane even.”
Tilting my head, I laid it across my folded arms to face him. Blood seeped down his busted eyebrow, but I didn’t say anything. He’d probably deserved it, and I wondered how bad Ethan looked.
Ollie put his thumb between his teeth and clenched his eyes, his brows knitted together in determination. I lifted my head as my breath held in my chest. “What are you doing?” It finally dawned on me, and I tried pushing his arm away, but Ollie leaned away, shielding himself with his other arm.
When he pulled his thumb away, blood pumped from the broken skin. My eyes bulged from their sockets, darting back and forth. Ollie straightened his posture and shook his head. “The most dangerous man is a man in love,” he faced me, eyes wild and calm concurrently, “because I’d tear off my own flesh before someone hurts you … and if I’d do that to myself, imagine what I’d do to someone else.”
I stared at him, his adoring green eyes staring back at me. Ollie’s arm hung over his knee, his palm face-up as blood dripped over the marble. “Don’t ever do that again,” I fumed, and grabbed his thumb and wrapped it into the sleeve of my hoodie. “You’re insane.”
He smiled. “I’m in love,” he corrected, and his head fell back against the wall. “Are you still mad at me?”
An incredulous smile rose to my lips, and I wiped my eyes with the back of my free hand. “Yeah. I’m still mad at you.”
Together, we climbed back to our feet. Ollie grabbed my hand in his and sucked off his bleeding thumb. “Hey, Mia?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t ever try what I just did. It fucking hurts.”
“Good.” I laughed and shoved my shoulder into his arm.
My gaze burned holes into the side of Jude’s face before it traced over his temple, his prominent nose, and long hair. Before, I had been a scared little bitch. But that was before.
My fear had since turned to anger.
Ollie’s fingers dug into my thigh, attempting to absorb the rage rolling through me. “Baby, eat,” he said.
Ollie never called me that. He was desperate.
A security guard from confinement, who I nicknamed Yeti, stood in Ethan’s usual place. Typically, we don’t see guards from other areas very often. Not nearly long enough to know their names, and many of them refuse to offer giving it, but Yeti wasn’t much older than me with blonde wavy hair and crystal blue eyes. No facial hair, average height. The kind of guy who probably had girls following him around in high school, or whatever they called it here, and didn’t have a dream to follow after that. Yeti rocked a dad bod, I was still unsure if he had the kid to match, working for a dangerous school on minimum wage. The Yeti nickname came from the silver Yeti cup he carried around, probably laced in liquor from the way he swayed against the wall.
Yeti would be the perfect victim, so easy for me to get access to his set of keys.
“I need to get into Lynch’s office,” I rasped out, a plan formulating in my head. “I need access to files to learn my enemy.” Ollie drummed his forefinger and thumb against my thigh before pulling his hand away and scratching over his chest. My comment made him nervous, but I was going to do this with or without him. “I need to get my hands on a set of guard’s keys.”
Ollie’s palm ran down his face, looking over every inch of the mess hall before turning his piercing emerald gems to me. I’d just threatened his plan of laying low and walking out of here together. One idea, and I’d threatened our future.
It’s not my fault, Ollie. I’m just playing the same game.
“Got it all figured out, yeah?” Ollie asked.
I set my lips in a hard line.
“Dammit, Mia,”—Ollie slammed his fist into the table, making both Zeke and I jump— “Four bloody months. Until then, the only thing you’re doing is eating, sleeping, and enjoying every fucking night with me.” Easy for him to say. He wasn’t the one trapped in a dark enclosed room for over an hour. And even so, he was quick to take it out on the wrong person. “You have to trust me on this.”
I lifted my chin and hit my gaze back on Jude. That’s what it feels like. The words from the note repeated over and over, and I wondered what he meant by that.
Ollie’s hand grabbed my face, turning my attention to him. “Promise me … you’re going to let me take care of it.” His eyes prayed, and his jaws clenched. “Say it, Mia. Promise me.”
“I promise.” I bit the inside of my cheek to feel the sting of my lie. Looking into his eyes doing it felt like a blade to the throat. Ollie’s lips landed on my forehead, and my eyes closed.