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Travis pushed my hand away. “Wait until you’re out of here. Six months and I’ll be having a nice fucking filet waiting for you at your new house.”
I took a step back and raised my brows in the air. “You found one?” Travis and I made a deal in jail. I’d take care of him, pay him as my assistant as long as he handled my finances. After I was transported back to Dolor, I’d sent him on a mission to find me the perfect house. Two bedrooms, a master bedroom with a bay window, and a beautiful view overlooking water. All Mia ever talked about when leaving here was putting her toes in the water, and I was going to make that happen. I’d give Travis the tools he needed to make the purchase, and he could live in the house until I left here. My weekly phone calls have been spent with the bank, setting up a separate bank account and making transfers for the purchase.
Despite how fucked I’d been in the head, my heart could never give up on my dream of a life with Mia and Zeke.
Making a deal with Travis was risky. He could have taken the money and run, but he wouldn’t have. His only goal was to turn his life around for love. I’d never discussed Mia with him, but Summer was all he talked about.
And I knew from experience that love could change a man.
“Yeah, mate. It’s all right here. Just needs your signature,” Travis said with a ridiculous smile and a hand pointing over to a file lying on the table beside us. “Eighteen properties. Eighteen fucking properties me and Summer walked through to find the one, and I really hope you’re not disappointed … ”
I opened the file, and the first page that stared back at me was a one-story cobblestone house, complete with a creek ru
Fully furnished, the main bedroom looked like it had escaped from my mind and painted over the paper. A bay window took up one side of the wall, complete with a fireplace, and unwelcomed tears pooled at the corners of my eyes as my knee picked up a bounce under the table.
I closed the file and leaned back into the chair. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I fought the emotions threatening to consume me. It was all I ever wanted—a home. But what I never expected was for him to find the home. The same home I’d imagined for Mia and I so many times. I’d sent him on a ridiculous goose chase, believing the chances were slim to none. But he found it.
“Bloody hell, you don’t like it … ”
Ru
Mia talked highly of Dr. Conway. I’d never directly spoken to the doctor before. This was our first one-on-one session. I entered the small room, and my gaze touched over the posters, the window with the view of the front of campus, and the large brown couch, thinking how many times Mia had been in here.
“Do you prefer Oliver or Ollie?” Dr. Conway asked as she walked behind me and closed the door.
“Doesn’t matter.” My body sunk into the leather in the corner, and I stretched out my legs.
Dr. Conway took a seat in her office chair and turned to face me. “Oliver it is. I have a thing with nick-names, never liked them.”
“Fair enough.”
“Looks like Dr. Butala referred you to me. How are things going with the medication?”
“Quite frankly, I need to get off them. They’re not working like they’re supposed to, or not like they used to, anyway. This void is inside as if I’m missing something. I’m incomplete. They turn me into a hollow-horny-wanker, and I don’t want to feel like this anymore. You understand what I’m saying?” The second I saw what I’d done to Mia, I’d realized none of this was worth it. When I’d told Butala to make me feel everything or nothing, I wasn’t in my right frame of mind. I wanted to feel everything. Mia deserved everything.
Somehow, even on the pills, Mia still pushed her way through, only driving me to utter insanity. Our love pushed its way through. No amount or strength of pills could force me to surrender any longer. I needed to get off them completely.
“It says here you can be hot-headed without the meds,” Dr. Conway pointed out, a question mark lingering at the end.
Leaning over, I dug my elbows into my knees. “I’m also kind, loving, and sincere without them. Doesn’t that count for something?”
“You don’t have much longer, Oliver. Six months and you graduate. You’ll be a free man.”
“I don’t have six months.” In only two months, I’d caused enough damage to push Mia to never speak to me again. Risking another six wasn’t an option.
“What’s this really about?”
Had I been talking to the fucking kitten on the wall this whole time? “I can’t lose her.”
“Who, Oliver?”
“Mia.”
“What does Mia have to do with this?”
“Everything.”
The small room went quiet as Dr. Conway’s brown eyes bore into mine. “I want to try something.”
“Anything.”
“First, I need you to relax. Get comfortable and close your eyes.” I sunk back into the leather chair and hesitantly closed my eyes. The sound of papers shuffling sounded around me and the slight gust of air blew over me from the AC vent. “We’re going to do what’s called mindful meditation. You don’t have to speak. I only want you to listen to my voice.”
Dr. Conway wasted no time and continued speaking in a soft voice as I tried my best to drown in this spot and lose myself from the world around me.
The only vision that came to my mind was Mia.
Big brown eyes. Hair the color of an oak tree—twisted shades of lights and darks. Her touch so delicate yet able to penetrate my soul. I sank deeper and deeper.
“Why are you smiling, love?” It couldn’t be past six in the morning. The sun has yet to come up, but the light she’s putting off warms my very soul. There’s definitely a smile on her lips this very moment, and it’s touching every inch of me, waking me, filling me—my heaven.
“How did you know I was smiling?” she asks in amusement.
“I can feel it.” I can also feel her turn to face me as I lie on my side. Then her finger runs across my lashes as they do every morning to get me to open my eyes.
“Because I’m happy,” she finally responds. It was my turn to smile, though with her it was hard not to. “Open your eyes, Ollie.”
“No.” The only time I have ever refused her. She knows I would give her anything, but opening my eyes? We’re not ready for that yet.
“Why not?”
“If I open my eyes, it means you have to leave, and I’m not ready for you to go. When my eyes are closed, I get to pretend it’s a Sunday morning and we have no place to be.” A bigger smile spreads across my lips as an idea comes to mind. I have to show her. She has to see this world I created for us that one day I’d give her. “Go on, close your eyes.”
“Why?”
“Just close them … ” I insist as I trail my fingers up her side and rub her bare back. “Are they closed?”
Her giggle fills the room, and the sound is music to my ears. “Yes, Ollie. My eyes are closed.”